Chapter 12
Ryder
I have no clue where all this security was hiding before, but they’re spreading like wildfire, now. They’re all huddled in a misshapen circle, listening to who I’m assuming is the head guy. He is pointing in every direction, telling them where to go. Every door is blocked, and they are only allowing people to use the main doors to enter and exit. I grab Elara’s hand, ready to run.
A group of guards start running in the opposite direction down the adjacent hallway before another group forms, heading towards us. I turn towards Elara and our eyes meet. “Do you trust me?” She looks at me, her brows furrowed. “What?” She asks as I put my hands on either side of her face. “Do. You. Trust. Me?” I repeat insistently. She stutters, unsure of why the hell I’m asking that at a time like this. “Y-yes.” I push her up against the wall, bringing my lips to hers.
Her lips are soft against mine as she kisses me back, both of us melting into the kiss. My entire body tingles as I tangle my fingers in her hair, moving my other down her back, pulling her into me. I hear a multitude of footsteps pass us as the guards completely ignore us amid our make-out session. I open my eyes to see hers are still closed and I gently pull my face away from hers, while still leaving only inches between us. She opens her eyes and inhales. Her breath is ragged and uneven as stare into each other’s eyes.
Once we catch our breath and the coast is clear, I take her hand in mine again and we run out the door and head for the car. Neither of us utters a word until the car is locked.
“Did you get it?” Elara asks, breaking the silence. I reach in my pocket, taking out the USB. “You bet your ass I did.” I smile as her fist pumps through the air. “ And I didn’t kill the power grid. A+ for me.” I say, smirking.
“How was dancing with Sebastian?” I ask sarcastically, bouncing my eyebrows. She visibly shivers at my question. “He was a bit too handsy for a guy I just met.” She starts as I try not to grip the steering wheel too hard.
“He clearly has no problem hitting on a married woman.” She adds and I notice her face flush at her own comment. “We played our parts quite well, I think.” I reply, not wanting her to feel embarrassed and I see the corner of her mouth lift. “That we did.” She agrees, giving me a high-five.
“I say this calls for a celebratory dinner.” I announce, earning a happy nod from Elara. “Yes, please. I am starving.”
“Anything you’re in the mood for?” I ask, glancing over at her. “I wouldn’t say no to Italian.” she replies. “Italian it is. Takeout or go out?” She gives me an obvious look. “Takeout then. Don’t know why I asked.” I grin as she quietly chuckles.
I’m glad we aren’t letting our shenanigans change anything between us negatively. I will say, that kiss did feel very much reciprocated, though. It was just the first thing that came to mind, honestly. I may or may not be denying certain feelings for her, but I did that as a distraction so the guards wouldn’t suspect us. I didn’t expect both of us to fall into the kiss as if we’ve done it hundreds of times before. I’m probably just over thinking and reading too much into it. Yeah, we’ll go with that. I don’t want to bombard her about it and make her uncomfortable. The last thing I want to do is upset her.
We grab dinner and head back to our room, and I can feel the awkwardness slowly creeping in. Should we talk about it? Should we avoid it like the damn plague?
I’m a problem solver, I’m good at it. I always have been. But I genuinely don’t know what to do here. She keeps avoiding my eyes, and that only makes me more confused. I want to know what she’s thinking. But I can’t just openly ask her. Can I?
We were laughing and joking around at first when we got in the car, but then I guess reality started setting in and we fully processed what happened. On the bright side, we got Harper’s files. Hopefully that can occupy us and we can get past this unease. If you can’t tell, I’m not fond of uncertainty.
We eat our dinners on our respective beds. I insisted I take the couch back since I’m feeling better so she’s back on the bed. I still feel bad about that, but that’s done and over with now. The silence in the room is deafening and I fucking hate it. I want to say something, anything, but I physically can’t. The words just aren’t forming, let alone getting close enough to come out of my mouth. The tension -whether that be romantic, sexual, or neither, I can’t tell - is suffocating the room like smoke. I can’t even enjoy my bolognese because I’m full of thoughts and what ifs.
I’m undoing my tie when Elara breaks the silence that has gone on for far too long. "Do you mind if I take the first shower?" she asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. Giving a small smile, I say, "Of course not, go ahead." I hear the click of the bathroom door lock and I lean back on the cushion and take my hands down my face before realizing I'm bouncing my leg.I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. No matter how hard I try to think of something else, I can’t. I can't be the only one who felt the connection in that kiss. What if I’m not overthinking and she felt the same thing I did? It may have been for show at that moment, but it sure as shit felt real. I pulled her in, but she pulled me right back, giving me the same energy I gave her.
Elara is the only woman who has ever challenged me the way she does, and her unreadable nature infuriates me. I can't keep going with the what ifs. Denying my feelings and bottling them is not going to help anyone. And if she does feel the same, I will die before I let her slip away. This girl will be the death of me .
I push off the couch and stalk towards the bathroom and just as I raise my hand to knock, the door opens abruptly. Elara looks up at me, wide-eyed. "Do you, um… want to join me?"
Fuck it.