Chapter 35
RIan
I’m leaning against the counter as Isabelle stubbornly fights the urge to vomit while cooking breakfast. Her pale green coloring suggests it’s a losing battle, and I watch amused as she pinches her nose shut.
“I think these eggs are bad,” she says with a pout.
“I think you’re pregnant,” I say back.
Her eyes widen and she looks up at me with parted lips. “Oh my god. I could be. I need to grab tests.”
Twisting the watch on my wrist, I check the time and push off the frame. “Aodhan should be back from the store soon.”
“You made Aodhan pick up pregnancy sticks?! I could have done it. That’s so embarrassing,” Isabelle whines, giving up on the food entirely and coming to pout in front of me. “And now everyone is going to know we may be pregnant, but what if it’s negative?”
“Then it’s negative, love. We’ll keep trying.” I give her a salacious grin.
She falls into my chest and I wrap my arms around her. “I just thought we would have been pregnant by now.”
My heart twists a second and I sigh, tilting her face up to me. “Remember what I told you about my mom?”
Tears shine in her eyes. “Right, I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”
I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean…no matter what happens. Our house will be full, okay?”
We’re still standing there in each other’s arms when Aodhan comes home a few minutes later, carrying multiple bags that he drops on the counter.
“Oh my god. Did you buy out the whole store?” Isabelle teases.
He rolls his eyes. “No, only a handful. I also got you some crackers and ginger ale. It’s what Aoife recommended until she can drop off some lollipops she apparently snacks on. And then an orange juice so you can take a test now.”
Her eyebrows raise. “You want me to test right now?”
My fingers flex on her waist. “If you could, yeah.”
Isabelle glances between us. “Okay…and both of you are going to stay and wait?”
Shouts ring out in the hall and then Cormac and Cillian are fighting to get through the door of the kitchen. Cormac throws his arm around Cillian’s neck as they tumble to the ground.
“Get your fucking fat ass off me,” Cillian growls as they roll around.
I move Isabelle out of the way as she watches in horror.
“You gotta be taught a lesson on not being a sore loser,” Cormac says with a laugh.
Letting out a sharp whistle, the men part and look up at me. I shake my head at their antics. “She hasn’t tested yet.”
Isabelle’s mouth drops open. “That was over me? What the hell?”
I drop my face against her temple and chuckle. “We’re excited. We were the same way with Declan’s baby. We’re a family. If Aoife didn’t tire of us, I’m sure they’d still live here too.”
“I can’t possibly imagine how Aoife would grow tired of you all,” she says dryly.
Cillian scoffs in fake astonishment. “You’re barely in this, darlin'. Give it a few years before you start making those types of jokes, will ya?”
A laugh rumbles out of my chest.
“Mr. O’Callagan…”
I turn when I hear the soft words spoken behind me, and my heart squeezes at the devastation on my father’s nurse’s face. I stagger a step away from everyone, my breath stalling in my lungs. “No.”
She nods, her red eyes filling with tears.
Isabelle gasps, and her hand touches my back.
I swallow to coat the ache clawing in my throat. “Show me.”
“Rian,” my wife whispers behind me, her own grief cracking in her voice.
Aodhan’s hand curls over my shoulder in support and I glance at him. “Call the doc.”
* * *
My father’s funeral is set for the following week, allowing everyone the time needed to travel if they want to. Aodhan and my father already made preparations during the many months that Aodhan stayed home, and I’ve never felt more appreciation for my brother. It didn’t surprise me that my father chose to be buried in the same place as my mother.
The car is unusually quiet, odd for when Cillian is driving since the menace can never stop causing trouble. But Isabelle holds my hand as we drive through Jersey City to the cemetery, and a long parade of cars follows behind us.
“When we get there, I need you to wait in the car for a bit until we know it’s secure,” I tell Isabelle.
She frowns. “I can’t go with you?”
I shake my head. “Since it’s a public affair, we’re all like sitting ducks, and I want to ensure we’re safe before having you at my side.”
“So you’re the bait? I don’t want you to get hurt either.”
My thumb rubs against her skin. “If there is anyone here that poses a threat, they're less likely to attack me outright…showing my face first is a sign of strength.”
“Whoever attacks at a funeral is deplorable. Where’s the human decency?”
