Prologue
Gianna
Six years ago
I don’t remember how I returned to my dorm room, but I remember briefly stopping to throw up in the closest patch of grass. I remember the bite of the cold as I walked the few miles from the bar to campus, though I could barely see the sidewalk before me. I can still taste the bitter bile. I wipe my mouth, and my hands shake as I try to unlock the door, my vision still blurry.
When the key finally finds its place, I turn the lock and step into my dark room. The piercing trills of my phone ringing have me screaming. I drop my keys and pull out the loud device, bile threatening to come back up at the sight of the flashing name.
“Hello?” I answer, my voice hoarse.
“Where are you?” he asks. I can hear the buzz of the crowded bar in the background.
I flip the light on, looking around the room. I have maybe 10 minutes before he makes his way back here if I give him any inclination I’m not coming.
“I spilled on my outfit. I needed to shower again. I’m almost ready, and I’ll head over.”
There’s a brief silence before he sighs. “You sound…”
“Long day,” I drawl, my eyes watering from the anxiety he might just come here. “I promise I’m almost on my way.”
“Alright,” he finally agrees. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Yup, love you,” I force myself to say, knowing it will keep him off my case.
He hangs up promptly like he usually does when I say those words. I breathe out a sigh of relief and call my brother immediately. I grab my backpack, balancing the phone on my shoulder as I pull out the binders and books.
“Hey, G.”
“I need to leave. Like right now.” I cry, my tears finally falling.
“What?” My brother’s voice is strained in reaction to my desperation. “What happened, Gianna? Did he hurt you?”gian
I shove my school supplies under my bed, keeping them from view as I turn to my closet to grab a few things. I have to make it look normal, untouched, as if he just missed me when he eventually came looking.
“No, no. I can’t explain too much right now. Can you get me out and make sure he can’t find me?”
I move to the attached bathroom, grabbing my contact lenses and birth control. The latter falls as I rush back into the room.
“Shit,” I curse at the packets spread out on the floor.
“What?” Matt demands. I can hear him yelling at a few other people in the background. I’m sure it’s the guys he works with. My brother owns a well-known security company, and I trust him to get me out of this.
“Nothing, I’m packing. Can I explain later?” I plead, remembering the breathing exercises he taught me to stay calm. “I need to leave, please.”
I kneel as I start picking up the medication, pausing when I grab the first packet. I pull it out of the sleeve, looking at the dark pink color of the pill, and then grab my current one on my nightstand. My stomach twists when I see the difference. Maybe it’s paranoia speaking, but I’m sure these are not the same. I get mine in packages for 6 months at a time, and I had just opened this one.
There’s not a doubt in my mind he wouldn’t purposely try to knock me up. He’s done nothing but talk about us getting married and having kids. I always laugh it off, especially since it’s coming from a man who won’t even confess his feelings.
“GIANNA!” My brother’s yell snaps me back, and I realize I had dropped the phone.
“I’m sorry, I’m here,” I squeak, throwing my medication under the bed as well. I’m not going to chance taking that with me.
“Fifteen minutes. There will be a car in fifteen minutes. Are you—” My brother pauses. “Is that too long?”
“I’m safe at the moment.”
I can hear his exhale, and then he’s back into work mode. “Pack light. Grab only essentials. Wear darker clothes to blend into the night. I’ll see you soon.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, my throat threatening to close up with emotion.
He sighs. “You’re always my first priority. If you’re not in that car in— thirteen minutes, my guys have been given permission to use any force necessary.”
“I understand,” I tell him, shoving the last few items into my backpack as he hangs up. I’m just zipping it up when I can hear the lock on my door turning, and I shove my bag into my desk chair.
There’s only one person who has their own key to my room. His icy eyes catch mine as he steps through the door.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my heart pounding. I don’t think my phone call with Matt was that long, but I can’t glance at the time to confirm since my phone is packed.
“I thought I would walk you back once you’re done getting ready.” He steps closer, and I try to relax the tension in my body. He pauses, his eyes narrowing, and they drag down the length of my body. I’m in the same legging and shirt he saw me in this morning. I’d hoped he wouldn’t notice. I have to think of a way to distract him.
I shift, cocking my hip and placing my hand on it with a grin. “Well, that’s perfect.”
“Is it?”
