Chapter 7 – Grant
SEVEN
GRANT
He didn’t think she was ready to date. She just got settled.
Two Months Later
“Why does your business card say Associates?”
“Why are you always asking me stream of conscience questions from my doorway?” I retaliated.
“Do I do that?”
“You do,” I assured her.
I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my eyes. I was one of those people who was going to need glasses prematurely for my age because of all the time I’d spent in front of screens.
It was the end of a long day.
I’d just had to give bad news to someone who I’d been considering investing in, but the numbers just didn’t work. It wasn’t that I couldn’t make a profit, it was that she couldn’t make a profit. Not with all the forces in the market working against her right now.
She’d been devastated, I knew, but she’d handled herself well. Professionally. I’d wished her luck, but the truth was, I wanted her to get a new idea. A better one. She had a head for business and all the ambition in the world. She just needed something that had more upside.
“What?” I asked, finally acknowledging her presence on the periphery of my space.
“Heather was a no then?”
I loved and hated the way she did that. She knew who’d been on my call sheet, so no mystery there, but she could always determine my decisions from just my expression.
I hated that I gave that much away with a sigh or a look. I loved that I didn’t have to go into any other further explanation about my decision.
Anna knew I’d been rooting for the woman. She also knew I was just as disappointed with the outcome. I glanced up and gave her a brief nod.
However, I quickly averted my eyes. It had become a tick with me these past several weeks. Suddenly, she was the sun and I couldn’t look at her directly.
Because, if I did, I saw her in nothing more than the leggings and tank top from that afternoon in the motel.
A waif like version of some poor man’s ballerina.
I hadn’t known if I should cover her with a blanket, force feed her, or make her dance for me. I did none of those things, of course. But the image wouldn’t leave me.
It was annoying. I didn’t want to think of her as a woman. Or a person for that matter.
Anna was a tool. Nothing more.
“It says associates on the business card, and on the sign outside our office, but really it’s just you.”
“I liked how it sounded better, when I was filling out the paperwork,” I said, trying to put her off. “Besides, now there is you.”
“I’m not an associate, I’m an assistant. There’s a difference. Even I know that. Still, when you do decide to fire me for real at some point, can I put associate on my resume?”
I frowned at her. That, I could do while looking directly at her. Making my displeasure known through facial expression.
Frowns. Scowls. Sneers. Condescension was typically associated with tone of voice, but I was fairly sure I could arrange my face to convey that, too.
“Stop thinking about your next job while in your current one,” I told her. I checked the time on one of my monitors. It was nearly seven in the evening. “It’s late. Why are you still here?”
“You stay, I stay. That’s how this works. Except…”
I ignored the fact she let her sentence dangle and went about closing the various windows on my monitors. I preferred a tidy workspace, and closing applications before shutting down for the evening felt like part of that ritual. It was also a good security practice.
Pushing back my chair, I stood and unplugged the laptop from the main console. The universal sign for, I was done for the night. She nodded and popped out of the doorway to go fetch her own laptop.
After weeks of me mocking the grocery store tote she typically carried it in, I paid her a decent salary after all, she’d purchased a proper computer carrier.
Navy polyester, but functional. In her business clothes with her across-the-shoulder laptop carrier, she looked like a proper young professional.
No one would know, I thought.
That she’d been hungry. That she’d been struggling to make rent at a dive motel. That she’d been at the mercy of some asshole manager who thought he had power over her.
Off handedly, she’d told me the name of the diner where she’d worked and I’d called local officials about the need for a sudden health inspection. I have no idea if they passed it or not. My guess, based on the generous donation I made to the local food pantry…they did not.
A few weeks ago, I’d agreed to the apartment she’d picked out.
She was already moved in, as I’d pressured the manager to bump up the move-in date for her.
Usually, there was a waiting period while the application was reviewed, along with a credit check.
Given she’d only recently opened a bank account, I had to have all that waived for a nominal security deposit.
It was only a two mile walk from her apartment to the office building complex.
There was also a convenient bus route that was easily accessible in case it rained.
There was no need to get her a company car at this point.
However, it did occur to me, as late as we worked, as the months ran by, it would soon be dark before the end of the working day.
I might have to re-evaluate the car at that point.
For now, I was satisfied she could get herself home safely. I would worry later about what happened in the fall months because I couldn’t drive her myself.
It hadn’t bothered me up until now. My fear of driving with another person in the car. It was only ever annoying when I needed Ricky anytime I had a thought I might need to offer someone a ride from point A to point B.
The anxiety I’d felt anytime a new passenger was in a car with me was nearly unmanageable.
Thank God she hadn’t spoken or asked any questions that required a reply from me when we’d left the motel that day.
I wouldn’t have been able to give it to her.
For her part, she’d just assumed me having a driver was about my wealth and so I let her think it.
Didn’t all billionaires have drivers?
I walked out of my office and paused in the middle of the lobby as I watched her close her door behind her. We both took our laptops with us every day so there was no real concern about security where our individual doors needed to be locked.
She threw her bag across her shoulders and pulled her hair out from under the strap like a dance move I was starting to anticipate and met me at the front door. I held the door for her as she passed, then let it close and auto lock behind us.
Together we made our way to the elevator.
She would ride with me to the lobby and get off there. I would descend further to the parking garage where my car was waiting for me. No driver needed with just me driving to and from the office.
If I had to start dropping her off at her apartment though…
Was that something employers did for their employees? Was I overstepping by even thinking I needed to be responsible for her wellbeing?
