Chapter 12
TWELVE
SARAH
JANUARY
Where are you? The paperwork said we needed to be fifteen minutes early. I’m in the waiting room with Mama.
Sarah 10:44 AM
Getting on the elevator. I still have one minute.
Sarah pressed the small circular button to call the elevator that would whisk her up to the 22nd floor. She, Beth, and Lily were meeting with Dr. Mel to discuss the next steps for Lily’s rehabilitation.
She found Beth and Lily tucked away in a corner of the waiting room.
Lily’s knee was bouncing rapidly, Beth sitting beside her, flipping absent-mindedly through a real estate magazine.
Beth glanced up as Sarah approached, that warm, tender smile Sarah couldn’t resist pulling at the corners of her mouth.
“Okay, good, you’re here,” Lily said, shoulders rolling back, relaxing into her chair.
“Lils, I’m perfectly on time. Exactly fifteen minutes early.” Sarah tapped the watch on her wrist, sliding into the open seat next to Beth.
“I meant to give you a heads up,” Beth mumbled, her voice low, tilting her head in Lily’s direction. “We’re having a high anxiety day.”
“I can still hear you, you realize that, right?” Lily grumbled, her ponytail swishing as she whipped her head around, glaring at them in indignation.
“Just filling your mom in, love.” Beth’s voice was calm as she maneuvered Lily’s surliness. When it came to Lily, Beth had always had endless patience—a quality Sarah had worked so hard to build and maintain. Patience had never been something that came easily to her.
“You would be anxious, too, if your entire career was on the line. If I don’t get cleared for unrestricted return to sport today, I’m officially behind on my rehab schedule.” Lily waved her tablet, showing the impressive spreadsheet she had made that tracked her progress week by week.
A door near the check-in desk opened and a nurse in deep purple scrubs stepped out. “Lily Gallagher?” he called, drawing their attention.
They stood, Lily looking between them before sticking her hand out in front of her. “We’re the Gallagher Girls.” She smiled sweetly, eyes bright as she looked expectantly at Beth.
Beth immediately picked up on what Lily was doing, placing her hand on top of Lily’s. “Together forever.”
Sarah grinned as Beth looked to her with glittering eyes; she was next in the family chant. “Us against the world.”
“Always,” they said in unison, raising their hands.
Lily giggled, moving towards the nurse, who held the door open for them. “The family chant still needs work, but it’s getting less lame.”
Two hours and approximately five hundred questions from Lily later, they stood in the lobby of the downtown Seattle office building that housed Dr. Mel’s office.
Lily clutched a stack of papers in her hand, all indicating her progress and granting her the all clear to return to sport, pending one psych readiness evaluation.
“Holy crap,” Lily said, releasing a long sigh of relief.
Beth slipped an arm around Lily, pulling her in and squeezing her shoulders. “Your mom and I are so proud of you,” she said, glancing at Sarah.
Sarah was momentarily captivated by the way the cool, gray winter sun filtered through the towering glass windows, catching Beth’s eyes and turning them into tiny disco balls glittering in the light.
“Do you want me to schedule the evaluation appointment for you?” Sarah offered, quickly tearing her gaze away from Beth.
“No, I can do it.” Lily hugged Beth, then turned to hug her. “I’m going to catch the bus to go meet Wren and Dylan. They finally found a common interest—rebuilding old computers. They’re at a thrift shop on Capitol Hill.”
“Bye, love. Tell Dylan I’m still on the hunt for that Union Jack badge for the car. She’ll know what I mean.” Beth squeezed Lily in another hug.
“Bye, sweetie,” Sarah said as Lily slipped into the revolving doors, then out onto the street. “So.” She smiled, turning towards Beth. “Heading home? Happy to share a car to the ferry.”
Sarah was trying her best to keep things light with Beth, especially after how things had played out over the holidays.
That almost-kiss had sent her spiraling, determined to try and understand how she and Beth had gotten back here—back to this murky in-between space they repeatedly found themselves in.
She had looked at the situation from every angle she could think of, picking it up, moving it side-to-side and upside-down, always coming back to the same conclusion.
She was falling in love with Beth again, and that scared the shit out of her.
They needed to talk. Sarah knew that. If it were anyone else, she would face things head-on. Clear, direct communication had always been her preferred method, but with Beth, that had always been challenging.
