Chapter One #2
Darlene was the opposite. She’d never coached anyone to the finals, never really had a coaching career of note until Theo came around.
It was nice to have someone who felt like someone’s mom in charge, but sometimes I missed the thrill of a coach who would threaten to leave us behind during away games if we pissed him off.
“I hope you’re all excited about the start of the season,” Coach Darlene said, which was about how she usually started her speeches at these things.
The team hooped and hollered in response.
“You’ve been working hard during your exhibition games and during practice.
I know I’ve been tough on you going into this season, but there have been some pretty significant adjustments we’ve had to make.
Thank you for being patient and working through them with me. ”
Nia, Gemma, and I exchanged knowing looks.
Somehow, significant adjustments still felt like an understatement.
We’d had to completely rebuild the team without Theo.
Most of the starting line-up was still the same, but our functions on the court were different.
We had to depend on each other to fill the void where Theo used to be, which had turned out to be more difficult than we’d realized.
We all knew Theo was good, but it definitely rattled us to see just how much our playing changed without her.
Fortunately, we were gaining our footing; it just hadn’t been easy. My preseason was always rough, so I’d been prepared for that, but I hadn’t been prepared for it to be so difficult to glue our starting line-up back together.
I chose to ignore that most of it was credited to Anna rather than someone who was actually one of us.
We were one week away. One week from the start of my last season ever as a college basketball player, one week away from asserting myself as a first-round draft pick. One week from having to prove that I was just as good, if not better, than the new girl, and that no one could replace me.
Easy enough.
“As we know, this will be the last season some of you play with us,” Coach Darlene continued. She glanced over my way. “GJ, our captain this year, included.”
My teammates and coaches cheered again. Captain had been one of the top things I’d wanted to accomplish this year.
If there was anyone who could handle taking over the reins from Theo, it was me.
I was relieved that my coaches believed in me as much as I believed in myself, and even more relieved that they didn’t think some fresh blood was going to be a worthwhile replacement.
Captain to me had always meant that I was going to have the best season of my life, which would lead to me getting drafted, which I’d then turn into a massively successful career.
It was the first big stepping stone to kicking off my dream career.
There wasn’t any other option—I wanted to play basketball for the rest of my life like most people wanted to breathe.
But all of that fire I’d felt over the years, the times I’d confidently told Theo I was ready to be captain, had begun to slip away over the summer. New feelings were settling in that I’d never experienced before: doubt and uncertainty.
But I wasn’t about to let anyone know that.
“Any inspiring words from our team leader?” Coach Darlene asked.
My mind went completely blank. It was a new thing I’d been struggling with over the summer—never finding the right words, never knowing what to say.
It was like someone had put a curse on me.
All of the years of people telling me to shut the fuck up, both on the court and off, had caught up with me.
“Let’s kick some ass,” I said, the best I could come up with. I raised my glass as laughter filled the room. Everyone else raised their glasses, too, a mix of amusement and tolerance in their faces.
As I looked around the room, it was hard to believe this my last Lakeside Green pre-season dinner.
I’d spent all summer trying to wrap my head around the major changes to come, but it didn’t feel possible.
The end of the season felt so far away compared to now; it might as well have been a lifetime until March.
“Always so eloquent, GJ,” Coach Darlene said with a small chuckle. But I could hear the tone underneath her words—the small, imperceptible to everyone else reminder that we would never have the bond that she had with Theo.
After Coach Darlene closed out her mini-speech with her usual words of encouragement, we ordered our entrees and non-alcoholic drinks.
“I think East Hill will be a good one,” Mags said and then stuffed a piece of cheese from what was left of our appetizer platter into her mouth. “They have that sophomore on the rise.”
“Ellie, she’s from your hometown, right?” Gemma asked.
Ellie looked up at us, blinking her wide blue eyes. Despite being on track to be a consistent starter next season, she always looked like a deer in the headlights whenever any of us acknowledged her. “Yeah, thereabouts.”
Ellie was from a small town in Texas, a few hours out from any of the major metro areas. We were both technically the most culturally Southern of our teammates, but her home was an entirely different beast. She grew up with cowboys and ranches; I was from a suburb just outside of Mobile.
We usually didn’t have much to say to each other; I didn’t think I’d ever even heard her curse.
But Theo had always liked her, and we both talked about her being a solid addition to the team.
It was hard to know if she’d go pro because she was so quiet and unsure of herself, but she had the focus of someone who could pull it off.
It was just a matter of whether her athletic abilities could get her there.
“She was good?” Nia asked.
Ellie nodded, her face as red as her hair, like it always was whenever we spoke to her.
I didn’t know if that was a team-specific thing—even though Ellie was a junior, she still came across like the baby of us—or if she was just perpetually embarrassed by being acknowledged.
“She’s been good,” she said. “She was part of my AAU team one year before she moved. She’s quick. ”
“Interesting.” Gemma chewed on the words, probably already thinking through her defensive strategy.
“We’ll get Ellie on her,” Mags said, the corners of her mouth turned up.
Ellie was a consistent and level shooter, nearly by-the-book perfect, but she was really good on defense.
Most people at a college level didn’t have the strength she did, and most basketball players in general didn’t have the build she did.
She was 6’2”, which was still considered tall for a women’s college player, and had a broad, solid build.
She looked strong, something most of us didn’t have working in our favor.
“I don’t know about that,” Ellie responded shyly.
“You have a good eye on the court,” Anna offered, seemingly out of nowhere.
I didn’t know she’d even been listening in on the conversation.
Her expression was as flat and unexpressive as it always was off the court.
“Mags is right about putting you on her. I think you’ll be an unexpected weapon to keep her out of the paint. ”
Ellie kind of looked like she appreciated it, but also looked like she might throw up. Gemma offered a supportive smile in Ellie’s direction. “If we can beat Point Brook, we can definitely handle East Hill.”
I set my jaw as my teammates nodded in agreement. None of us wanted to state the obvious—we’d beat Point Brook last season. We hadn’t played them yet this season. And things had a way of changing.
My stomach knotted the way it had all summer. It was a new, uncomfortable feeling that was usually accompanied by about a million little voices saying variations of you’re an idiot if you think you’ll play well this season.
I tapped my fingers against my thigh, overwhelmed by the urge to get the fuck out of here.
I leaned over to Nia, dropping my voice. “We’re going to The 151 after this, right?”
Nia smirked. “Duh.”