Was I being a decent guy, or an overbearing control freak?
The elevator bell dinged, announcing its arrival as the doors slid open.
Given how late I worked, it was typically just the two of us, alone in the compartment.
And for whatever reason, this elevator ride, the one at the end of the day, always made me a little…
uncomfortable. It was hard to put a finger on why.
A sense of something in the air between us.
Tension?
Which of course made no sense, as Anna and I had developed, in a very short amount of time, a harmonized professional relationship.
“Except,” I blurted out as the elevator started its descent.
“Huh?”
“Earlier, before in the office,” I reminded her. “You stay, I stay…except.”
“Oh, that’s right. I did say that.”
I glanced over and saw her blink. Which meant she hadn’t forgotten at all what she’d said. Anna was the worst liar imaginable. Something that pleased me about her.
“Except…I was wondering if this Friday I might be able cut out by, say, around, six?”
“Why?”
She took a deep breath and it all came out in a rush.
“Someone from my apartment complex asked me out on a date. Like a date, date. Like the kind of thing you see in the movies, only I’ve never been on an actual date.
I mean, it’s not like I didn’t have offers at the Motel 17, if you know what I mean.
And there was my creepy manager at the diner, which definitely did not count, but I think this is legit.
His name is Kenny, he’s kind of nerdy, but he seems sincere.
I’ve been trying to just get by for so long, you know what I mean?
But things are really changing in my life now and so maybe it’s time. Maybe I’m ready?”
She took another massive breath, having run out of all her air and scattered thoughts.
“Can I go?”
We hit the lobby floor and the doors to the elevator opened.
“No.”
I hit the button to close the doors and she quickly stepped out into the lobby, her expression seemingly confused. I don’t know why she was confused. She asked a question. I answered it.
There wasn’t anything more simple than that.
The Next Day
“I imagine you’re annoyed with me,” I said, verbalizing what I felt was the elephant in the room.
We’d been working separately in our offices since our morning ritual, during which she’d been abnormally subdued, I thought.
I didn’t push it then. However, having just delivered my lunch, along with my afternoon schedule, I thought I could still sense a certain amount of tension emanating from her.
We needed to clear the air.
She was standing in her usual spot on the other side of my desk and I turned my chair to focus solely on her.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Why?”
She wasn’t blinking. Normally she blinked when she lied or played dumb about something.
“You’ve been tense,” I pointed out.
“I have?” She shook her shoulders and rolled her head around her neck.
“I don’t feel tense. Could be some leftover soreness from moving day.
You know there is a yoga studio not too far from my apartment.
I’ve been thinking about signing up. All this sitting can’t be good for the body. Have you ever taken yoga?”
“No,” I answered sharply.
“It might be good for you. All that tension you carry in your shoulders-”
“That’s not…” I stopped and took a breath. “I’m not talking about physical tension. It’s been tense. Between us.”
“It has?”
I gritted my teeth. “Stop answering my statements with a question. You’re being obtuse.”
“I’m not being obtuse,” she countered. “I legitimately don’t know how else to answer you. What’re you talking about?”
“About last night,” I said. “About not letting you leave before six this Friday.”
Her brow furrowed and she looked genuinely confused. “I’m not mad about that.”
“You’re not?”
“See how easy that was?” she pointed at me. “You totally just replied with a question.”
“Look Flowers, if this is some kind of a game to you…” I left the threat hanging.
She held up her hands in surrender. “E.G., I promise you, it’s not.
I’m not mad at all about this Friday so I’m not sure what you’re picking up.
It’s been a few weeks, so maybe you forgot, but I was a ten on the desperation scale.
If you want me here until midnight on Friday, I’m not going to say a word about it. ”
I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “Oh. That’s good.
Thank you for understanding. You’ve just started this job.
We seem to be working together well. I think it’s important you keep your focus here.
A young woman goes out on a date, she starts to lose that focus.
All of a sudden, you’re forgetful and spending time thinking about… I don’t know…makeup and shit-”
“Whoa,” she said, interrupting me. “You might want to check yourself on the makeup talk. Sounded like you were headed into pretty sexist territory there. You really don’t want to date yourself.
Sexism is so out these days. Or maybe in again depending on your POV?
But for this conversation, let’s say it’s out again. ”
I glared at her.
But she chuckled. Then her expression grew serious. “I’m not going to lose focus. I’m not going to not give this job one hundred percent. A date with a guy isn’t going to change that.”
The reassurance was oddly settling. “Excellent. That’s good. That’s a sound mind. There will be other guys. And other dates. In the future.”
Her face changed again and I could see she was confused again.
“Well, sure. But there will also be this guy and this date. We just pushed it to Saturday because I told him I couldn’t predict my schedule on Friday.
Now, you have your lunch and meeting schedule for this afternoon.
One is in person, she actually flew in from Los Angeles, and the rest are remote.
I have a list of errands I need to run for you. Anything else you need before I go?”
“No,” I said. “There’s nothing else. Thank you for being so flexible.”
Another bright fucking smile from her. And absolutely no blinking.
What would she say if I told her to stop that?
Smiling.
I was starting to hate her smiles. The way her eyes narrowed at the edges and I could see too many of her teeth. Either the state home where she’d grown up offered dental care or her negligent parents had gifted her with the genetic benefits of strong straight teeth.
Yes, I definitely hated her smile.
I hated.
When was the last time I’d felt that strongly about…anything?