Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Twenty minutes later, after replacing the fuses—two had blown instead of one, so she was exceedingly grateful that Lynx had found three—and adjusting the thermostat, the furnace kicked on.
The glorious burned-lint smell of heat pouring in through the vents filled the building. Stanley’s rock was once again warming his terrarium. Outside, the storm raged. Snow was piled over the wheel wells of her tires, and was doing a convincing job of making Ant’s truck appear undrivable.
Hazel had gathered a few blankets from the supply room and a pair of beanbag chairs that had deflated from overuse. The open area in front of the children’s books was as good a space as any to camp out, so Lynx moved the tot-sized chairs off to the side to make room.
She’d turned on a set of lights in the far corner, not wanting to douse their cozy space in greenish fluorescent-tube lighting.
“Here you go.” She delivered him a mug of hot cocoa, keeping one for herself as well.
“I smell—” He took a dramatic inhale of the liquid. “—peppermint schnapps.”
“Just a splash,” she told him, though his “splash” had been bigger than hers.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“Two-thirty.” It was dark outside, giving the impression of nighttime. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she’d missed lunch. “I’m starving.”
“Me too. Anyone leave behind their lunch? Or do we have to eat Marge’s old jellybeans?”
“I brought plenty of produce for Stanley. We could at least eat a salad.”
Lynx looked at her like she’d offered a plate with a live eel on it.
“Salad is a respectable lunch. I have hummus in the fridge too. And pita chips in my desk drawer.”
“I am now silently praying that Marge left behind a Stouffer’s lasagna.”
There wasn’t lasagna, but Hazel was pleased to find peanut butter and jelly and a few slices of whole wheat bread in the breakroom cabinet. An unremarkable lunch in her book, but Lynx had mentioned twice that it was “excellent.”
She pulled a blanket over her lap. Her stomach was no longer rumbling, but she was chilled. The old furnace was struggling to heat the large space.
“Now what?” Lynx was the first to ask. He was lounged in the bean bag in a way that still made him look cool. How did he do that?
“We could read.” She smiled.
“Yeah. No shortage of books around here.”
“Or we could get to know each other.”
“Like a date. Except we kissed at the beginning.”
She wasn’t going to discuss that—or the fact that she’d like to do it again. Instead, she clapped her hands together and said, “So. Where ya from?”
He dropped his head back on his neck and groaned, but then he answered her anyway. “Columbus.”
“Do you live with your parents? Grandparents?”
“Parents, but I’m moving soon.”
“Oh?” Her heart ka-thumped. She’d had the instant worry that he would announce he was moving somewhere far away from Ohio, like Texas or California or Tokyo. She cleared her throat and tried to sound casual when she asked, “Where to?”
“Here, actually. Just need to find a roommate who’s not my brother. What about you?”
She immediately pictured him in the spare room in her house and panicked at the thought. She’d known him a few hours and she was already imagining him at her house? Be less desperate, Hazel. “What about me what?”
“Do you live with your parents? Grandparents?” he asked, repeating her earlier question.
“Oh, neither. I have my own place. Just closed on it.”
He snapped his fingers. “You bought May’s house.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s cool. She said it’s a great spot.”
“It is. The neighbors and I share a dock. I’m pretty excited.”
“Before then, where did you live? With a boyfriend?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I lived with my grandparents before I was on my own. My mom passed away when I was a baby.”
His eyebrows bent in sympathy. “I’m sorry. What about your dad?”
She shook her head. “He does his own thing. I’ve never actually been a priority for him.” She didn’t know why she’d admitted that, but she wasn’t sorry that she had. “Anyway, I’ve always lived in the Cove. It’s a nice place to grow up.”
The vibe inside the library would have been a touch eerie if she had been here alone.
Especially with the bulb buzzing over Stanley’s terrarium and the long shadows stretching from the bookshelves.
She leaned toward Lynx a little, grateful that a giant cutout of Clifford the Big Red Dog was at her back.
“Thank you for not letting me come here alone today.” That confession was easy, too. Maybe because of the long shadows and the quiet buzzing.
“I’m happy to be useful.”
He’d said that like he hadn’t considered himself useful in the past.
“Everyone in the Cove has a use—a purpose.”
“That’s for sure.” Lynx wrapped his arms around his knees and linked his fingers, quite the different posture from the splayed-out relaxed one before it.
When he didn’t elaborate, she asked, “Is that what you’re here for? To find your purpose?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” He shrugged. “My brother and May. Ant and Lou. Hell, even Elliott. They all seem to be where they belong. It’s like there is something in the water here matching you with your creative destiny.
