12. Carina
TWELVE
CARINA
“What am I doing?” I ask myself as I sit in my idling car in the harbor parking lot.
From what Mia said in the store, Henrik would be back from crab fishing today.
With simple math, I concluded an estimated arrival time.
Seeing Mia and her parents walk past my car fifteen minutes ago confirmed my suspicions.
Pulling my hat on and wrapping my knitted scarf around my neck, I exit my car and walk down to the slip where the FV Brina will dock. The familiar slap of my Xtratufs on the wooden walkway calms my eager heart. I exhale a shaky breath.
I’m not here to finally introduce myself to the man who’s invaded my dreams for far too long.
No, I want a glimpse of him to ease the worry my heart has been plagued with for weeks since he left for the crabbing season.
The thought of him not being safe stirs up all my fears.
My stomach clenches and my heart beats wildly as panic overtakes my brain.
He’s fine. Rolling my tight shoulders, I force several deep breaths through my pinched lips. He’s fine.
Wringing my hands, I move closer to the group of awaiting family members.
My breath catches when I get a glimpse of the boat.
Most of the crew is on the bow, waving to the gathered crowd.
I recognize Edgar. He looks like Henrik, but he’s not as stocky or handsome.
Henrik is rugged. Solid. My body heats thinking about his strong, thick thighs, massive chest, and large hands.
As soon as I see him and know he’s safe, I’ll leave, I tell myself for the twentieth time today. This morning, I woke with my heart in my throat and feeling jittery, like I’d had five cups of coffee before I even got out of bed.
I’m so nervous. It took me three tries to put my hair in braids this morning, even though I’ve been successfully braiding hair since I was six.
My clothes? I won’t even think about how many outfits I tried on.
I’ll deal with Mr. Clothing Pile when I get home.
I just want to look perfect in case Henrik notices me. He won’t.
Anxiety creeps in as the crew disembark. Where is he?
Not wanting to explain why I’m there to Mia if she notices me, I leave without seeing him.
I make my way back to the parking lot. Henrik is safe.
I may not have seen him with my own eyes, but that was his boat and his crew.
As captain, he has more responsibilities than his crew.
It’s no wonder he wasn’t on deck with the others.
A strong wind gust comes from nowhere and knocks my hat off my head.
I spin to pick it up off the ground, and my gaze sweeps over the Berg family.
There, standing with his back to me, is Henrik.
Safe and sound. “Thank you,” I whisper to the sky before picking up my hat and shuffling to my car undetected.
Aweek later, during my mini work vacation, I stop by the grocery store to grab a few ingredients for my meal prep for the upcoming week. My mind’s preoccupied when I unintentionally run into someone.
“Oh no. I’m so sorry,” I say. When it finally registers who I bumped into, I see it’s Mia. My body instantly relaxes, and I let out an embarrassed laugh.
“I think we’re on the same schedule. We only seem to run into each other when shopping for groceries.” I chuckle.
She laughs. “You’re right. It’s so good to see you. I meant to text you, but with Christmas break starting soon, work got incredibly busy.”
Smiling, I reply, “It’s really no problem.”
She smiles back. “I appreciate that, but I’d still love to catch up. Are you free for a cup of coffee?”
“R-right now?” I ask, completely off guard. I’d already planned my day. It included the grocery store, meal prep, and chores. Not glamorous or fun by any means, but still a necessity.
“Yes. The only thing waiting for me at home is lesson plans for the new year, and those aren’t a rush.” Taking in Mia’s hopeful grin, I can’t say no.
“Oh, lesson plans, that sounds like fun,” I tease. Glancing at my phone, I see it’s only nine in the morning. “I have time for a cup of coffee.”
Mia claps her hands together excitedly. “Do you want to meet at Solid Grounds in about thirty minutes?”
“That sounds great. I’ll see you there,” I tell her, and we head off in different directions.
I finish my shopping, check out, and drop my groceries at home. I make it to Solid Grounds only eight minutes late.
The inside of the coffeehouse is cozy and warm.
The scents of coffee, vanilla, and chocolate float through the air.
My stomach growls. After placing my order for a large white chocolate mocha, I join Mia in the soft, oversized faux leather chairs in a corner.
