Chapter 9
NINE
SARAH
OCTOBER
Sarah and Nell took on the rain-slicked stairs leading down to the Seattle ferry terminal side by side.
Nell had flown in the week before for an annual leadership summit, which had eaten up most of her free time, but, like always, she made a point of prioritizing one-on-one time with Sarah in the form of a private dining experience and a weekend together.
“Calling this ‘a few stairs’ is a bold interpretation of what, in reality, is actually a mountain,” Nell grumbled under her breath, the pointed heels of her Saint Laurent knee-high leather boots clicking against the damp pavement as they reached street-level.
“Five whole flights to ground level, Sarah. Really?”
“Be glad we’re going down, not up.” Sarah chuckled, wrapping an arm around Nell’s shoulders as they walked down the street. “To be fair, I did tell you to wear Seattle-appropriate footwear.”
“I thought you meant for the rain. I didn’t anticipate we’d be partaking in a stairmaster challenge.”
“What happened to that rule you had? What was it… Anticipate everything, react to nothing? This feels an awful lot like a reaction.” She squeezed Nell’s shoulders as Nell playfully batted her away with her free hand.
“I regret sharing those with you,” Nell said, not looking at her, that smirk on her dark lips giving her away.
“Liar.” Sarah smiled, bumping her hip into Nell’s.
They continued down the street toward the pier where the ferry was docked.
“What did you think of Renee Fairchild’s talk at the symposium yesterday?” Nell asked. “I thought she made some decent points about women taking ownership of male-dominated spaces.”
Sarah hummed her approval. Renee’s talk had been good, possibly a bit too elevated for the conference audience, but still thought-provoking to those of the right caliber.
Nell had introduced her to Renee for the first time at a party in Las Vegas when Sarah had accompanied Nell as her plus one.
Since that first introduction, Sarah had always gotten the sense that Renee wasn’t her biggest fan.
“I thought her talk was good, if a little idealistic given the current geopolitical climate, but it still had sustenance,” Sarah said, keeping her eyes on the sidewalk ahead of them.
“And,” Nell pressed her for more.
She shot Nell a glance. “You know I’m on the fence about Renee. There’s something…” She searched for the right words. “Closed off about her. You know? Kind of cold, but she hides it well. That political media training has certainly paid off.”
Nell grinned at her response. “That was my first impression of her, too. Renee is an acquired taste. Her upfront ambition can be a little off-putting, but she grows on you. I promise,” she said, slipping her hands into her long, dark brown leather jacket.
“Didn’t you two have dinner last month? What was that about?” Sarah had tried to ask Nell about that dinner the day after it happened, but Nell had shut her down, saying she would fill her in when the time was right. Which was incredibly annoying, but also so very Nell.
Nell pursed her lips together, stopping on the sidewalk, and Sarah stopped with her. “I’m not sure it’s time to loop you in fully.” She looked at Sarah with steely eyes. She knew Nell well enough to know that if she had a plan in mind, it was best that Sarah let her do her thing.
“Well, whenever it is time, I’m waiting with bated breath over here. Promise me it’s nothing too out there.”
“Where would be the fun in that?” Nell smirked as they approached the terminal, but Sarah held out her arm, stopping Nell. “What is it?”
Sarah nodded to two people standing at the base of the stairs leading up to the ticketing area. One of whom had blond hair she’d recognize anywhere.
“It’s Beth,” Sarah said, gesturing with her chin towards the pair of women ahead of them.
She watched Beth over Nell’s shoulder, intrigued. Sarah didn’t recognize the woman Beth was with, but Beth seemed to be enjoying herself, laughing at something the woman had just said, a hand on her forearm. Sarah could almost feel the heat of the gesture on her own skin.
Nell looked over her shoulder at the exact moment the woman leaned in and placed a kiss on Beth’s lips.
“Oh, well—that’s…” Nell’s voice trailed off as she turned back to face Sarah, watching her with those assessing eyes.
Sarah’s stomach clenched, the unfamiliar feeling of jealousy rising inside of her like a hot wave in a way she had only experienced a handful of times before. Why was that happening now? She shouldn’t be staring. She looked away, not wanting to invade this private moment for Beth.
“Are you okay?” Nell asked, concern in her voice as she rested a hand on Sarah’s bicep.
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
Nell raised a sharp eyebrow, pressing her lips together, forming an even thinner line.