“I’m actually heading to the gallery. I told Sean I would swing by today to work a little bit in the studio there.” Beth grinned, shifting her bag on her shoulder. “But hey, maybe I’ll see you on the ferry on Friday? We always seem to run into each other on date night. Have you noticed that?”
A date? But you were just trying to kiss me two weeks ago. The words ran through her mind as she tried to eliminate any signs of outward confusion. So Beth was still dating?
“Oh yeah, now that you point it out, we do, don’t we.
That’s too funny,” Sarah said, playing off her discomfort.
“I, uh, don’t currently have anything lined up for Friday, but who knows.
Janet may call with a millionaire tech startup founder who wants to wow me.
” She forced a smile, cringing at her poor attempt at a joke that landed flatly.
Beth cocked her head to the side, giving her a long, assessing look. “Well, if I see you, I see you, I guess.” She shrugged, pulling her hood up and heading through the circular door.
Jesus Christ, Sarah. What was that?
That Friday, Sarah found herself tucked away at a secluded table in an art gallery turned high-end sushi restaurant, sitting across from a woman Janet had excitedly emailed her about the day before.
For the life of her, Sarah was having a hard time understanding exactly what Janet had seen in these women she had been setting Sarah up with for the better part of four months.
It was a mystery, what made her think any of them would be ideal matches for Sarah.
And that included the woman currently sitting across from her.
Sarah excused herself to go to the bathroom, but as soon as she was out of sight of the table, she pivoted towards the bar.
The sooner she could get out of this date, the better.
She didn’t really know why she had said yes to it when Janet called, other than that Beth had mentioned she had a date planned for this weekend.
She needed to clear her head, needed to go home and think about what to do. Sarah was lost, unsure what to do with the feelings for Beth she thought she had so carefully tucked away. She had stopped that almost-kiss for a reason. But then she had said right now, unconsciously leaving the door open.
“Hi,” Sarah said warmly to the woman behind the bar. “Can I please pay for my table, but leave the tab open in case my date wants anything for dessert?”
“Of course.” The woman took Sarah’s card from her outstretched hand, thankfully without asking questions.
Sarah’s phone vibrated in her hand. Glancing down, she saw Beth’s name on her screen.
Beth 8:23 PM
Scratch that. I won’t be on the ferry later tonight. Got stood up, on my way home now. Catch up sometime this week? Hope your date’s going well.
Sarah’s pulse quickened. Re-reading Beth’s text, excitement rose in her chest the way it had started doing again whenever she and Beth talked. “Actually, on second thought, can you add an order of the lavender mochi to go?” She smiled, taking her credit card back, sliding it snugly into her wallet.
In record time, Sarah went to the bathroom and returned to her table to inform her date that she had to go, blaming it on a sudden onset of fictional StanCorp business.
She knew it was an asshole thing to do. She stopped only to grab her to-go order from the bar before slipping out of the restaurant and into the preordered car.
Her fingers moved quickly across her phone screen, firing off a text to Nell.
Sarah 8:31 PM
It’s time to fire Janet Starr—no more dates. I’m done. Thanks, but no thanks.
She grinned as Nell’s name instantly appeared on her screen.
“Be more specific,” Nell said flatly. Sarah knew she was multi-tasking. Given the time difference, they were entering peak Nell working hours.
“I’m done. I’m taking myself off the market.
I need clarity from Beth. I need to know what’s going on there, and I’m either about to do something that gets me exactly what I want, or something incredibly stupid that I’ll regret.
” Her voice was sharp, decisive in a way that surprised even herself.
It wasn’t off-putting; it was the sound of her setting her mind to something.
“You are Sarah fucking Gallagher, you don’t have regrets,” Nell reminded her. “You make choices, and you live with those outcomes.”
“Damn right,” Sarah agreed, hanging up the phone. Leave it to Nell to give her the most efficient pep talk using the fewest words possible.
The car dropped her off directly in front of the ferry terminal.
She moved quickly up the steps, hurrying to the boarding area.
She was cutting it close, the last call for passengers ringing through the terminal at exactly the moment she scanned her pass.
Sarah slowed, taking a moment to collect her breath and, more importantly, her thoughts.
Beth was on that boat, and they were finally going to talk the way they should have months ago when all of these feelings between them began bubbling to the surface again.