Chapter 18 #3
“But it’s intriguing as hell, right?” Beth arched a brow, sliding her sunglasses down over her eyes again. “Keep talking to me about it, okay? Don’t write off the opportunity because you think I wouldn’t move to D.C. for you. I’m open to the possibility.”
Sarah pursed her lips, facial muscles working overtime to contain the excited smile that was currently fighting its way through.
“Okay then, we’ll keep talking about it.”
Sarah turned the wheel of the car, pulling into a steep driveway. At the top sat a small, pale yellow weathered bungalow overlooking the tops of pine trees to the ocean beyond. She threw the car in park before turning to face Beth.
“I’m proud of us. All this communication feels good, doesn’t it?” She grinned.
“You might be onto something…”
Sarah tilted her head in the direction of the house as she said, “Let’s go get our girl and make sure she’s okay. It’s been a weird twenty-four hours.”
Sarah slid out of the driver’s seat, circling the back of the car to join Beth, who was waiting for her by the front pathway.
Together they moved towards the front door.
Beth rifled through her bag, searching for her keys as Sarah looked up at the house, studying it further.
In the time that Jamie had been so tightly intertwined with their family, Sarah had never been here.
To Sarah’s knowledge, Jamie’s house had sat empty for the last year since the woman renting it had moved out. Sarah had helped Jamie solidify the renters’ contracts and plan for the property’s fate after her passing as a last favor to her.
Upon closer inspection, Sarah spotted peeling paint on the cedar siding, worn by repeated days of wind and rain, and noted that one of the house numbers had gone missing.
She added that to a maintenance checklist in her head as Beth pulled out her keys at the same time the front door opened, whining on its hinges, revealing Lily standing on the other side.
“Took you two long enough,” Lily called over her shoulder, her ponytail swishing as she turned, moving back into the house.
Sarah shot Beth a look they both understood meant, Into the lion’s den we go.
The inside of the house smelled like stale air. A single love seat sat in the middle of the room, a discarded white sheet on the floor beside it, next to a backpack Sarah recognized as Lily’s.
“We’re not doing the whole cool and detached thing right now,” Sarah said, her voice dropping into that low, authoritative frequency of hers.
“You took a car that wasn’t yours and took off.
Again. I thought your mom and I made it pretty clear that running away isn’t a good option for how to deal with your stress. ”
Lily turned, her jaw set, intense gaze looking between her and Beth’s worried expression.
“It’s not even like that. I left my location on.
I knew you’d see it. I just… I needed to breathe somewhere that wasn’t so…
tied up in everything. I needed some time alone.
So I came here.” Lily crossed her arms over her body, holding herself.
She turned her head away from where Sarah and Beth were still standing just inside the front door.
“I know what you did for Wren, Mom. I know it was your idea to ship her off to New York. You just handled her like…like…”
“Like what, Lily? What would you have preferred I do?” Sarah asked, a defensive heat flaring in her chest.
Lily huffed, but didn’t answer her.
Sarah caught Beth’s eye momentarily before she continued. “I saved her career. I made it so she had options, and I would do the same for you if it had been you in her position, Lils.”
Lily turned her head, quickly wiping her eyes, her hand still wrapped in gauze from the night before. She still wouldn’t look at the two of them. “This is all just so fucked up,” she grumbled.
“Language,” Sarah breathed, exhaling through her nose.
Beth took a hesitant step towards Lily, reaching out to gently place a hand on her arm. “I know this all feels really big and serious right now. Your mom and I are here to help in whatever way you need from us, but we can’t do that when you disappear the minute things get hard.”
Lily looked down at her bandaged hand, the fight draining itself from her posture, her shoulders dropping.
“I’m sorry. I know. I just… I’m upset. And I’m tired…
and there’s no food here, and I’m starving.
” She leaned forward, resting her forehead against Beth’s shoulder as Beth wrapped her in a hug.
“I was going to go to that sandwich place down the road, the one Jamie was obsessed with.”
Sarah jiggled her keys in her hand. “I’ll take you. I’m blocking your car in, anyway.”
Beth confirmed her order with them before Lily brushed past Sarah, moving towards her car.
“Wish me luck,” Sarah joked, her face falling when she noticed the way Beth’s expression had shifted slightly as her gaze swept around the house. “Are you going to be okay here alone?”