I momentarily hesitate, overtaken with nerves because I don’t want to mess this up.
Feeling shy and awkward, I wonder what we should talk about.
I don’t want to bore her if I get preoccupied talking about something she finds uninteresting.
Instead of melting into the comfy atmosphere, my mind is busy fixating on what questions she’ll ask and what I’ll say.
From what I’ve experienced, Mia is kind and funny.
She’s just the type of woman I’d love to be friends with.
Getting comfortable, she unwraps her red and green plaid scarf from around her neck and then drapes it over the arm of the chair before removing her black peacoat.
Sitting down, she eyes me. “From the lesson plan comment, you can probably guess I’m a teacher.
I teach second grade. I heard you work at KFCR. What do you do there?”
Feeling my smile grow larger, I answer. “I’m a fishery and marine biologist. Currently, I’m working in their education division.
I’m hoping to help NOAA and the state study the opilio crab.
We’re trying to figure out why billions of them vanished, and we’re looking to see if the fishery will recover. ”
Her blue eyes dance with excitement. “I bet Henrik and Eirik would love to talk to you! With the canceling of multiple snow crab seasons, it’s affected our families greatly.”
Focusing on what she said, I murmur, “I bet it has. The crabs were the reason I came back to Kodiak. Going to school in San Diego, naturally, I fell in love with their marine life. Studying it was amazing, but when I heard what was happening here, I felt like I needed to come home.”
“Have they figured out what happened?”
Leaning back in my chair, I take a drink of my delicious mocha before answering.
“It’s difficult to say. When we analyze the data, it looks like in 2018, there was a record number of opilio crabs caught.
Then, studies showed the number of crabs decreasing by the billions each year after that.
In four years, almost ten billion crabs vanished.
We think the major contributor is global warming and the temperature of the ocean raising.
That’s it in a nutshell.” Am I oversharing?
Embarrassed, I feel my cheeks grow hot, and I duck my head, apologizing for boring her with all my crab facts.
Mia laughs. “Carina, stop apologizing. You aren’t boring me. I live for random facts. And, bonus, they have to do with my family’s livelihood, so in my book it’s a win-win. Heck, maybe I’ll even learn something my dad or brother don’t know.
“Plus, what you said is incredibly interesting. I guess I never really stopped to think about it. As long as my family was catching crab, I assumed they would always be there. Now things have changed, and I see my family and friends struggling. It’s heartbreaking how it’s affected our community.”
I nod my head. “I one hundred percent agree.” A chill runs through my body at the thought that this fishery may never recover. Needing warmth, I bring my cup to my lips and drink my coffee.
Needing a less depressing topic, I ask about teaching.
After she tells me about her second-grade class, we move on to questions about whether there’s anyone from high school we’re still in touch with.
There are hardly any of our classmates still in Kodiak.
She gives me a couple of names, and I recognize them, but I was never friendly with them.
One person, Jen Smith, I remember. She was nice, but she and Mia were in the grade above me, so I never got to know them.
In truth, during high school, I was a loner and didn’t have many friends.
During our conversation, I feel so comfortable talking to Mia. She’s sweet, caring, funny, and someone I can see being friends with for a long time.
Feeling bold, I lean in and ask, “Now for the hard questions. Do you have a boyfriend?”
Her outgoing laughter and rapidly shaking head give me her answer. “How about you?”
I shake my head and take a drink of coffee.
She waggles her eyebrows. “Did you leave someone heartbroken in San Diego?”
I snort my mocha. That’s hilarious. Coughing, I try to remember how to breathe. Once I’ve regained my composure, I mutter, “Definitely not.”
Her mouth drops open. “How is that possible? You’re gorgeous. Men should be lined up around the block for you. With your perfect blonde hair, light blue eyes, and amazing curves I’d kill for, I’m shocked.”
“I hate to disappoint you, but no one is pounding down any doors to get to me. Now you.” I pause. “Are you sure there aren’t fellow teachers, Coast Guard servicemen, or crab fishermen who caught you in their sights?” Watching her closely, I see her eyes widen before she quickly looks away.
“I’m not dating anyone either.” Her usual cheerful tone shifts to matter-of-fact. That can’t be right. What about last time? When she blushed every time she mentioned Eirik.