Chapter 12 #3
“Yes. The dog was already gone and there was nothing left for me there, so I left Washington. No one needed me anymore. I didn’t really know what to do with myself and it probably sounds weird that I would miss someone like Simone, but I did.
She wasn’t always angry,” I said. “We used to sew together, up until the machine seized up and she threw it through the front window.” I’d fixed things by covering the opening with a big board that had made the house very dark.
“We used to eat dinner together and talk sometimes, and I guess you get used to things. You get in the habit of them, even if they’re not great.
” I had done that with Damian, too. If they hadn’t left me in Indianapolis, how long would I have stayed with them? “Do you know what I mean?” I asked.
“Did I get used to things?” He thought. “I guess that I did. None of the crap that went on with my mom was good for a kid but it felt normal. I’d go into foster care for a while and everything would change, then I’d be back with her and have to deal with it all again. It was confusing.”
“I can understand why it made you mad.”
“I wish that I’d handled it better. I wish I had let go of it sooner, too,” he answered. “Too late to fix it now, but things are going my way despite how I acted.”
“Things are going your way because of how you acted since then. They’re coming around,” I told him.
“I keep telling you that’s meant for bad—what was that noise?”
It was the dishwasher. It had broken again.
It did take us a little while to clean up from the party, but it had been worth it.
I had been happy to get to know some of those people better and to entertain them, even if there had been a lot of dishes to wash by hand.
Maybe we would do it again, at Christmas.
That would come soon—the postseason was just around the corner.
Beau was late for three of the next four days that we were supposed to be working together at the office, because his son was sick and they were having issues with childcare.
“It’s just a cold but I hate to leave him,” he told me.
He looked at the door as he spoke, as if he might have made a run for it, in order to head back to his little boy.
“It’s harder for Victoria to change around her schedule. ”
It was hard for us, too, although he didn’t seem to realize it as much.
“I took your meeting this morning with Madison in Chicago,” I said.
I had checked in and realized that Beau wasn’t showing up, and I’d only had time to put on a nice blouse and not the pants I had planned for the rest of my outfit.
Then I’d sat at my kitchen table and said hello to the client.
I’d kept the dog quiet for the entire time by secretly tossing bits of cheese to him.
When it was done, I’d put on my pants and then dropped off Maverick at his daycare, and I’d still made it here before Beau. “Could we look at the schedule for the next few days to see what’s coming up? We could figure out how to cover for you, if we need to,” I suggested.
I wasn’t sure if he’d heard. “What did Madison have to say at the meeting? Was he happy with my proposal?” Beau asked me.
I followed him into his office to explain that the client hadn’t been totally happy but I thought we had come to an understanding, kind of. “He seemed to be pretty mad that you weren’t there,” I said.
Beau’s face fell. “Oh. I should have been, but I don’t know how we would have handled Finley. What was I supposed to do?”
I had no idea, so I just stood there in silence. He seemed to wait for a second for me to come up with a solution before he sighed and said, “I’ll call him and apologize.”
“After you do that, then we could go over the schedule to see where you’re really needed, and maybe you and Victoria can discuss how you can get coverage for those things,” I continued, and he seemed to think that was a good plan.
I went back to my desk and got busy with the tasks that had piled up from when we’d been away for the short Thanksgiving break.
This job still made me nervous in a way, because things changed so often.
Almost everything depended on the whims of clients and now on the health of my boss’s son.
Life with Damian had been vague and unscheduled, too, but it hadn’t bothered me then.
It was bothering me a lot today, because that meeting with Madison had been very nerve-racking.
He’d been mad and I’d been panicking because I wasn’t prepared, which was another funny thing.
Had I ever cared when I hadn’t done homework, or if bills hadn’t been paid?
Had I minded when I didn’t know which city we were visiting next or that I also didn’t know where we currently were?
I had let Millie handle every detail, just like Damian had done.
I would have sat there and pondered the change in me, but there was too much to accomplish. I worked steadily until Beau said something about lunch and I realized that I really was hungry.