Chapter 9 Javonte
“Javonte, can you sign my shoe?” a teenager asks as he pulls his shoe off his foot.
This is never not going to be crazy to me, that people want me to sign their things with my name. This man has taken off his shoe. It’s not even my shoe. I can’t complain.
Fame is a blessing most of the time.
When people adore you and fawn over you, it is nice. I can’t lie. It strokes the ego in a way that I didn’t know anything could. People love me for what I do, and these people don’t know me at all. They just know what they see in the media and what they see in games.
But it’s nice to be adored.
So even though I’m supposed to be here with Zea, shopping because she wanted to shop, I stop and sign autographs for my fans.
After the first three, Zea gets annoyed. She’s sitting on a bench right now across from me, scrolling on her phone with that look on her face.
I’m going to do three more, and then we’re going to go.
I sign the young man’s shoe and give it back to him, and he walks away holding it with just one shoe on. It makes me laugh.
I chuckle as I sign the next T-shirt, and then finally someone’s arm.
That one’s weird.
I don’t understand signing body parts. Please don’t tattoo my name on your body. I do not give permission. I’ve never said that to anybody, but I really hope no one’s ever done that.
Once I’m finished, I look up and Zea is gone.
I scan the area and see her talking to Lily.
I feel sweat prickling my skin.
I want to walk over there, but I don’t want to walk over there. What am I going to say? “Hey, Lily...” and then what? I’ve got no game plan. I wasn’t expecting to see her here.
Zea is animated as she speaks.
I approach quietly and stand behind my sister.
Zea elbows me. “Look who’s here.”
I nod and smile at Lily, my mouth feeling heavy.
“Hey, Javonte,” she says. “How’s it going?”
I nod, mute for a second, then clear my throat. “Things are good. Just out shopping with my sister.”
She looks between the two of us and smiles. “Y’all look just alike.”
Zea nods. “Except I’m pretty.”
Lily laughs. “Of course. You’re the pretty version of him.”
“Well, what does that make me?” I ask.
“You,” Zea says. “It makes you you. Stop trying to make this about you. It’s about me. Main character.”
Lily bursts out laughing and looks at me with wide eyes, giving a little shrug like she doesn’t know what to do with her either.
“What are you getting into?” I ask her.
“I just needed a little retail therapy, so I bought a couple of things.” She motions towards Zea’s bags. “Not nearly as much as Miss Zea here.”
“My brother spoils me,” Zea says, leaning into me.
“Not by choice,” I say.
“You love me.”
“Of course I do. And that’s why I can’t tell you no.”
Lily makes eye contact with me, a small smile on her face.
“We don’t want to hold you up,” I tell her and tug Zea away.
“He misses you,” Zea whispers to her.
“Zea!”
“You know it’s true. You keep orbiting her, but when are you going to talk to her.”
Lily’s mouth falls open, and she laughs.
“Not right here.”
“He’s going to call you!” She calls out.
I look over my shoulder at Lily. She’s watching us walk away with a smile on her face.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Zea shrugs. “You’re moving too slow. You keep painting and moving tables. That’s not gonna get her back if you don’t say anything to her. When did you two last speak?”
“It’s been over a year.”
“Really? Why’d you break up?”
“I already told you.”
“You gave me a basic answer. What’s the real reason?”
We were all in VIP, vibing and drinking. I was hanging with the starting five, and Lily was with the wives and girlfriends. I thought we were all having a good night.
Then Lily tapped me on the shoulder. My song was on. I was in the zone, moving to the music. I thought she wanted to dance, but she told me Tank’s long-time girlfriend said something to her that she didn’t like.
At the time, it felt like middle school shit. Something small you could ignore and move past, but Lily didn’t see it that way.
She didn’t make a scene like any of the other women would have. She just left. I think she got a rideshare. I never asked.
I just accepted that she left and kept on having fun.
I shake my head. “I really messed that up.”
“Damn, I’d be cold to you too. That was raggedy.”
I frown at her. “Don’t you think I know that?”
I replay it in my mind a lot, thinking of the many ways I could’ve reacted.
“Have you apologized? Or do you think moving tables and chairs and popping up on her is the way to her heart?”
I stop walking. I hate how she’s right more than she’s wrong. Lily cut me off the one time I tried to talk to her. I haven’t tried since.
“Damn.”
If I talk to her, and she dismisses me, then what?
“Yeah, and don’t text her either. Call her on the phone. But don’t FaceTime without warning. That’s rude.”
“I know that.” I don’t even know what to say to Lily. And I’m not sure if she’ll answer my call. She has every right to send me to voicemail like I left her on read.
Zea was smiling widely when I dropped her off.. We even bought a couple of things for her mom, because why not? I’m in the business of making women happy these days.
But there’s one woman that I can’t seem to figure out anymore. I’m lost on how to approach or what to do about Lily.
I have her contact pulled up on my phone.
Zea is right. I need to call.
I haven’t spoken to her one-on-one, just the two of us, in over a year. That’s ridiculous. I gotta man up.
How do you say, I’m sorry I didn’t text you back a year ago?
I’m sorry I didn’t take you seriously a year ago.
Sorry I was stupid a year ago.
Because where do you go from there?
Why would she take me back? Why would she let me in her orbit again?
I can’t just sit around and think about her and keep popping up wherever she is, because that is stalkerish. Zea is right about everything, God dang it.
How does that little girl have so much wisdom, and how do I have so little?
Before I lose my nerve, I press the call button.
And wait as it rings...