Epilogue
GRANT
No. It wasn’t possible. And yet there it was.
“I brought you your hospital bag,” I announced, as I walked through Flowers’ hospital room door.
Now that the business of actually having my baby was done, I could finally, finally use some of my money for good. I had Flowers moved to a private suite within the hospital, along with a private doula for lactation consultation.
Naturally, Flowers thought it was unnecessary, but I needed to do something to feel useful.
I lifted the duffel bag I’d found in the back of our closet to prove I’d returned with the goods. I’d gone home for a few hours, ostensibly, for sleep. Didn’t sleep a wink and instead bounced around the house like an insane man wondering what I’d missed.
Ricky had shown up, his mouth still filled with cotton, desperately trying to apologize, but considering everything had worked out so successfully, I was less inclined to fire him. I shooed him off to recover and then set about my mission to hunt and gather for my soon to be bride.
She wanted snacks, more snacks, soft fuzzy socks, a softer fuzzier blanket and all of the onesies and baby clothes she’d purchased in the weeks leading up to the main event.
Our daughter was about to be swaddled in nothing but yellow and green colors.
“Shhh. She’s bonding with me,” Flowers said. Our daughter was in her arms, while Flowers gazed down upon her with a look I, as a lowly man, simply did not understand.
I set the duffel bag at the end of her bed. It was still a twin, because apparently, that’s the only size they make hospital beds in, but at least the room was quiet and had windows that let in the bright sunlight from outside.
“Did you sleep?” I asked her as I unzipped the bag.
“No,” she said with a soft smile, sitting up in bed. “Did you?”
“No,” I said, then as gently as I could, I bent down to kiss Flowers on her head first, then my daughter’s.
It wasn’t lost on me that in so many ways this was just the beginning of our journey. In so many ways, I was going to have to prove myself, my love and the strength of my commitment to her. As a person and individual I loved, not just as the mother of my child.
I’d really screwed this whole thing up badly.
“Hey,” I said, as I reached inside the duffel bag and pulled out some Combos, pizza flavored, salt and vinegar potato chips, and Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies. “You know, it occurs to me that I told you I loved you yesterday.”
“How about that?” she said, glancing up at me.
“You’re glowing,” I told her.
“That’s funny, because I feel all glowy,” she admitted.
“Anyway, I was saying that I told you that I loved you.”
“Yep. Heard you loud and clear.”
“Okay,” I said, as I reached in for some fuzzy socks. “Any time you want to say it back…”
“E.G.” she said, looking at me. “I just don’t know that I’m ready. Like, don’t you think you should earn it first?”
One hundred percent I did, but she wasn’t supposed to think that. She was just supposed to tell me she loved me, because I already knew she did.
“I overcame my fears and drove us to the hospital,” I pointed out.
“You did.”
“I overcame my grief and fell in love with you.”
“That too.”
“I circumvented all professional etiquette and banged my assistant on her desk,” I said, as if she hadn’t been there.
“You probably shouldn’t have done that,” she said, with a teasing smile dancing around her lips. “Just look at the result.”
She shifted Emma up in her arms and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
“Yeah, well, I’m pretty stoked about that particular result.
” I pulled out her fuzzy blanket, and when I did, heard something heavy hit the linoleum floor.
Not recalling what else I’d stuffed in her bag that would have made such a noise, I draped the blanket over her feet and then bent down to pick up what had fallen.
“Uh oh,” she muttered.
What I held in my hand made no sense. “This is my watch.”
“It is,” she whispered.
My brain reached for a memory. “I lost this watch… well over a year ago.”
“Lost is a very generous term.”
It was like this sudden rush of memories.
I knew the night I’d lost it. I knew it because it had been another anniversary I’d chosen to get drunk.
I remember stumbling out into the alley.
The next morning I’d just assumed it had fallen off my wrist. Ricky had had to come and pick me up, but there had been this person… a young woman.
“Hoooly shiiiit,” I said, my jaw dropping as I looked at my soon to be bride, who was also a thief. “It was you.”
“This is the part where I remind you, you love me and I’m holding your daughter.”
“This is the part where you give me one good reason why I shouldn’t call the police.”
She rolled her eyes. “Statute of limitations.”
“Like you know what the fucking statute of limitations are for theft,” I said, chuckling.
“Okay, how about I love you back?”
I shook my head. “I already knew that.” I slipped the watch on my wrist and thought it looked gold and a bit tacky. Why had I bought something like this? More importantly, “Why didn’t you pawn it? It’s worth at least a couple thousand dollars.”
She shrugged, then sighed. “I don’t know. It just felt…important. Come take Emma. I’m getting sleepy.”
I pulled the blanket up her legs, eased my daughter back into my arms and then watched her scootch herself down the bed. She turned on her side to face me.
“Are you mad?”
“Yep,” I said, settling into the lounge chair situated next to her bed, my daughter the most pleasant weight in my arms I could possibly imagine.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” I told her. “If you weren’t going to pawn it, then you should have returned it to me and I would have given you a cash reward.”
“Seriously?” she yawned, her eyes closing.
“Seriously,” I said softly, even as she drifted off to sleep. “And then I would have fallen in love with you sooner.”
I wasn’t sure if she heard that last part. I would repeat it for her when she woke.
“Hey, baby girl,” I crooned to my daughter, who was also sleeping peacefully in my arms. “Let me tell you about the night I actually met your mother.”