Chapter 17 - Lola #2
She stared at him like he was a stranger. Like she was trying to understand who he really was and why he’d waited until now, until her body had become someone else’s sanctuary, to finally admit it.
“Don’t,” she said quietly. “Don’t say that now.”
“Why not?” he rasped.
“Because I needed you to say it then.”
And with that, she turned her back to him, shaking, furious, heart in shreds.
She needed out.
Now.
Lola stormed around the apartment, barely able to see straight through the thick veil of emotion blurring her vision. Fury. Humiliation. Panic. Her hands shook as she tore open the coat closet, yanked out her dark wool trench coat, and shoved her arms into the sleeves.
She hated this.
She hated that he still had the power to make her feel like this. Like the ground had been pulled out from under her. Like she was unraveling from the inside out.
Her hands fumbled for her boots. She sat down heavily on the bench near the door, trying to jam them on without thinking too hard about the way her fingers were trembling. She could still feel the ghost of his body against hers. Still hear the way his voice had cracked when he’d said he loved her.
Too little, too late.
The baby. The fight. The kiss. The claiming.
Everything he’d done tonight came from that same wild, dominant, territorial instinct. Not because he chose her. Not because he loved her in a way that had nothing to do with biology or fear or alpha obligation. Just because he was panicking, and her body had suddenly become important to him.
She wanted to scream.
Instead, she grabbed her bag from the table, shoved her keys and phone into it, and stormed back through the living room.
Behind her, she heard him speak.
“Lola—”
Her entire spine went rigid.
“Don’t.” Her voice was sharper than glass. She didn’t turn around. She couldn’t. If she saw his face, those eyes, that guilt, she might hesitate.
And if she hesitated, she’d crumble.
“I need air,” she muttered, “I need space.”
She moved to the door and swung it open. She could feel his presence at her back like a wall of heat, but he didn’t try to stop her. Not yet.
Outside, the cool night air hit her like a slap. It sobered her only slightly, enough to remind her that she had choices.
She wasn’t powerless.
She could leave. She could see friends. She could be normal again for just one night.
Cassie and Daisy had invited her to ladies’ night at the Pine Shadow Club.
She hadn’t planned to go. The idea of socializing with half the women in the pack made her want to crawl and hide.
But Daisy and Cassie were her friends. It would be good for her to get out and see them and spend some time away from alpha males.
A reminder that she still existed outside of Dane’s gravitational pull.
She headed for the car parked down the narrow drive, her boots clicking on the pavement. Her breath puffed out in angry bursts. The cold bit at her cheeks, but she welcomed it. Anything to ground her.
She reached for her keys.
That’s when she saw him.
Dane stepped directly in front of the car, arms folded across his broad chest, legs braced like a damn sentinel.
Her jaw dropped. “You have got to be kidding me.”
His expression was unreadable in the low light, all shadowed planes and simmering tension.
“I’m not letting you drive off like this,” he said.
Her eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“You’re upset. You’re pregnant. And Red Teeth’s out there.”
She held up a hand. “Don’t you dare.”
“I just want you safe.”
“You just want control.”
“Lola—”
“I am not your property!” she shouted. “You don’t get to show up, throw your feelings at me like they erase the pain you caused, and then play bodyguard when I try to leave!”
He took a step forward. “I need to be able to protect you, Lola. I will not compromise on your safety. Not for anything. I wouldn’t be able to breathe knowing you’re out there and I can’t shield you.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have shoved me away when you had the chance to keep me close!” she shouted, voice rising with every word. “Maybe you should’ve thought about protecting me emotionally before trying to slap a curfew on me like I’m your disobedient teenager!”
His face twisted. He looked like he was barely keeping a lid on his temper.
“You think I haven’t been tearing myself apart over this?” he growled, “You think I haven’t hated every second of watching you pull away, of wondering if you’d ever look at me the same?”
“Good,” she bit back, “because I don’t look at you the same. I can’t. You made sure of that.”
For a moment, the only sound was their breathing, heavy, ragged, uneven. Then, quietly, he said, “I know I don’t deserve to ask you for anything. But I’m asking anyway. Please. Just…be careful.”
Her anger wavered. Just slightly.
The way he said it, low, raw, and almost broken, cracked something open in her chest.
He wasn’t commanding her now.
He was begging.
That terrified her more than the yelling.
He took another step forward. “I know I don’t get to ask. But it’s not just about you anymore. It’s Sam. The baby. I—”
“You really think I don’t know that?” she whispered.
He opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come.
She stared at him. Not just Dane the enforcer. Not just the domineering alpha.
Just…Dane.
The man who had wrecked her, ruined her, kissed her like he couldn’t breathe without her.
The man who stood in the street like a shattered thing because he didn’t know how to make it right.
Her heart thudded painfully.
“I need space,” she said, softer this time, “I need to think. And I need you to let me go.”
His jaw clenched like it physically hurt him to step aside.
But he did.
Just one slow, agonized step out of her path.
Her hand hovered over the car door. She turned back.
“We’ll talk in the morning,” she said.
He nodded.
Then, just as she opened the door, he murmured, “Lola…”
She looked at him, barely able to meet those dagger-like eyes.
“I need to think about whether I want you in my life at all,” she said flatly.
Then she slid into the driver’s seat, closed the door, and drove away without looking back.
And Dane, ferocious and powerful alpha, stood in her headlights like a man with no idea how to stop himself from losing everything he wanted.