Bodhi
“Any last questions?” I ask, making pointed eye contact with each of the three marked ones.
My heart beats wildly as we stand at the edge of the forest, but I keep my facial expression neutral.
Telling them I’m terrified, too, isn’t going to help our cause, and while dragons enjoy deference, they tend to make overly scared cadets crispy.
And if there’s one thing I’ve gotten good at, it’s keeping my feelings to myself.
“Watch your backs for petty cadets bearing grudges. Find your dragons. Don’t die. Pretty sure that sums it up.” Imogen Cardulo blows a strand of short pink hair out of her eyes before leveling me with a look that says my pre-Threshing motivational speech wasn’t all that motivating.
Can’t blame her. I’m not exactly a leader, nor have I ever wanted to be one.
My cousin, Xaden, got all the inspirational, magnetic genes in the family, and I received whatever was left over.
Usually, I’m perfectly fine with the distribution of our talents.
He was born to lead the duchy of Aretia, and that kind of magnetism doesn’t fade just because Navarre stripped my uncle of his title before they executed him and my parents in the same manner as our city.
I’m skilled at keeping everything running in the background so Xaden can be free to do Xaden-like shit.
I’m also really damn good at keeping Xaden from being too much…
Xaden. It’s a fine balance between supporting my cousin and making sure his ruthless ass doesn’t end up executed, too.
Most days, I’m content with that role. But today, I’d love to have an ounce of the confidence that landed him Sgaeyl, making him one of the most powerful riders in the quadrant as a second-year.
Today, I’d love to have the power he does to inspire others and take away my friends’ fear.
But more than anything, just for today, I want to walk into this forest as my own man, to be seen as more than Xaden Riorson’s cousin.
As it is, sometimes I feel like I’m one of Kaori’s projections of Xaden; I resemble him enough to earn both hatred and respect, depending on who’s looking, but lack the power to make the same impact he does.
But I told Xaden I’d lead the others when I can, and Durrans don’t go back on their word. I promised my father I never would, and I meant it.
“I think we’ve got it,” Ciaran agrees, his complexion a little ruddier than normal today.
“Good—” I spare a glance over his shoulder at where Colonel Aetos is talking to his son, and my heart rate skyrockets when I catch the colonel watching us.
“We need to break this up. Now.” We’re at an official quadrant event, but the four of us being alone together lands us in a gray area when it comes to the Code of Conduct.
The others look back and all of them tense, even Imogen.
“Stick to the west,” I remind them. “We’ll meet up tonight.”
We nod at one another, then split up, heading into the shaded forest. I take the westernmost path as instructed, and the others disappear behind the countless varieties of trees.
“You did well with the speech.”
“For fuck’s sake!” My hand flies to the center of my chest as Xaden appears at my side as though he’d been walking there the entire time.
I shake my head. “You have to stop doing that.” He’s become a menace with those shadows of his, but I’m grateful for the cover they provide when we need secrecy.
Which is pretty much always around here.
“Do I, though?” His smirk fades quickly. “I mean it. You did well with the others. Ciaran left with more conviction than he arrived with.”
“I could have done better, but I’m not you.” It comes out a little more petulant than I’d prefer.
“No one asked you to be.” He shoots me a look, then grasps my shoulders and turns me, stopping us in the middle of the forest. His eyes bore into mine as he leans down slightly, bringing our gazes level. “Bodhi, no one asks, expects, or wants you to be me.”
“Yeah.” I force a quick, easy grin. “Of course. Only if you die, right?”
Naturally, he sees straight through it.
“I’m not going to die, and even if I did, we’re no longer held to the heir and spare positions.” He lifts the eyebrow Sgaeyl scarred last year. “We have no title to defend anymore, remember?”
“True.” I sigh. “But the council—”
“Fuck the council. I’m doing more than enough to keep them happy.
” He clasps the back of my neck. “You are exceptional, and worth a thousand of me. You are calm when I’m unreasonable and steady when I’m volatile.
You inherited every admirable quality of your mother’s while I seem to have acquired every disreputable one from my father.
” He lets me go, then ruffles the tight curls on the top of my head like we’re kids again.
“Being too much like me would only detract from your excellence.”
“Thanks.” My barely there smile is genuine this time, and we begin walking again, heading deeper into the forest. That’s another skill he’s developed in the last year that I lack—the gift of saying whatever someone needs to hear at the exact moment they need to hear it.
