Chapter 18
Morgan
“What do you think of Blake?” Daddy says.
“He’s... wonderful,” I reply.
And sexy, a smooth talker, and devoted to God.
Dad smiles warmly. “Outstanding. Construction has started on the new church. Everything is going according to plan. The camera loves Blake.”
“Yes, he knows what he’s doing.”
“And Gabe?”
I shift in my chair and my heart kicks my ribs.
“I told you... I uh, the feelings aren’t there.”
“The youth love him. His streaming count is growing exponentially. We might want to add another youth service weekly. And a teen Bible camp.”
My stomach lurches at the thought.
“Maybe,” I say, meekly.
“You two are a dynamic team, romantic or not. The kids love you as much as they love him.”
I nod obediently. “Yep, but I don’t want to only work with youth. Maybe hire someone else to support Gabe so I can preach to other demographics and expand my reach.”
Slowly, he strokes his chin. “Hm. Ya know, then you could do some services with Blake. Tour with him. Yes! That could be great.”
My face rushes with heat. That will be a challenge to be around Blake so often.
My body is aching to be touched. I thought I had things under control, and then Jack shook me to my core.
Our regular texts sent me into a tailspin.
Every message made my heart speed up. They were the best part of my day.
The sole picture of us together is seared into my brain.
I’ve touched myself to it so many times.
I would never send sexy pictures to anyone.
Until Jack.
He made me abandon all reason. He felt so right, yet so wrong.
Once, I almost asked him for pictures of him.
.. naked. I didn’t see his dick when we were fooling around on the couch.
It was too dark and beneath me. I just felt the tip.
At the drag races, when I touched him, it only fed my curiosity.
And my word, I wanted more. Jack is fire, and every new text from him was leading me to being burned on a stake.
It had to end. After we talked on the phone all night, I knew I loved him. I could never sleep with him and just walk away. Not whole, anyway.
“Morgan. Can I borrow you for a sec?” says Blake, who stands in the doorway of Daddy’s office.
I jump to my feet and glance at Dad. He gestures for me to run along with a knowing smile. Both Dad and Bailey want to be matchmakers badly.
Subtly, I roll my eyes at my dad, then follow Blake.
As we walk into the main auditorium, he slips his hands into his dress pants.
“I was wondering if I could practice my sermon with you.” He sits on the edge of the stage.
I take the closest seat in the front row. “Sure.”
He begins with the opening, and it is incredibly natural. It’s as if he had memorized it word-for-word, yet his reciting is effortless. Not only that, it’s a beautiful sermon.
“You don’t need my help,” I say. “You’re talented. I know why my dad hired you.”
He grins and his teeth are blindingly white. There seems to be nothing wrong with this man. God might have sent him to our church at just the right time.
Before I fell for Jack even harder.
My heart pangs suddenly.
At the same time, my phone buzzes.
Jack.
Which is very strange because we ended things.
I open it.
Jack Killborne: (picture of the new tile installed at the center)
Jack Killborne: looks great. Do u like the color?
I can’t explain it, but tears burn my eyes. I tilt my head back to stop them and collect myself.
“Everything okay?” asks Blake.
“Oh, yeah!” I slip my phone into my pocket. “Just been a little stressed lately with promoting my new book, and we added a Bible study that I am supposed to lead. It’s a lot of preparation. My schedule is crazy.”
He nods, but there is something about the look. I wonder if he knows I am lying.
“Would you like to pray about it?”
I smile. What a perfect thing to say.
He sits beside me and takes my hand. Together, we close our eyes as he speaks.
“Lord, please help Morgan through this tumultuous time. She is under a great deal of stress.” He lowers his voice, and the tone shifts from performative to sincere. “And help unburden her heart from what brought tears to her eyes. In Jesus name, amen.”
“Amen,” I repeat.
When I open my eyes, I can’t look at him. He pats the top of my hand and stands.
“I am a fan of yours, Morgan. You are one of the reasons I took this job. I have no doubt you will overcome any challenge, and that God will always provide the right tools and people to help you along the way.”
“Thank you,” I reply, and clutch my chest.
“Anytime.” He winks coolly, then wanders away.
I am impressed. Very impressed.
Sunday evening service arrives and I eagerly attend Blake’s first event. He nails it. He’s a natural.
Afterward, we meet and greet with the fellowship.
It’s a mix of people of all ages. Some want autographs, others just want to meet the new pastor.
Someone asks for a picture of us and we pose together.
I whisper to him, “Congratulations. They love you.”
“I am blessed.”
“We are.”
The hairs on the back of my neck prickle. Something is wrong. I look over on instinct and meet laser blue eyes staring back at me.
Oh my gosh!
Jack slouches in a seat among the empty rows, several paces away. His expression is cold and intense.
“I’ll be back,” I tell Blake.
Before he can respond, I slip away.
“Hey, Jack,” I say, my voice uneasy. I can hardly breathe.
