Chapter 5 #3
“Okay, fine,” Beth conceded. “She took me flying around the sound in a seaplane. We saw a handful of humpback whales and a ton of sea lions. The weather was great.”
“And?” Lily pressed.
Beth laughed. “And there won’t be a second date.”
“What? Why not?” Lily sat forward, her leg shifting and nearly falling off the pile of precariously stacked pillows elevating it.
“Because not every date leads to a second date, love. And that’s okay.” Her gaze shifted to Sarah, who was still looking at her over the rim of her glasses. Beth stood, brushing invisible lint from her shorts. “Do you have everything packed downstairs?” she asked Lily.
Lily didn’t answer, her attention on her phone. Sarah nudged Lily with her foot, making her look up. “Hey, what was that for?” she asked.
“I asked you a question and you didn’t answer,” Beth said. “She was getting your attention. Who’s so important?” She already knew the answer.
Lily smirked, a hint of a blush tinging her cheeks. “It’s Wren. We haven’t been able to catch up in a few days since her schedule has been insane. But she finally has a break in all her interviews and training to FaceTime, and then she’s home next weekend. What was your question?”
“Is your bag for Mom’s ready to go?” Beth repeated.
“Yup, all set. There’s a bag and a backpack.”
Sarah rose from her spot on the couch, taking a moment to stretch. “I’ll help you,” she offered, heading toward the hallway before Beth could say no.
Together, they moved down the hallway towards the basement staircase. Beth was aware of Sarah’s proximity beside her—an oddly grounding presence even after everything that they had been through. They moved easily together, falling into an old rhythm that sometimes still surprised her.
At the bottom of the stairs, once they were entirely out of earshot of Lily, Sarah touched her arm lightly. “You okay? I’m sorry that the second date didn’t pan out. Her loss.” She smiled reassuringly.
Beth looked at her. “Yeah,” she said. Then quieter, “You were right. Dating is weird as hell. Especially after everything.”
Sarah let out an easy laugh. “God, it really is. Dating in your forties is not for the faint of heart. Is it asking too much to find a woman who is financially secure, emotionally intelligent, and has a modicum of their shit together?”
“I take it no luck with the matchmaker?” Beth asked, reaching for one of Lily’s bags as Sarah reached for the other.
“I wouldn’t know, haven’t been on a matchmaker date yet.
I rescheduled the last one because Nell and I had to go to Connecticut for a fundraiser,” she said with an unbothered shrug.
“But I promise, as soon as I do, you’ll be the first to know.
I need to commiserate with someone through all of this. At least we have each other, right?”
Each other.
Sarah’s comment rang in her head loud and clear. “Yeah, thank god for that,” Beth said, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
They reached the top of the stairs where Lily was waiting for them with her crutches. Sarah held a hand out, taking the bag from Beth.
“You sure? I can bring it to the car,” she offered.
“I’ve got it,” Sarah reassured with an easy grin.
Beth leaned in, hugging Lily, kissing the top of her head. “Be good. I’ll see you at the coffee shop on Tuesday?”
“Yeah, Wren will probably come too. She has an off day,” Lily said into her shoulder.
“Can’t wait to see her,” Beth said, releasing Lily and pulling the door open for the pair. “Have fun, you two.”
She watched from the porch as Sarah and Lily maneuvered their way down the steps to the car. Once Lily was situated, Sarah climbed into the driver’s seat, giving Beth a small wave as she pulled out of the driveway.
The house was quiet in the wake of their departure.
Beth stood there for a moment, her fingers still curled loosely around the doorknob, listening to the silence.
She was alone, something that had become a little too familiar.
She exhaled slowly as the weight of her day—the weight of the year, honestly—pressed in on her.
She had done it. She had gone on a date. Something that even a few weeks ago had felt so impossible. But she had done it. And she had even enjoyed herself, which surprised her most of all.
Beth made her way into the living room. Lily’s water glass still sat on the coffee table and the blanket and pile of pillows she had been using were strewn all over the couch.
She rolled her shoulders, bringing a hand to rub the back of her neck.
She should clean up. The thought ran through her head, but she ignored it.
A bath. That sounded like a much better use of her time.