“You’re not supposed to be out here, you know. ”
“I’m observing.” His shrug raises, then lowers the swords he keeps strapped to his back.
I prefer mine at my hip. “Not interfering?”
“As if I would ever break the Codex when no one’s looking,” he quips sarcastically.
“So you’re just observing me?” My back stiffens. “Why? Because you don’t think I’ll make it on my own?”
“No,” he counters. “I’m just here to pass a mess—” He throws his hand in front of me, effectively halting our steps, and his head swings left.
A second later, I hear voices approaching from the southeast.
Fuck, even Xaden’s hearing is better than mine.
“I just don’t think it’s fair that they get the same chances we do,” a guy whines as he walks with three other cadets from First Wing.
I know that voice. It’s the cadet who broke Norwood’s nose during breakfast a few days ago.
He and his friends have made the lives of the marked ones in First Wing painful.
Shadows swirl around Xaden and me as we move quietly to the shelter of the nearest tree.
“Their parents nearly tore this kingdom apart,” a girl agrees.
Awesome. They’re talking about us. My jaw clenches. If they had any idea what’s really happening beyond our borders, maybe they’d understand the choices our parents made.
“Right?” the first replies. “And now they have two squad leaders. Can you imagine graduating and being put under the command of a fucking separatist’s kid?”
Xaden’s mouth quirks upward, and I fight a grin.
The fact that both he and Garrick are squad leaders in our wing may aggravate the shit out of the Navarrians, but it’s a point of pride to those of us who wear rebellion relics.
Only exceptional cadets are chosen to be squad leaders, and knowing Xaden and Garrick have both risen to leadership gives hope to the rest of us that we won’t be judged only on the actions of our parents but might be allowed to stand on our own merit.
We didn’t choose to be here, but we can make our own decisions now that we are.
“It’s bad enough to have one Riorson in charge, but his doppelg?nger is coming up through Fourth Wing right underneath him,” another girl complains, their voices growing louder as they come closer.
My smile slips. Do Xaden and I look alike? Sure, that’s genetics. But we have different eyes, complexions, hair, and builds. He’s got two inches and at least twenty pounds on me.
Xaden catches my eye, lifts his hand, then points toward the south, where flashes of red peek through the dense trees.
A Red Scorpiontail is approaching. I stare at the glistening ruby scales and focus inward, trying to locate whatever Kaori insists we’ll feel when we know a particular dragon is ours.
“And you know they’re helping each other,” the first guy mutters. “Durran fights just like Riorson. It’s why he hasn’t lost a single challenge yet.”
Both Xaden and I grin. Fine. That’s true.
I can’t wait to see their faces when Liam gets here next year and destroys them all on the mat.
Xaden spent years training him. My fingers skim the newly sewn Gauntlet patch on my chest. I bet Liam wears one just like this next year, too. He’s the best of us.
The red appears fully, stepping into the wide space between two trees, and my heartbeat falters as it growls at the cadets. Kaori’s projections are great, but they don’t come close to capturing how menacing, how petrifying they are up close. Or how many teeth they have.
“Relax,” Xaden whispers. “It’s not going to scorch you.”
Like that’s supposed to comfort me?
“How the fuck would you know?” I reply just as quietly.
The cadets turn as a group to face the red, and the first fool draws a sword.
“We’re supposed to approach from the right!” the girl insists, darting to the right.
No, no. Reds prefer the left.
The dragon tracks the movement, then lifts a single claw and smashes the cadet straight into the ground with a nauseating series of crunching sounds.
Oh, fuck.
“Stupid,” Xaden whispers, but he doesn’t move.
We should warn them about being in a group. Even if they hate us for existing, it’s the right thing to do. I open my mouth—
“Desi!” the guy with the sword shouts.
The dragon curls its tongue, and fire erupts from its mouth, streaming out in a flow that reminds me of lava. The cadets don’t even have time to scream before they’re cremated. Smoke drifts from the vicinity of where they stood as the dragon huffs once, then turns west.
Just like that, four cadets are dead.
“And that’s why you don’t approach in groups,” Xaden says. “Norwood will sleep easier tonight.”
I take a single step beyond the tree and watch the scorpiontail depart.
“Let’s go.”
“What if it’s mine?” I continue watching the red flick its tail.
“It’s not,” he says with such certainty that I turn back to face him, lifting my brows.
“According to whom?”