Chapter 26 Lily
Javonte’s face when he called that deer Bambi brings a smile to my face while I sit at my desk and go over today’s schedule. We spent the weekend at the ranch, doing ranch things minus the hunting, and it was still a great time.
I do my best to not judge others, but hunting isn’t my thing at all.
Javonte sounded like he’d be into it, but it made my heart smile that he couldn’t do it.
I always knew he had that softness inside of him.
He shows it when we’re alone a lot, but seeing it literally out in the wild did something to me.
Hell, it made me tell him I love him.
I do, but I wasn’t really prepared to tell him that. It just came out. I don’t regret saying it. I’m happy. Everything feels right.
“Lily, I have some great news for you.” Jacquetta walks into my office without knocking.
“What’s that?” I ask, knowing Jacquetta never comes to any of us with something that’s actually good.
“You have been promoted.”
I slow-blink.
“You’re the newest employee relations manager. You’ll start shadowing me next week, and after that, most escalations will route through you first. It’s more visibility, more leadership, and exactly the kind of opportunity you said you wanted when you started here. “
I wasn’t the same person then. I absolutely don’t feel the same.
Jacquetta stares at me with her ever-present HR smile. I think that’s the only smile she owns. “Are you going to say anything?”
“I think I need some time off before I start the role. Would that be okay?”
I don’t know why I just said that. I don’t want the role even though the pay is better and the position offers more stability. It’s going to pull me further away from what I love. Every employee relations manager has worked longer hours. It’s a sacrifice of so much that is so important to me.
“If you have the PTO, you’re welcome to. You did it, Lily!” Jacquetta turns to leave, and I put my head down on my desk. I should be happy, but I can’t muster it.
“What happened?” Edie walks into my office.
“I am an elite employee.”
“Oh, damn...congrats?”
She sits in the chair across from my desk.
“Did you take it?”
“I wasn’t offered it. I was told. Who would turn it down?”
“Someone who doesn’t want the extra work and responsibility.”
I roll my eyes at her. She’s not helping.
“You have a lot going on. You did your weekend away, right? How was it?”
I put my head down on my desk again.
“Did you break up again?”
“No,” I say into my desk. “I told him I love him.”
“Aw, friend.That’s beautiful.” She watches me then tilts her head. “So why do you look like your period started right before vacation?”
“I do love him, but I wasn’t ready to say it. It just came out.”
“So it was natural, not forced, not held back. Just real?”
I make eye contact with her. She shrugs.
“Now the promotion? That’s some bullshit, and you should be upset about it. You deserve a raise, not a raise and more work.”
I point at her and nod.
“I’m taking a week off.” I open my laptop to put in my request. It’s a slow week for Lit with Lily. I don’t think for long before I cancel everything scheduled and issue refunds to everyone. A week without responsibilities sounds amazing.
“I like that! Take care of yourself, boo!”
She checks her phone. “Let me get back to my office and do some work.” She winks at me. “But not too much.”
I pack my stuff up and leave, taking the rest of the day off as a sick day.
I notice that it’s reflexive for me to text Javonte about everything. He doesn’t text back. Instead, my phone rings.
“Sorry about the promotion.”
I smile. He doesn’t say what you’re supposed to say to someone who got a promotion. He says what I need to hear.
“Thank you.”
“Do you have the option of turning it down?”
I stare out the window of my office. “I’m not sure. It wouldn’t look good.”
“Nah, it wouldn’t at all. Are you worried about how it looks?”
“I don’t know. I just...I don’t want to think about it. That’s why I took a week off.”
Javonte goes quiet.
“Hello?”
“You said you cancelled Lit with Lily for a week too?”
“Yeah, I just want to relax and not do anything at all.”
“Do you want to go on a trip with me?”
My heart beat picks up. “A trip to where?”
“Mexico, the Bahamas, Puerto Rico? Somewhere not too far but warm and sunny with a beach. You pick.”
We were together for almost a year, and we never sat on a plane together. Granted it was during the season. I’m here for this. It’s just what I need.
“The Bahamas.”
“Give me a few hours. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
My whole body reacts positively to that.
Back at home, I take out my suitcase and start packing, tossing bikinis in haphazardly. I don’t know if we’re going for the whole week, but I’m packing for the week, and I cannot wait.
My phone rings while I’m in my closet, rummaging in the back for my flowy vacation clothes.
The fact that they’re so far back there tells me everything I need to know.
I haven’t been on a trip since before Charisse had Naya and Sky, and that’s sad.
Those girls have been on more trips this past year than I have.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing?” Charisse asks, like I summoned her with my thoughts about her babies.
“Packing.”
“Oooh, where are you going?”
“The Bahamas.”
“You two are a thing now, huh?”
I sit on the edge of my bed. “I told him I love him this weekend.”
“Oh.”
It’s not a joyful ‘oh.’ It’s an ‘oh’ of judgement. I feel it in my bones.
“I know.” I hang my head.
“But you’re in love again!”
I laugh. Charisse can find the bright side of a black hole.
“I am,” I admit.
“So, you and your love are going on a trip soon?”
“We’re going on a trip today. I was sad, and he’s cheering me up, I guess.”
“What are you sad about?”
I look up at the ceiling. Explaining to people that being promoted at the job I hate makes me sad, in this economy, feels privileged in some weird way.
“I got a promotion.”
Charisse goes quiet, and the contrast of Javonte’s instant empathy screams at me.
“I hate my job, and I didn’t want the promotion,” I tell her, trying to keep my irritation at bay. We haven’t hung out enough, but that’s another issue for another time.
“When did you start hating it?”
I don’t know when the switch flipped with this job, but it feels unbearable right now.
“Sorry, Charisse. I took a week off to not think about work.”
“I understand. It’s like asking a teacher about school during summer break. I hope you have a good time. Take pictures and call me when you’re not getting your back blown out.”
I gasp. “Wow. That’s Porsche’s line.”
She laughs. “I know. I asked myself ‘what would Porsche say’, and then I said it. Have fun though, for real.”
We end our call, and I sit on my bed holding a crochet crop top. Am I going to get my back blown out?
I really hope so.