I nod, stepping closer to him, praying my hands don’t shake as I grab his shirt and push my body against his. “Yes, because now I don’t have to drag you back. We can just stay here.”
He lifts an eyebrow, “You don’t want to go? It’s Friday.”
“Nope,” I pop the word with my lips and flutter my eyelashes at him. I trace a finger up the middle of his shirt, hooking it at the parted top so the next button comes undone. “I had an exciting class today and wanted to try something new.”
His hands snap around me, startling me as they grip my hip and the other around the back of my nape, keeping my head back and facing him. “And you didn’t say anything earlier because?”
I bite my bottom nervously, blinking once slowly. “I’m a bit embarrassed to ask.”
The heat in his eyes flares, and he keeps his hold tight as he walks me backward to the bed. Right when the back of my knees reach the edge of the mattress, I push at his chest to stop.
“The lesson was about empowerment. Women's empowerment and how a little control in the bedroom could potentially be a boost in confidence.”
“Control?” he asks, his face unreadable.
“Now, lay down.” I push against his chest again, making him take a step back. I smirk, lean over and open the nightstand, and grab the silk ties he uses on me regularly.
Sebastian stares at me silently for a few seconds before moving around to sit on my bed. I wave my hand, telling him to scoot back more, and he squints his eyes.
“One time,” I beg, pouting. “And then you can do whatever you want. Nothing off limits.”
His tongue drags across his bottom lip, and he flashes his teeth wickedly. “Nothing? You said I was never allowed back there again.”
I shrug, pushing against his shoulders to move him back more. I hover above him on my knees, my thighs straddling his legs. “You have to promise to be gentler this time. It hurt for days after.”
“I can’t control the size of my dick, Anna.” He chuckles, lazily moving his wrists so they rest against the bars of my headboard.
My heart is pounding, and my stomach feels like it’s filled with lead as I tightly tie the soft material around them. I lick my lips as I lean back, drop my weight on his lap, and grind once against his hardened length. He jerks, his arms trying to snap forward but only managing to swing an inch.
I smile smugly at him.
He shakes his head, his lips curling up. “One time. And we keep this between us.”
I roll my eyes and hop off the bed, moving to the second drawer of my nightstand and grabbing the kit Matt forces me to keep. When my hand touches the zip ties, I glance at Sebastian, who is watching me suspiciously.
“This is my limit, Anna. You’re not sticking anything up my ass,” he growls.
My heart aches when I realize my life is about to change. Once I finish my task, I’ll have to run and hope he can’t follow me. A part of me already misses the way he holds and kisses me and the softer side of him only I see. I’m about to destroy that side of him, and I know that. He may have never told me how he felt, but sometimes I swear I could feel his feelings as if they were my own.
“You sure? You might like it?” I tease him, thankful my voice doesn’t sound strained.
“I’m fucking—” I stand up quickly and climb over him, looping the plastic around one wrist and shoving it into the end piece. I pull it on tightly till it cuts into the flesh of his wrist and rubs against the silk. He hisses, his knee coming up to buck me over him. My head slams against the wall and my vision spots. Sebastian thrusts under me, trying to dislodge me further, his other wrist pulling harshly against the silk, trying to loosen the knot. I shake my head, dropping my weight against his chest, and hear him grunt out a harsh breath. I get the other zip tie around the bar of my headboard, and his arm tries to knock against mine before I successfully get the end of it in and pull on it desperately. Each click of the zip tie tightening echoes around me, as if I’m being enclosed in my coffin and listening to it being nailed shut.
“UNDO THIS NOW!” Sebastian bellows, and I scramble off him. His face is flushed with anger, and his eyes are cold as they stare at me. His chest heaves as his arms keep pulling at where he’s tied to my bed.
“Are my birth control pills fake?” I ask, needing that small peace of mind that I was right. It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done, but I would tack it onto the growing list.
He stills “Is that what this is about?”
“Are they fake?” I repeat.
“What does it matter? You’re having my children either way.”
I huff out an exasperated breath. “It matters because it’s my choice. Not yours.” I also need him to think that’s why I’m upset and not because of what I witnessed earlier.
I rub my forehead where it clashed with the wall and step farther away from him, grabbing my bag. I make my way to the door, exhausted from the entire night.
“Anna. If you leave me like this, you will regret it.” His voice is firm, cold, and impersonal.
I look back at him with a sad smile. “Goodbye, Sebastian.”