Cillian snorts from the front seat at Isabelle’s exclamation and a smile twists on my lips. I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it right on her tattoo. She shivers and I glance at her, images of last night flashing through my mind. Her back arched as I pounded into her from behind, my hands sliding to rub at her belly, knowing our heir is growing in there. Isabelle tsks, as if she knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“Rein it in, you pervert.”
A low chuckle rolls out of my throat. “I can’t help it. I love that you’re carrying my child, just thinking about it makes me hard.” I find comfort in her body, a distraction from the grief that’s threatening to take over.
She rolls her eyes. “Wait until I’m large and barely able to move. We’ll see how you feel then.”
“I bet the sight will be even more enticing.”
The humor drops off as we park behind the hearse and my heart jerks at the sight, knowing my father is lying inside. He chose a polished black casket with silver lining and handles. I swallow down the emotions and let go of Isabelle.
“Cormac will come get you, okay?”
She nods before grabbing my face and then pecking my lips. Her eyes shift between mine. “I’ll be waiting, husband.”
My mouth quirks. “See you soon, wife.”
Aodhan and Cillian follow me out of the car and I stand straighter, walking to the hearse where I speak to the priest for a few moments as we work out the logistics. By the time we discuss the path and guide the crowd where we want, the rest of the brotherhood has shown up. I glance over my shoulder, catching Isabelle standing beside Cormac patiently. She nods and I blow out a breath.
The ache clawing inside me as I grab the cool metal on the side of the casket grows as I watch my brothers surround all sides and we lift as one. I blink away tears as we start carrying my father to his final resting place. The eerie silence besides the crunch of the dirt with our steps as we walk is ringing in my ears.
Years of missions and dangerous situations that they’ve saved me, but I’ve never felt closer to the men walking beside me as I do right now. As soon as we place the casket on the lift, we step back and stand shoulder to shoulder, staring down at the man who raised us.
“Go n-éirí leat,” Cillian says hoarsely, and low laughter breaks out.
I shake my head, thankful for him as we break apart. I feel her presence beside me. I breathe a little easier with her there.
She’s like a queen, standing strongly at my side. Her hand is wrapped tight around my elbow as we listen to the priest say his blessings over the casket. Aodhan, Cillian, and Cormac stand at my back. The only one missing is Aisling, but I can feel her presence so I know she’s near.
If Aoife hadn’t just given birth last night, I know that Declan would be here too. There’s a small crowd gathered on the other side of the open plot, most of the families paying their respects but keeping their distance. Isabelle’s curious gaze roams over them, probably trying to see if she recognizes any of the men that randomly stop by our home sometimes.
It’s a gloomy day, the sun barely peeking out from behind the clouds as it looms over us. It would have been poetic if it was raining, and my father would have been laughing from beyond at all of us miserably standing huddled under umbrellas. The thought has a small smile pulling at the corner of my lips.
As the priest moves onto the rest of the traditions, I barely pay attention. My stare doesn’t stray from his casket, and I think about how much heavier this is than my mother’s funeral. Granted, I was only eighteen and full of anger more than anything else, but at least my father had been at my side that day. Somebody who understood the depth of my grief.
Movement to my left catches my eye and I watch curiously as Sebastian James sidles up to my side. I hadn’t expected to see him, and I’ll have to ask how he got through my men without a word back to me.
“I thought you left to go back home already. That’s the intel I was given,” I say under my breath.
Sebastian’s lips quirk. “Good, that’s what I was hoping for. My jet is fueled and ready for whenever I leave here.”
I nod, unsure why he decided to make an appearance at all.
He looks around, his hands shoved in the pockets of his coat then steps closer. “I heard back from an old friend, the fish fell for the bait, hook and whatever.”
Rolling my eyes, a smile plays on my mouth. “Thanks.”
Sebastian sighs. “Yup. And I’m sorry about your dad. I know we see a lot of death, but it never gets easier when it’s someone we care about.”
I swallow down the ache building in my throat.
His icy stare locks with mine, an understanding passing between us before he clears his throat. “I won’t be back in the states for several months. Can I reach out when everything is in place?”
My eyebrows knit in momentary confusion before I remember exactly what we promised. “Yes.”
With another nod, he leaves us there and Isabelle doesn’t comment on the strange conversation. If she has questions, I will answer them, but I think today has already taken its toll on her.