“I moved on, Nell. You know that. Beth is free to see whomever she wants to. She’s dating. I’m dating. We’re good,” Sarah supplied, but the words felt half-hearted as she said them, and she wasn’t quite sure why.
“Sure, whatever you say.” Nell looped her arm through Sarah’s as they turned, moving towards the stairs. “It’s a public sidewalk; she can’t hog it all for a makeout session,” she said dryly.
But by the time they reached the bottom of the stairs, Beth and her date had disappeared, each heading off in different directions, which was somehow comforting to Sarah.
Sarah scanned their passes, and together they boarded the boat. As they walked through the interior of the ship, she spotted Beth sitting alone in one of the booths.
Beth looked up as they drew closer, her delight instantly playing on her lips when she recognized them.
“Nell! Sarah! Hey.” Her smile was bright.
She was absolutely radiating that quiet power Sarah had known was there all along.
There was that damn twinge pulling in her chest again, but this time she knew it wasn’t jealousy.
It was more familiar than that—it was the feeling of enamorment that had only ever been tied to one person—Beth.
But this time it had completely snuck up on her because what the hell was that about?
“Mind if we join you?” Nell asked.
“Please.” Beth motioned to the seat across from her.
Sarah slid across the bench first, positioning herself face-to-face with Beth. She swallowed hard, meeting her eyes and smiling quickly before glancing out the window at the downtown Seattle Skyline.
“How long are you in town, Nell?” Beth asked, crossing one denim-clad leg over the other, foot bouncing slightly.
Over the two and a half years Sarah and Nell had dated, Beth and Nell had developed a friendship of sorts.
Sarah hesitated even to call it that. It was more like they were two planets that happened to orbit the same sun.
She couldn’t think of two people less likely to seek out friendship with each other than Nell and Beth.
“Flying out on Sunday. I had a leadership conference in town this week and I promised Sarah some quality time over the weekend.”
“We’re going to try that goat yoga place, you know, the one we were talking about the other week that Lily found?” Sarah added.
“Sounds like a fun time,” Beth said, smiling.
“Anything exciting for you this weekend?” Nell asked.
“Nope, I picked up another Saturday shift at the Grumpy Goat, and other than the date I had tonight, I’m afraid it’s a pretty quiet weekend for me. Might try and paint this weekend.”
Sarah’s eyes snapped up at that mention, surprised, given Beth’s wine-confession the week before that she hadn’t painted anything since Jamie’s death.
“How was your date? Anything promising?” Nell asked, making Sarah’s head whip around to stare at her because what the hell, Nell. Really?
Beth grinned, a faint blush tinting the high points of her freckled cheeks.
“It was a great one tonight. I had a lot of fun, and we’re going to see each other again next weekend.
She’s a photographer, so we spent a good portion of our date talking about art.
It was nice to connect with someone on that level again. ”
“There’s something really special about that spark that comes with shared passions,” Nell said smoothly.
“There is, isn’t there?” Beth, still smiling, looked at Sarah. “You okay, Sar? You’re usually not this quiet.”
“Yup, all good,” Sarah said in a way that sounded nothing like her. “So—uh, painting this weekend?” she asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Beth’s “great” date.
“Eh, we’ll see. The ideas are there, but I’ve been getting hung up on the execution portion.”
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do. To, you know, help,” Sarah said sincerely.
The grainy voice announcing their arrival crackled over the ship’s intercom, and the three of them rose from their spots, making their way to the exit to disembark. They walked together to the parking lot where Beth got into her car, and Nell and Sarah got into theirs, going their separate ways.
Nell reached out, turning down the volume of the Alicia Keys album Sarah had put on for her. “Remember how you said you moved on from Beth? You’re so full of shit. What’s the plan, Gallagher?”
Sarah had no fucking clue.
That Sunday afternoon, after Sarah had dropped Nell off at the airport, she was out around town running errands when she passed by a familiar art supplies store.
She recognized the logo purely because it had been Beth’s go-to store for years and appeared on their joint credit card bill as a recurring charge.
She flicked her blinker on and turned into the parking lot.
Inside the store, Sarah pushed a blue plastic cart up and down aisle after aisle of semi-familiar-to-unfamiliar art supplies.
She obviously recognized the basics, but art had never really been her thing.
What she lacked in right-brained-ness, she made up for in left-brained linear thinking and analysis.