Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ZANE
Devin’s words die away into the silence of the barn as I watch him walk away.
I want to call him back, but I can’t. Now we’re home it does feel different.
Everything feels more complex. At the cabin I only had myself to think about.
Now there’s everyone else, and I can’t just indulge in whatever I want.
I try to put it out of my mind but his words keep coming back to me.
Of course I’m not discarding him, but I need time, much more time.
I finish the mower maintenance and start the engine to check everything works.
Feeling restless, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to start.
I drive out of the barn and into the first hay field.
Driving the mower, keeping the cutting lanes straight and neat takes focus, but it’s also soothing.
The repetitive nature of it lets me think, and I know I need to talk to Nova first.
I stay out until dusk, and when I return, Nova has borrowed Arlene’s car and gone to visit Sandy.
He doesn’t return until late. The next morning, he’s in the feed store alone as Devin has gone to his session in Sacramento.
In a way I’m glad he’s not around, though it reminds me that I still need to find his replacement for when he’s gone.
After the first rush of customers there’s a lull, and I sit on a stack of full feed sacks.
“Would you be surprised or upset if I said I wanted to date someone?” I say. Nova puts down the broom he’s sweeping with and perches next to me.
“Upset? Of course not. But I’m surprised. I figured you were ace or aro or something.”
“What’s that?”
“Asexual and Aromantic. I thought you just weren’t into anyone, sexually or romantically. Like ever.”
“Oh, okay.” I chuckle. “A few weeks ago I might have agreed with you. But I am attracted to someone, I just needed to get to know them first.”
“Demi, then, that’s cool. Are you gonna tell me who?” he asks. I’m not sure of that term either, but I need to tell him now I’ve come this far.
“Devin.”
“Wow, lucky. He’s so hot.” Nova grins. “So, did you get it on at the cabin?”
“No! Nothing happened at the cabin. Well, not much anyway.”
“Actually, are you sure we’re talking about the same Devin? You know, dark eyes, dark beard, bulging muscles?”
“Yes,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Huh, it’s just that you’ve hardly been near him since you got back and he asked where you were yesterday. Doesn’t sound very romantic to me.”
“Well, I didn’t want to do anything until I’d talked to you.”
“Me? What’ve I got to do with anything? You do what you want, Zane. It’s your life,” he exclaims. “So you just blew him off? No wonder he looked so down when he left this morning.”
“I did not!” I exclaim and then stop, because that’s exactly what I did. “How did he look this morning?”
“Like his boyfriend let him down, big time.”
“I’m not his boyfriend,” I protest and Nova snorts.
“So what do I do?” I can’t believe I’m asking advice from my brother who is thirteen years younger than me.
But then, Nova has never been shy about his sexuality.
I don’t think he ever came out to me. It was just who he is.
I know he’s dated, not that he’s brought any boyfriends home, but I don’t even want to think about how experienced he might be. All I know is it’s more than me.
“Dude, first of all you apologize and then you make it up to him.”
“How?”
“Seriously? How would you like someone to show you that they’re putting you first?” He throws his head back in exasperation. I have no idea. My family comes first, always.
“Please help. I’ve never done this before,” I almost whine, and Nova chuckles.
“That’s obvious. For a start, you could try dinner. Take him out.”
“Thanks, Nova,” I say, and I push off from the sacks and walk across the yard.
“Zane!” Nova calls when I’m halfway to the barn, and I turn around. “Devin’s great, you’re lucky. Don’t mess it up.” I shake my head at him and get back to work. I have a few more hours until Devin’s due back from Sacramento.
I take care with what shirt I put on. Most of the ones I own are plaid, for working on the farm.
But I have a few plain ones, so I choose a green one.
I pull on some clean jeans and my best boots, and that’s about as smart as I get.
But then Devin didn’t seem to mind when I had four days of stubble, I hadn’t showered in as many days, and had a bang to the head, so I hope it’s enough.
My palms are sweaty as I drive to the lot outside the Foggy Inn, where the buses stop.
As I see the bus drive up the road, I get out of my truck and lean against it. It stops just opposite, and I watch as he comes down the steps and sees me. I smile and his eyes brighten slightly, enough to make my heart jump. He walks over to me.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey yourself.”
“I’m sorry for acting like a jerk. Can you forgive me? I wanna buy you dinner if you’ll let me.”
The corners of his mouth turn up and he nods. He walks round to the other side of the truck and climbs in.
“You spoke to Nova, then?”
“Yeah. He told me you were great, I was lucky, and not to mess it up.” I fasten my safety belt.
“I like your brother a lot.” Devin gives me his trademark grin, white teeth against his black beard, and my heart soars.
“Is the Blue Star diner okay? It’s not super fancy but the food is good.”
“Do I look like I frequent the finest French restaurants?” he says. “I don’t even have on a clean T-shirt and there you are, all smart and handsome looking.”
“You look handsome to me, whatever you’re wearing,” I reply.
“What about if I wasn’t wearing anything?” He smirks and my cock twitches. It surprises me so much I swerve and nearly crash the car.
“That was unfair,” I mutter, and Devin laughs.
“Relax, we’ll go at your pace. But I’m glad I can affect you that much.”
“Okay, but not while I’m driving, please.” Having narrowly missed an accident, I park outside the diner and try to bring my heart rate under control. Its pace is only partially due to the near miss.
“Sure, boss,” he says and winks at me.
We have to wait a few minutes for our booth, and I curse myself for not booking in advance. I had no idea it would be so busy on a Friday night, but it’s pretty obvious when I think about it. I’m such a noob at this.