I look down when I feel her fingers slide into mine. My eyes catch hers when I look up. She’s watching me with a stoic expression. “Am I allowed to hold your hand in public like this?”
Squeezing her hand, I nod. “Yeah, baby. You’re allowed to do whatever you want.” I don’t care if anyone frowns upon it. I need her more than I need the opinions of some old twats with their pride stuck in the past.
* * *
My arm is wrapped around Isabelle, keeping her at my side. The men in the house are getting rambunctious, which is to be expected at a wake, but my heart isn’t in it. I want nothing more than to disappear upstairs with my wife and just lie in bed.
She leans her head into my chest and looks up at me. A soft smile graces her lips. “The day is almost done.”
I nod, knowing she’s trying to comfort me. We break apart as another person comes up to offer their condolences and clinks their beer against mine. The beer I’ve been holding for hours now, warm and barely drunk. I have no desire to drink.
It’s been a constant stream of families, and I know Aodhan has tried to shoulder most of it. They mostly want to see me and Isabelle because the rumor she is pregnant has spread like wildfire, which makes me feel incredibly murderous. All of us are furious to the point Cormac is determined to hunt down the rat that didn’t keep their mouth shut.
Cillian makes his way to me, anger set in his face, and I watch him with furrowed eyebrows. He gives Isabelle a stiff smile before leaning down to my ear.
“A is in the garage.”
I blink, stunned by his words and turn to him. “Why?”
“Said it couldn’t be missed.”
Handing him my beer, I grab Isabelle’s hand and drag her to the back of the house. And just like Cillian said, Aisling is in the garage, her fingers running over some tools before turning to look up at us as we enter. Her hair is a dark brown and her usual blue eyes are hidden under brown contacts.
“Aisling.” Emotion claws at my throat and she rushes to hug me. My arms wrap around her, squeezing her to my chest. If my father had to pick a favorite, it would have always been her and we all know that.
She sniffles and pulls away before pulling Isabelle into an equally crushing hug. Isabelle gasps in surprise and hugs her back.
Aisling pulls away, wiping tears from her face. “I was there this morning at the cemetery. Only for a few minutes but I just had to be there.”
“We would have understood if you couldn’t,” I tell her.
Grief flashes in her eyes and she shakes her head. “Nothing was going to make me miss it, even if I had to blow my cover.”
“You’re undercover here? At home?” Isabelle asks, glancing at me.
My jaw works back and forth, debating what I should tell her. Aisling watches me curiously before I sigh. “She’s with Luca.”
Isabelle nods, her eyebrows crinkling and her lips twisting slightly in the corner. “You should talk to my brother before you leave. He was close to Luca for years and might be able to give you information.”
My eyes widen, her response unexpected. Aisling’s expression mirrors mine.
“You trust him not to tell Luca?”
Isabelle laughs, but it’s empty. “That bridge is burned.”
Aisling looks at me and I nod. “I’ll have Cillian bring him to the poolhouse.”
She smiles and kisses me on the cheek, her hand rubbing at the smeared lipstick before doing the same to Isabelle. Her hand then drops to Isabelle’s belly. “I promise to be back before this baby is born. I’ve missed so much, I won’t miss another birth.”
“We’ll pull you out if need be,” I tell her, agreeing with the fact that we’ve all missed so much. Most of us have spent time spread across the world gathering information, and it doesn’t seem worth much now.
“It was nice to finally meet you,” Isabelle says warmly just before Aisling slips out the door and heads to the back of the house.
I lean against the tool bench, rubbing my face in exhaustion. My wife leans next to me with crossed arms.
“I just realized it’s going to get worse, isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
She sighs, moving closer to me. “Well now you’re officially the head of the family. They’re all going to come to you, come after you.”
Rubbing my thumb along my bottom lip, I look at her, amused. “Baby, I’ve been at the top awhile now. The only thing that’s gonna get worse is the respect from the traditionalists. They’re gonna blame me for everything that goes wrong and curse the fact that my father died. He was the last link to Ireland, most of us are too Americanized for their tastes.”
She grimaces. “Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to run away from it all.”
I pull her into my arms, hug her close to my chest, and kiss the tip of her nose. “Perhaps, but what a boring life that would be.”
Her eyebrows raise. “You say that now, but once we have a couple kids, life will be anything but boring.”