Relaxation was always the answer—something warm and comforting.
Her feet guided her up the stairs and into her bedroom.
She glanced at the bed, still unmade. She had always been terrible at remembering to make it.
Jamie had made sure that the chore was taken care of.
She pushed that thought away as she turned the taps, setting the water temperature exactly the way she liked it, adding a few drops of her favorite lavender bubble bath, watching it rise and swirl as steam curled into the air.
A thought popped into her head.
She rose from the edge of the tub, crossing the room to the linen closet behind the door where she pulled out a small box she had tucked discreetly under a stack of clean towels. Why was she, a grown-ass woman, hiding her sex toys? Equal parts embarrassment and worry that Lily might find them.
Beth pulled the toy from its packaging. She read the back of the box, touting the device as waterproof and perfect for tantalizing clit stimulation, with four attachments and twenty settings.
Twenty settings? That felt excessive. Did anyone really use anything other than the one continuous vibration setting?
Reaching out, Beth twisted the tap again, cutting off the flow of water. She stepped out of her clothes, slid into the warmth of the bath, and settled in, the calming scent of lavender filling her nostrils.
The toy’s silicone was smooth against her fingers as she turned the small device over.
It looked like a kidney. On one side, two discreet buttons; on the other, a suction attachment.
Beth set the toy down on the edge of the tub, deciding to start with what she knew first as her right hand slipped beneath the surface of the water, grazing over her abdomen and lower until she found her clit, circling slowly.
She tried to focus on the present moment, on the feeling her fingers were delicately drawing out, but her mind drifted to images of Jamie, her safe place.
The known. But she shook her head. “Nope,” she whispered. “Not now.”
She tilted her head back, bubbles rising around her chest as she sank lower into the bath, reaching for another thought to help her on her quest to obtain her unreachable orgasm.
To her surprise, it was Sarah who came next.
Not Sarah from now, but Sarah from back then.
From that summer seven years ago, when everything between them was messy and raw and complicated and strangely electrifying.
When they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, even long after divorce papers had been signed.
It had all started with a flat tire and a panicked phone call.
Sarah had come to her rescue as she had always done.
Beth inhaled sharply at the memory of Sarah, still in her clothes from court, changing her tire on a back country road.
Beth’s fingers pressed insistently against her clit, remembering the way Sarah’s camisole had clung to her skin so perfectly.
She reached for the toy, fumbling with the buttons as it buzzed to life beneath the waterline.
Beth exhaled at the sensation as she let herself remember more.
Things like the way Sarah, when she had finished with the tire, stood, wiping her hands on a rag, her usual perfect hair tousled by the wind.
Beth’s hips tilted gently in the water, legs sliding apart as she let the memory continue.
Sarah had made some joke about her being a damsel in distress.
For the life of her, she couldn’t remember exactly what she said, but the comment had led to a heated roadside kiss she could still feel hot against her neck even all these years later.
A moan left her lips as she increased the toy’s speed.
The kiss hadn’t been where it had stopped.
No, at that point, once she and Sarah got started, there was absolutely no stopping them.
And that day, Beth had been left with her palms pressed against the hot surface of her Landrover, whispering Sarah’s name over and over as she came around Sarah’s skilled fingers.
The water in the tub shifted and Beth’s hips lifted slightly, remembering exactly how that moment felt.
A tingling sensation moved through her body.
Her pulse quickened with excitement as that feeling intensified.
She pushed the button on the toy again, increasing the speed, pressing it harder against her clit, the simultaneous sucking motion sending her senses into overdrive.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered hoarsely, her words echoing off the quartz surfaces of her bathroom.
She was so close to her orgasm, the closest she had been in months, and she wanted it.
She wanted it desperately, and when she slammed her eyes shut, giving her body over to the pleasure, it was Sarah’s cocky smirk she saw as the wave of pleasure crashed over her.
She dropped the vibrator onto the ground as her heart rate slowly returned to normal. Lenore had told her to let her body surprise herself, and well, that had definitely been a surprise—both the orgasm and the memory that got her there.
Beth took a deep breath, her body sliding down, slipping under the water, because what the fuck was she supposed to do with that?