He rises and towers over me. He’s dressed in slacks and a collared shirt. He looks handsome.
“You attended the service?” I say.
“Wanted to see your new boyfriend.”
I close my eyes and frown. “He isn’t my boyfriend.”
“Why’d you stop texting me?”
We both know why, and based on his cold expression, he isn’t here for an answer.
I glance up, but veer my eyes quickly. It’s so hard to look at him. He rips open my heart and unleashes too many feelings at once.
“I told you...” I sniffle and my throat tightens. “It’s too hard for me.”
He scoffs softly. “Or maybe you found a guy who fucks you like you wanted.”
I gasp and look around, praying nobody heard that.
“You need to leave,” I say firmly.
“Morgan, that prissy guy won’t make you cum like I can.”
I gasp again. I didn’t expect him to push harder. This isn’t the guy I last talked to. He’s angrier than I’ve seen him before.
“I know you’re mad,” I whisper. “This is for the best.”
I turn away but he grabs my wrist.
“Are you happy now?” he says.
I stare, searching his eyes.
“Are you?” he repeats.
The answer hides behind my lips: No.
But I say what I must, delivering the cruelest words I can. I never thought I would be this mean, but with Jack, I break my own rules.
“I am happy, Jack. I want eternity. Salvation. You understand? I don’t want a night with a forgettable guy who treats me like a whore.”
And then I say the most final thing I can think of.
“You will never be the man for me. In any way that matters.”
This time I walk away fast and he lets me.
Later, I wave to Norm at the front desk and walk into the night air. Fall is beginning, and the breeze is cool.
I grab the door handle of my car. It opens and shuts fast, and I am spun around. My bottom is pushed against the car. Jack hooks his hand behind my neck and pulls my mouth to his like he owns me.
And he kisses me.
He consumes me, his tongue diving in and claiming me in a way I can’t stop. I don’t want to.
Because his cologne intoxicates me and his touch paralyzes my body.
When his lips part from mine, I cover my mouth, completely side-swept.
He strokes my cheek gently with his knuckle.
“Such a dumb girl. You think you could say such nasty things and I wouldn’t lose my fucking mind?”
“I’m sorry,” I squeak, still disoriented.
He pulls on my hair for just a second, then leans down and nips my earlobe. “You think I don’t know we’re a terrible match?”
My hands find his belt loops and grip them, pulling his hips flush with my front. This is so wrong, but I need him closer.
“I want you so much,” I say, pained.
He rips open the backseat door and ushers me inside like we’re running out of time. He joins me and slams the door shut.
“What are you doing?” I panic and search around.
Some people are still walking to their cars. The windows are tinted, but still, someone might see me in the backseat with a man.
“Don’t be stupid. This forgettable guy is gonna make you cum so hard you remember me till the day you die.”
He manhandles me like I weigh nothing, laying me across the backseat with my shoulders pressed to the door. He pushes up my dress and pulls down my underwear in seconds.
“Jack,” I exhale in shock, yet don’t stop him.
I don’t want to.
He lowers his face between my legs, and I gasp as his lips meet my sensitive skin. I shudder instantly. He flattens his tongue and drags it from my entrance up to my bundle of nerves. The sensation is heavenly.
I thread my fingers into his hair and tug lightly. In a shaky voice, I confess, “I masturbate thinking of you.”
Tenderly he kisses my clit, causing me to whimper.
“Oh?” More gently than he pulled off my panties, he feels my entrance with his fingertip, lightly pressing my hymen. “How are you still a virgin when you get wet this fast?”
I whimper once more. “Only you do this to me.”
He carefully slides in his finger and smirks. “Good.” Then he draws small circles with his tongue around my clit.
I drop my head back and moan, breathy and shameless. Because I crave this. I dreamt of this.
“You like that, my lil’ Bible thumper?” he rasps, then gently sucks the small mound.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He kisses, sucks, swirls, and laps my most sensitive spot. My body screams for him. I shake as euphoria builds fast. My thighs close around his ears on their own accord, and I unravel in a way I never have before. It’s nothing like touching myself.
I pant heavily as the pleasure trickles away and I come to.
He jerks my hips closer, so my shoulders slide onto the seat. He lowers himself over me. I feel swallowed under his masculine, broad frame.
For a moment, he kisses my collarbone and neck with hungry, wet caresses. Then he grinds his hips against mine. The car softly groans under our weight. His pants are still on, but his erection presses to my body, and I roll my hips, wanting him.
“You’re so pathetic and sexy when you cum, you know that?”
I shake my head.
“Beg for it, church girl. Beg for an atheist to fuck your virgin cunt.”
“Here?”
He nods and quirks a smile that’s devastatingly handsome. “Does it matter where as long as it’s me?”
I pause, staring into those eyes that make my world tilt every time.
“It doesn’t matter where,” I agree. “Jack, I—”
A whoosh of air hits as the door by my head swings open.
“Killborne!” Daddy hisses and points a gun at Jack. “Get off my daughter!”