Beth put on a smile—not her real one. This was the one she used for moments when she was still deciding how she felt about something.
“Yeah. I’ll be okay.” She waved a hand. “It’s—being here…
Jamie… But the feeling will pass, it always does.
It’s probably good that I get a few minutes alone with all of this. ”
Sarah lingered for a moment, glancing over her shoulder towards the driveway.
Beth spoke again, reassuring her. “Really, Sar, I’m good. Go.”
“Okay, if anything pops up—anything at all—text me. We won’t take too long.” Sarah turned on her heel, joining Lily in the car a moment later.
Lily directed her on how to get to the sandwich shop, pointing out different spots along the route, sharing memories she had tied to them—memories made between Lily, Beth, and Jamie, ones that didn’t include her.
Sarah swallowed that uncomfortable feeling as she pulled into the parking lot of a small, unassuming building situated on a busy Main Street lined with identical gray side-shingled facades with light blue trim.
The sound of gulls echoed in the distance, and salty air whipped around them as she followed Lily into the shop.
Lily stepped up to the counter, placing their sandwich orders. Her uneasy energy was even more evident as they stepped to the side to wait for their food, bouncing on her toes with her hands shoved deep in her jacket pockets.
“Let’s take a break from that,” Sarah said, reaching out and placing a hand on Lily’s arm, effectively stilling her movements.
Lily’s eyes met hers, dark and stormy. “Wren’s going to rehab,” she whispered in confirmation.
“Yeah, sweetie, Wren’s going to rehab.” Sarah slid her arm around her daughter, holding her tightly.
A man behind the counter called their number.
Sarah reached forward to take the paper bag, then turned and led them back to the car.
She slid into the front seat, firing off a quick text to Beth letting her know they had procured the food and were on their way back to the house before sliding her phone into the cup holder.
She pushed the gear shift into reverse, looking into her backup camera as Lily’s voice came out in a question.
“I did the right thing… Calling you guys for help with Wren, right? She’s probably so mad at me right now. She texted me a bunch this morning, but I only read the first one about rehab…. Have you talked to her since last night?” Lily asked with a sheepish grimace.
The steady click of the turn signal filled the car before Sarah responded. “I talked to her for a few minutes this morning.”
“Did she sound like she was mad at me?”
The car rolled to a stop at a T-shaped intersection on a road running parallel to the Pacific Ocean. Layers of blue stacked and diffused by misty clouds made it nearly impossible to tell where the sky ended and water began.
“Which way?” Sarah asked, thankful for the moment to think.
“Left.”
“I don’t think Wren is mad at you, sweetie. If anything, she thinks you’re mad at her.”
“I am,” Lily snapped, crossing her arms, staring out the window as they zipped down the curved road leading back to Jamie’s house. “Or at least, I was last night.” Her shoulders sank in defeat along with her voice. “I just—”
An automated voice interrupted Lily’s train of thought as a text appeared on the in-car computer screen. “New message from ‘Beth.’ See you soon. Miss my favorite girls already. Love you.”
Sarah froze as the message was read, her pulse whooshing in her ears.
How had she been dumb enough to forget that she had set up her car to auto-read her incoming texts?
Her fingers flexed around the cool leather steering wheel as she glanced at Lily, waiting for her response to Beth’s message.
Maybe she wouldn’t notice. Yeah, Sarah could definitely spin this in a way that made it look like she and Beth were just friends…
But that wasn’t what they were. They had never truly been just friends.
“What. The. Fuck,” Lily said slowly.
“Language, Lily,” Sarah responded reflexively.
“Don’t ‘language’ me now. I think right now is a pretty good time to use that word because WHAT THE FUCK!
” The pace of Lily’s words picked up as Sarah watched her connect more and more of the dots aligning her and Beth.
“You’re who Mama’s been seeing? Ew, that was you in the bathroom a few weeks ago?
Oh my god—oh my god… How long? What about Jamie?
Wait, you’ve been so weird hiding your phone the past few weeks… Ew, do you guys sext?”
They came to another stop. Sarah knew they were close to the house—she recognized the intersection—but she wasn’t confident which direction to take. She glanced in the rearview mirror; there were no cars behind her.
She took a deep breath before speaking. “Which question do you want an answer to first? And right or left?”
“Left. Mom, you’re not denying anything…”