“Sorry, we have to wait a few minutes,” I say to Devin, but he just smiles. Then I see a face I know.
“Hey, Soren,” I say and the guy drags his eyes from someone else who looks vaguely familiar.
“Zane! Hey, how’s it going? I’m sorry I haven’t been in. I uh . . .” He points at the guy he’s with. “Do you know Sam Moseley?”
I recognize the name but it takes me a few seconds. “Oh, wait, you run the pet store over in Hartsville?”
“That’s me.” The guy smiles.
“I run the feed store. I stock standard pet food, but if anyone needs anything specialized that I can’t get, I send them over to you.”
“Oh.” Sam smiles. “Thank you for that.”
“I always want to take care of my customers, even if it means sending them to someone else. Oh, I haven’t introduced Devin. He’s British and he works for me.” I flash Devin a grin, and I see Andrew give me a signal.
“Hey, our booth is available. We’ll see you around. It’s nice seeing you both again.”
“Cheers,” Devin says, and I lead him toward our table.
“They looked like they’re together,” Devin says as we settle into the booth. I look over at them, at the way Soren is gazing at Sam.
“I guess so.” I shrug and Devin smirks. He then wedges his knee against mine under the table and my heart starts beating faster again.
“How was my first attempt at a date?” I ask as I drive us back to the farm.
“Very good,” Devin replies. “Not that I have many to compare it with.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I laugh and he chuckles.
I pull into the yard and Devin turns to me.
“Do you want to come over to my place? It’s not fancy but it’s comfortable.”
“It doesn’t even have running water,” I reply
“Maybe I should take that up with the owner.” He smirks.
“I’ve heard he can be a stern guy,” I chuckle.
“I know he has a softer side,” he says, and I get a tingle all over my skin.
“Yes, I’d like to see your place,” I say and climb out of my truck. I follow him over to the barn and up the stairs. Once I’m through the door, my nerves are back. I’ve faced down bears and more than one rattlesnake, but this . . . this is scary.
I walk awkwardly round the room and then to the window where I stare out at the farmhouse. Devin puts on some music and comes over.
“Would you like to dance with me? It’ll help you relax.”
“That obvious, huh?” I ask and he smiles.
“A little.”
“I don’t know how to dance,” I say, but he pulls me close and starts moving. It’s easy to follow and I start to find some rhythm.
“Better?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper and lean down to kiss him. It’s soft and without urgency, and we keep moving, swaying to the country songs he’s selected.
“Can I take your shirt off?” he says softly, and I nod. He slowly undoes the buttons, his fingers slipping over my skin until my chest is revealed. I have a smattering of hair and he runs his fingers over it.
“I like this,” he murmurs and goosebumps run along my skin.
“Do you have hair?”
“What do you think?” He grins, and I desperately want to find out.
I tug at his T-shirt and he lifts his arms as I pull it off over his head.
Across his chest is a thick mat of black hair, which extends down across his stomach and disappears into the waistband of his jeans, teasingly promising more dark hair further down.
“Wow,” I say and touch his chest. I want to do more than that.
I want to feel it on my face. I walk him backwards to the bed and push him down so he’s sitting.
I kneel and rub my face in his hair, kissing him, and he leans back as I explore.
My lips find a nipple and I lick it, take it between my teeth and tug.
He groans filthily and my cock fills, pushing against the zip of my jeans.
I move to the other side and nip at the other one until he groans again.
“Fuck, Zane, that’s good.”
“I want to see where this goes.” I slip a finger into his waistband.
He doesn’t waste any time, he just toes off his boots and unbuttons his jeans, pulling them down to reveal a thick cock jutting out of a nest of jet-black hair.
I’ve never seen anyone’s cock outside of my own family, but his looks impressive.
“Holy wow!” I say, and he grins.
“Your turn.”
I stand and pull off my boots. Then I unzip my jeans, sighing with relief as I release my cock from where it was uncomfortable. He’s still sitting on the bed and my cock is level with his face.
“Not as big as yours,” I say, feeling a little embarrassed.
“It’s not a size contest. It looks pretty perfect to me.
” He grabs a hip and pulls me forward, and I only realize what he’s going to do a split second before his mouth engulfs the head.
The wet heat of his mouth sends shudders through me, and I look down at his glistening lips stretched around me as his tongue runs up and down.
“Fuck.” It comes out in a breathy whisper that spurs him on, and his head bobs up and down.
It’s the most intense sensation I’ve ever experienced, and my knees feel weak.
I take another look down and see he’s palming his own cock.
It’s a beautiful sight. He keeps up the perfect pressure, and I tangle my fingers in his hair as he takes me deeper, his beard scratching against my thighs and my balls.
I dig my fingers in, holding on to his head as I can’t move, I can’t even think, I just exist in this moment with his mouth working my cock.
My balls draw up and I know I’m close. My thighs shake, and he grips my hip harder, his own hand speeding up as my orgasm barrels through me, and I cry out.
He doesn’t stop, and I feel him jerk as he comes too.
He relaxes, and my softening cock slips out of his mouth. I still have my fingers twisted in his hair. I tip his head back, forcing him to look up at me, and I lean down and kiss his shining lips before releasing him. He rises and finds a cloth to wipe himself down with.
“Thank you, that was incredible,” I say, my voice a little hoarse. “Not that I have anything to compare it with.”
“Then I’ll definitely take that as a compliment,” he says with shining eyes. “It was a first for me too.”
I go to grab my shirt.
“Would you like to stay? My bed’s felt lonely without you by my side,” he says.
I glance quickly over at the farmhouse but make the decision easily enough. “I’d like that,” I reply and climb in beside him. There’s no place I’d rather be.