” He laughed, a self-conscious sound. “Ignore me. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. ”
“I think you do.” She offered a soft smile. “I’ve lived here a long time, so I know what you mean. It’s like everyone, from the police officers to the baristas to the chainsaw artists have found their perfect niches. They’re plugged in to their passions and right where they belong.”
“Yes.” He leaned toward her. “Exactly that. But you’re not? You sound like I do—like you’re looking at them from the outside wondering how to get in.”
It was such an honest observation, and such a true one, she was tongue-tied for a moment.
“Your grandmother was a librarian and you’re a librarian. You don’t want to be a librarian?”
She sucked in a breath before saying aloud for the first time, probably in her life, “Not…exactly. I love books. I love my job. I love carrying my grandma’s torch. But no, this isn’t what I want to do with my days. Even though I would miss my coworkers. And Stanley. I just…want more.”
She always had. And she’d always felt badly for that. Absent parents aside, Hazel had felt loved and wanted by her grandparents. She lived in a beautiful town, lacked nothing, and had purchased a house on the lake. She had no reason to feel unsatisfied and yet…
Lynx twisted to face her. “It’s hard. To feel like you don’t quite fit in. I’m still trying to do something—anything—right in my life. I thought that moving here might help. But I’ve been here a few staggered weekends and I’ve already fucked it up.”
“What have you fucked up?”
He grinned. “You’re cute when you swear.”
She tagged his arm, but smiled with him.
“I stole Ant’s truck for one.”
“Borrowed,” she amended.
“And now I’m stuck here with you.”
“Thanks a lot.” Her mouth dropped open.
“I didn’t mean it that way! I swear.” When she pulled her hand away, he grabbed it and held on. “I meant I should have been able to take you home safely. Probably should have tried.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Sitting here, in the beanbag confessionals, is a much better outcome than being on the side of the road freezing.”
“Beanbag confessionals?” he laughed and took in their setup. “Yeah, I guess that’s what they ended up being. I don’t mind though.”
“Me neither.”
“What do you want to do instead of be a librarian?” He still held her hand loosely. She made no effort to let go.
“Promise not to laugh?”
“I can’t promise that. What if you say you want to be a stand-up comedian? In that case, wouldn’t laughing be a compliment?”
“Only when I’m on stage. The idea of it shouldn’t be funny.”
He dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Okay. I promise.”
“I want to be a writer.”
“True crime? Horror?” He pursed his lips and then added, “Memoir?”
“Romance. But with suspense. I like a bit of intrigue.”
“You mean like being snowed in at the library with a handsome stranger and then the power goes out?”
“Something like that.” Her smile was unstoppable. “Now that I’ve shared my secrets with you, you have to share one of yours with me.”
“This feels like a trap.” He shook his head. “My secrets are worse than yours.”
“You owe me, Dane.”
He nodded slowly, his eyes on Stanley when he agreed with an “Okay fine.” He blew out a breath. “Xavier’s always been the reliable one. The guy people call when they need help.”
“And you don’t like that about him?”
“I do, actually. Because I’m usually the one calling.” He licked his lips. “It’s just… No one calls me unless they want to get into trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Just the general kind.” He went quiet for a beat before saying, “I don’t like that about myself. I don’t want to be the guy people warn you about. I want to be the one that people count on. Rely on. Bet on.” His mouth tipped into a self-aware smile. “You didn’t trust me.”
“I did. But I am also annoyingly independent. It had nothing to do with trust and everything to do with how stubborn I am.”
He chuckled. “Well, that’s good to hear.”
“You don’t strike me as trouble. I mean, sure, the leather jacket and the way you parked on that snowbank like you owned the place. You have a rebellious streak, for sure. But trouble?” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t see it.”
His mouth twitched. “Well, you don’t know me very well.”
“I know you insisted on following me here. And staying with me to make sure I was safe.”
“And insisting you take a shot of peppermint schnapps and then give me a kiss.”
“True. That was suspect.” She grinned.
He grinned.
She hadn’t had a conversation this sexually charged since…well, maybe never. Who knew a dark library could be so erotic?
“I was wondering—” He leaned close. “—if you’d let me kiss you again. That ‘not bad’ is really bothering me. I deserve a do-over.”
"That sounds fair to me.”
He let out a chuckle. “If the schnapps is skewing this one in my favor, you have to tell me. I want to earn my kisses.”
“It’s a convenient excuse, but definitely not the reason I kissed you.”
“Was it the promise of danger? Stepping out of your comfort zone? New idea for your book?”
“No. I find you incredibly attractive. And incredibly fun. After years of keeping my head down and shuffling along, I deserve some fun in my life.”
“If it’s fun you want—” He pushed his fingers into her curls and grasped her neck. “—I’m overqualified for the position.”