Chapter 41 – Anna
FORTY-ONE
ANNA
She knew this could be her future. She didn’t know if she was worthy.
“This is going to be intense,” I warned E.G.
“It’s going to be fine,” he said, calmly.
“There is going to be hugging and shouting. You saw what happened when we Facetimed them. This is going to be way worse than that.”
We were at the airport, down in baggage claim, waiting for E.G.’s parents. Rebecca had wanted to come too, but she hadn’t been able to get away from work. In some ways, I was relieved. Having them all gawk at me for a few days was going to feel like being stuck in a fishbowl.
When we’d called them together, his mom, who I still couldn’t think of as Jackie, had gasped when she saw me sitting next to E.G. on the couch.
E.G. must have told them I’d left, and now suddenly I was back.
That was before we’d dropped the big bomb.
E.G. did not mess around. Right up front, he told them I was pregnant. We decided to not find out the sex, because in the last minute I freaked out about it. All we could tell them was, there was going to be a baby in September.
I could see they were shocked. Then his mom had started hard crying while his dad tried to look sternly at E.G., all while comforting his wife.
They didn’t ask to come see us, just said they were coming, and now we were here picking them up at the airport, three days later.
I think, maybe they were happy?
Or maybe, they were secretly thinking I was a gold-digging baby momma who lured their precious into having sex with me.
It was hard to know with all the crying.
“Grant!”
We turned at the shout of his name and saw his parents coming down the escalator wheeling their carry-on luggage behind them. His mom, with her traditional blonde bun, and his dad, who gave me a glimpse into what my future with E.G. would look like if I stayed for the duration.
Immediately, I shut those thoughts down. I couldn’t think about long term. I didn’t want to think about anything beyond today and tomorrow. That’s how I was handling all of it. The baby. Living with E.G.
And now this.
“There she is!” his mother squealed, as she came rushing toward me. She swept me up in a hug I had no choice about. Just grabbed and held me. And when she pulled away, she looked at me with a very serious expression.
“How are you feeling?”
“Really good,” I said.
Then she looked down at my belly and I couldn’t help it. I pulled away the coat I was wearing and flattened my shirt over what was now a little bump I called Boo.
Carefully, gingerly, she placed her hand over my belly. Then she looked up at me and beamed. Then the waterworks started to flow.
“Oh no, please don’t cry,” I said.
“Mom. A little self-control please,” E.G. said, as he stood by his dad and watched the whole thing.
Well, that was the wrong thing to say because his mother shot her gaze to him and narrowed her eyes in a menacing expression.
“What did you do to this young woman?”
E.G. shrugged. “I knocked her up. Obviously.”
“Son,” his dad, Evan, said, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you what it’s like to feel so happy for you and so disappointed at the same time. I raised you differently. First, you get married, and then you knock her up.”
“Seems a little old school,” E.G. muttered. “Come on. Our driver is waiting.”
“Driver?” his dad asked him. “You’re back to that?”
“It’s just more convenient,” E.G. said.
“Yes, I can see that,” his mother nodded, and then shot her husband a look which communicated so much.
It was strange, but suddenly I was fluent in Allen eye communication.
Don’t make a big deal about him not driving, Evan. You know he’s still traumatized from the accident.
I was just asking a question, Jackie. But I’ll drop the subject.
Our son is still in pain.
Our son is still in pain. I get it.
They had it, I thought. That real connection. It was all right there and so completely obvious.
Then she hooked her arm around my waist and together we all headed outside to where Ricky was waiting with the car.
“Now, I want to know every little detail,” she said, as she ushered me through the doors.
“Of your son knocking me up?” I teased.
“You can spare me that,” she laughed. “Let’s just skip to the part where the doctor told you both.”
E.G.’s Home
“I’m certain it’s a girl,” Jackie said, looking at the picture of Boo E.G. and I had put on the refrigerator.
“Mom, I told you we didn’t have them check the sex. All you’re seeing is the top of the head and an arm. I think.”
“Boy or girl, as long as it’s healthy,” Evan announced.
I was putting together cheese and snacks just to hold us over until dinner. I set them out on the counter and Jackie made a fuss.
“Sit, sit. I can do that. You need to rest.”
“Mom, I think Flowers can handle a few crackers.”
“I can handle eating them,” I said, as I took a seat at the kitchen island and grabbed a cracker with some cheese. “I’ve been on the streets, so I thought I knew hunger. But this whole pregnancy stuff is off the hook. I am constantly hungry.”
Jackie beamed at me. “That’s a good sign. Means the baby is growing nice and healthy.”
Evan clapped his hands together. “Let’s talk specifics. When is this happening?”
“Dad, we told you. The baby is due in September.”
“I don’t mean the baby. I mean the wedding.”
Uh oh. Record scratch.
I immediately reached for a cracker to shove in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to say anything. Let E.G. handle this.
“We haven’t talked about a date,” he said vaguely.
Nice job, I thought.
The truth was, we hadn’t talked about a wedding. Period. There were some days when E.G. hinted at making things more permanent. He talked about legal names, tax write-offs and trust funds. Mostly, I tuned him out.
But I knew where he was going with it all.
He wanted to put a ring on it. Make it official. Tie me in all the knots he could so that I wouldn’t bail after the baby was born.
And there were days when I was standing under the spray of like ten shower heads, (okay, slight exaggeration, but there were definitely six), in a monster luxurious bathroom, washing my hair with hundred-dollar shampoo, basking in all this luxury, when I would have those thoughts of…was I crazy?
Why not marry the guy, have his baby and live this incredibly comfortable life?
The sex would be hot.
I would have everything I ever wanted or needed.
My child would be loved. By parents, grandparents and an aunt.
In what universe did it make sense to walk away from any of that?
“I’m not ready,” I said. Which sounded like. “Hmmphnotrdy” because I was still eating a cracker.
“What was that, dear?” Jackie asked me.
I swallowed. “I’m not ready. To get married. That is.”
E.G. looked at me and I looked at him.
I haven’t pushed you to get married, Flowers.
Don’t think I don’t know that’s what you really want.
I want us to be together. As a family.
A legal document doesn’t make us a family. Love does. Are you ready to fall in love?
He looked away from me then.
“E.G.’s not ready either,” I said. But I didn’t want his parents to think all hope was lost. Because it wasn’t. I knew that even if E.G. didn’t. “It’s not entirely off the table, though.”
“It isn’t?” he asked me.
I shrugged. “We’ll see. I mean, don’t you think I should make him prove himself a little first?”
His dad nodded. “Absolutely. He’s got to win you over.”
“Exactly,” I agreed.
“He’s got to woo you,” Jackie said, patting her son on the back as she stood next to him. “Are you trying to woo her, Grant?” Evan asked him.
“Oh, I would definitely like to woo the shit out of her, but she’s been somewhat difficult in that area.”
Jackie slapped him upside the head. “Don’t be fresh.”
I laughed at his pained wince.
“Yeah, E.G.” I cackled. “There is going to have to be a lot more wooing going on before we even think about a wedding.”
I reached for more cheese and another cracker and this time the look he gave me was a little more inscrutable. But I think he was saying something like…
Game on, Flowers.