My cock twitches. “You're already planning for more, huh? I mean I don’t mind trying, practicing…”
She rolls her eyes, then glances around. “Like right now?”
Before I can even think about fulfilling that request, Aodhan opens the garage door and nods for me to come back in. “We have a special delivery.”
Isabelle’s nails dig into my arm. “If it's a dismembered body part, I will hurl.”
I look at Aodhan expectantly and he smirks. “It’s flowers.”
Laughing, I pinch her chin. “Such a bloodthirsty little mind.”
Isabelle scowls, pushing away from me and wagging her finger between us. “Don’t act like that wasn’t entirely possible.”
Aodhan leads us back to the side driveway, where there’s an obnoxious amount of flowers displayed.
I stare at the large vase, feeling a buzzing in my ear that starts to tingle through my skin. Aodhan approaches with a card, his jaw tight with anger, and I already know who they are from.
“My condolences. With sincerity, Luca,” he reads out loud.
Isabelle’s nails dig into my arm as I grind my teeth.
“He’s mocking me.”
“Is it possible he really means it?” she asks softly.
I scoff, shrugging out of her hold and gesturing to Cillian to give me the rigged lighter he always carries. He smirks and hands it over, then I glance at Isabelle.
“The whole point of an arranged marriage is to broker peace, and yet Luca continues to disrespect and undermine me. And went as far to attack my wife on his territory. We agreed to peace for the sake of our dying fathers and he spat all over it. Now he dares send flowers at my father’s wake? I’m going to kill the fucking bastard one day.” I spit at the flowers before pressing the lighter and dousing them in flames. They light up quickly, the growing fire eating at the wilting petals.
Isabelle steps away as the heat grows, but I don’t look away till it’s a burned bundle of ash. My back straightens when Ricky comes to stand next to me, glaring down at the burned flowers. He and his parents came to help with the wake, mostly as an extra set of eyes on Isabelle and more hands in the kitchen to help Deirdre.
“You were with him the longest. What do you think? Was this sent with sincerity?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “Before the shooting, I would have said yes. But now I don’t know.”
Isabelle rubs my back. “Mama says Deirdre is ready to start dinner prep and wants to know if they should try to prepare enough for everyone here. Or just the brotherhood like we planned.”
“I’m not going to kick anyone out of the house that wants to be here,” I mutter under my breath. Exhaustion is weighing me down and I look at Aodhan. “I’m going to rest upstairs. Don’t let anyone up.”
He nods and Isabelle falls in step with me.
“You can go help cook if you want.”
She squeezes our entwined fingers. “I want to be where you are.”
The farther up the stairs we go, the easier it is to breathe. The noise lessens and the tension in my shoulders fades. My heart still aches and tears prickle in the back of my eyes.
When we get to our bedroom, I shrug out of my suit jacket and shirt before shucking off my pants and flopping onto the bed in my boxer briefs. Isabelle strips out of her dress and climbs onto the bed next to me, cuddling into my side, and I close my eyes.
Her nail traces shapes on my chest as we lie there in silence.
“They’re both gone.”
Her hand pauses and my fingers dig into the flesh of her hip, holding her to me.
“Both of my parents are gone and now I’m all alone.”
“You’re not alone, Rian,” she whispers, and I feel the brush of her lips as she kisses my chest. “You have the brotherhood and you have…me and our baby.”
I swallow down the emotion building in my throat. “I didn’t even get to tell him he’s gonna be a grandda.”
Isabelle moves over and straddles me. Her hands cup my face and I open my eyes to stare up at her. “You can’t think like that. They know, okay? And our baby has two angels who will love and protect them more than anyone else.”
“I can’t lose you,” I confess in a hoarse whisper.
Tears well in Isabelle’s eyes. “You won’t. We had an untraditional beginning, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m here to stay, Rian. I love you.”
Heavy relief blows out of my lungs and I hold her to my chest. They’re words I dreamed of hearing from her, but them actually falling from her lips is like the first breath after you struggle to the surface. “So if you could go back to that night, you’d choose me again?”
She laughs softly and leans down, pressing a kiss against my lips. “I think even if I knew you were bluffing about telling everyone, I’d still marry you.”
“I bartered with your heart, and I won.”
She rolls her eyes. “You bartered with my innocence as if you didn’t already have a winning hand.”
I pull her into a kiss, overwhelmed I get to keep her forever.