Chapter 28 Fate Isn’t Final #2
“Magic killed her,” I say. “I know. But I’m… I’m not my mother.” Tears finally fall, sliding down my cheeks. “I didn’t know her, but I know she would have hated this.”
Robin winces. I’m right, aren’t I?
When she speaks, her voice is tight with pain.
“Magic did kill your mother. Though not how you think.
The wicked creatures we fled eventually found us here, in Heartland.
Your mother never agreed with cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world.
We let people in from other lands, allowed them to come and go freely, because of her wishes.
That was her mistake. It was eventually how that evil came here and surrounded us.
I told her that we should use our magic to put up a wall.
But she was concerned about the other lands… we might be safe, but what about them?
“So she drew those villainous creatures to Heartland on purpose, to destroy them once and for all. And when they arrived, as she knew they would, instead of fleeing… she confronted them. She walked out to meet them, alone… and before I could reach her, she emptied herself of her magic.” Her voice quivers.
“She gave all of herself to keep us—you—protected. Until every last creature was gone… and none of her was left.”
Another tear slips down my cheek. I knew my mother sacrificed her life to defend our land. But I thought she died in battle with her sword. I didn’t know she drained herself of magic to keep us all safe.
“I vowed never to put you in danger again.” I see it in my mind, as if she’s projecting the image onto me. That cloud that used to follow her around… it dispersed and spread, becoming the mist that surrounds Heartland. Cutting it off from the rest of the world.
Keeping us safe.
Keeping us isolated.
It all makes sense now.
“Robin,” I whisper. “I understand why you did it. But your protection has turned into a prison. It’s time to let go of your hold on magic.
Let go of controlling everything, including fate, thinking it’s the only way to keep me—all of us—safe.
Let go of your regrets and your hurt and your sadness.
This is not… it’s not the way your best friend would want you to live.
She gave up her life for Heartland… and now… now you’re destroying it.”
Her eyes burn fiercely, the black pupils lighting as though from within, my words hitting their mark.
Still, the storm strengthens. The metal around my skin wraps tighter still, forcing me down even lower, toward the floor, now puddled with rising rainwater.
I can see in Robin’s face that she wants to fight the shadows. But the darkness has its hooks in her. She’s so far deep she can’t see a way out of it.
She’s drowning in the shadows. They want her to forget who she is and who she loves. They want to turn her magic completely fell and use it to destroy all of Heartland.
They want her to just give up and give in.
I remember Posey’s words, from Anyland, when we were sitting in the depths of Rock Bottom.
There is always a way out.
The storm has filled the basement armory, water now up to my knees. The shadows have taken over the walls. Under their command, using Robin’s magic, the stone trembles—then thickens, another layer of brick piling on. Another. The room is getting smaller.
The turret is now filled with spiraling winds, a tornado raging, my hair flying wildly around me. The ceilings are beginning to cave in.
There’s no escape. We’re being trapped in here. Forever.
No way out, the darkness seems to whisper.
You’re stuck.
You’re ours.
I’ve been fighting so long… the thought of giving up is almost a comfort. How nice it would be to just rest. To collapse under the weight of these shackles and let the storm and shadows take me.
I wonder if my mother ever had that thought. If she looked out at the approaching armies of wicked creatures and thought of just turning her back on them. Or dooming the rest of the lands by putting up walls to keep her own land secure.
No. She didn’t. Even as her best friend begged her not to, she put her armor on. She took up her sword and shield.
She faced them all headfirst.
I am my mother’s daughter. And I am also my own person, someone I found hidden deep within, a true self uncovered beneath layers of self-doubt and the constant need for perfection.
I close my eyes.
Even as the world is falling, even as the darkness is winning, I look inward, toward that true self. I ignore the chaos all around, and I search for that feeling of brightness, of hope, of wonder.
Even in this unrelenting night, I find it still blazing within, like a never-ending pink flame, a glow flickering to life from the center of my chest.
Finally.
It’s still there. This darkness is trying to snuff it out, but it’s still burning. Still fighting. Even against all odds.
The flame is weak. But it’s growing.
I grip it with all my senses. I let it take over.
I feed its fire with kindling made up of a million moments of laughter and quiet, and courage and greatness, and failing and winning, and flying and falling, and sinking and rising, and grieving and learning, and destroying and creating, and smiling and crying, and being and becoming—because that’s what life is.
A mosaic of good and bad that combine to create sparkling magic.
The shadows have smothered the entire room. The water is up to my chin. Soon, I’ll be beneath it.
Darkness wins.
No. It doesn’t.
All at once, a beam of pink light cuts through the shadows and storms, shining… from me.
From my heart.
Magic.
Robin’s eyes widen at seeing me wield magic. Her lips part.
Before she can say a single word, her entire body is overtaken by shadows that wrap around her like a tomb.
No.
You’re too late. You’re too weak, the shadows whisper.
I’m not. I know that for certain.
There’s nothing you can do.
A smile begins to crawl across my face.
Because that might have worked before… but I’m a different person now.