Chapter 3
CEDRIC
The diner Ozzie picked was only three blocks over, so we walked. I’d been there a few years ago, but it wasn’t one of my usual spots. When we got there, he held the door for me without making it weird and waited for me to slide into the window booth before taking the seat across from me.
"So, tell me about yourself." He glanced at the menu for a moment then put it aside like he already knew what he wanted. "What do you do for a living?"
"Purchasing. For a medical supply distributor." I picked at the edge of my own menu with my eyes glued to the list of burgers. "Mostly I sit in front of two monitors and argue with vendors about payment terms and bulk discounts."
He raised an eyebrow with a hint of amusement in his eyes. "That sounds soul-crushing."
"It is." I almost smiled too, but the strips on my cheek pulled when I did, reminding me not to. "But I’ve got a ton of stock options, so I’m just waiting for them to go public. What about you? You said you’re in banking, right?"
Ozzie nodded and leaned back as the server put two glasses of water in front of us. I ordered a cheeseburger with fries, and Ozzie ordered a wedge salad. As boring as it was, I was curious to watch his technique for eating it.
When we were alone again, he finally answered me. "Yeah, basically. I’m in commercial lending, so I help small businesses get loans they probably shouldn't get." He winked when I met his stare. "I'm kidding. Well, mostly."
"I bet you are." It was nice to have a normal conversation with someone. He didn’t know my secrets or my past. Well, not all of them. Just the most recent incident…and he still wanted to hang out with me.
"What can I say? I'm good at my job." He chuckled and took a sip of his water. "It's not exciting, but I enjoy it.”
“You like spreadsheets and risk models?" I took a drink too. “What kind of monster are you?”
He shrugged and lowered his voice. “Solving problems is fun for me.”
I was just kidding, but his confession hit me in the gut. Was that what we were doing? Was I a problem he was trying to solve? If so, he was gonna be disappointed because I wasn’t the kind of problem that a pep talk could just fix.
He must have felt the air between us changing because he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "How long have you lived in the building?"
"Couple years now." I leaned back, deciding how much I wanted to reveal. Then I remembered that it didn’t matter what I said. He already knew one of the things I never would have admitted to him, so everything else was inconsequential. "I moved in right after college. Never got around to leaving.”
He ran his finger through the condensation on his glass. "You went to school here?"
"Yeah, I got a business degree and got a job at the company where I interned. That’s how I got into purchasing. It's not glamorous, but it pays the rent." I opened a straw wrapper and dropped it into my glass for something to do with my hands. "What about you? Did you grow up around here?"
"Nah, I’m from a small town about two hours north. My parents are still there." He smiled when he mentioned his family, which probably meant they were good to him. "I moved here for the job and stayed because I never had a reason to leave."
I grinned. "Same energy as me, basically."
"Basically."
The food came a few minutes later, and we stopped talking while we tucked in.
When we were about halfway through, Ozzie put his fork down and wiped the corners of his mouth. "Can I ask you something?"
I braced a little for what was coming. "Um, sure."
"That guy last night." He chose his words carefully, like he'd been rehearsing how to bring up the topic we’d both been avoiding. "Who was he? To you, I mean."
I'd known this was coming and was almost relieved to just lay it all out there. I picked up a fry and dragged it through ketchup before eating it, buying myself a few seconds to think. "Mitch is a guy I saw a few times. We met on Grindr about a month ago."
"A month?" He cocked his head, surprised by that answer. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he wasn’t surprised I’d met Mitch on Grindr. “So it was serious?”
"No, not really." I shrugged like I didn't want it to mean anything because now it mostly didn't. "It was supposed to be a one-time thing, ya know. But he didn't take the hint when I told him that, and he kept coming around."
Ozzie's jaw tightened slightly. "He kept coming back even after you told him it was done?"
"Yep. He sent texts all day about how he wasn’t gay, but then he showed up outside my work.
A total stalker situation." I kept my eyes on my plate, humiliated that I’d invited someone so unhinged into my life.
"Last night was the first time he left himself in with a key I didn’t know he had.
I told him to leave and never come back, and that pissed him off… You can see what happened after that.”
He was quiet for a second before he looked up at me with an unreadable expression. "What did you see in a guy like that? Why would you even bring him to your apartment?"
"Because I'm an idiot, apparently."
"That's not what I mean and you know it, Cedric."
I looked up and locked eyes with him. He wasn't being mean, but he also wasn't gonna let me ignore him. And something about the way he looked at me almost made me want to answer. Almost.
"Why do you even care? Just because we’re neighbors doesn’t mean you have to rescue me..."
"Honestly, I don't know." He picked up his fork and then put it down again. "I guess I’ve seen some things that concerned me, but I thought I needed to mind my own business. The people leaving always looked a little…rough. And they just didn’t seem right for you.
Then last night, when I saw all the cops at your place, I panicked and realized I should've said something a long time ago. "
Wow. That was the last thing I expected to hear from him.
He’d been keeping an eye on me. That was both embarrassing and…
kinda sweet. "Well, as you can guess, I don’t have the best track record with men.
I usually go for guys who are mean and kinda unstable.
" I said it lightly, like it was a joke, even though it definitely wasn’t.
"Big, rough… I don't know. It's a type."
"Why don’t you like nice guys?" He seemed wounded by that fact, and maybe afraid of the answer.
"I don't know. I just don’t." I looked away and took another bite. "You know what they say. Any attention is good attention."
He growled a little, and I looked up. Something shifted in his face, and that patient look he'd had all day was gone.
"No, Cedric. Good attention is good attention. You deserve someone who’s kind to you.
Someone who actually gives a damn whether you're okay or not.
You shouldn't settle for someone just because they're paying attention to you, Cedric. That's not okay."
My face heated up, and it wasn’t from the cut on my cheek. "Yeah, well." I tried to keep my voice light, but I was pretty sure Ozzie heard it crack. "Guys like you aren't exactly lining up for guys like me. But I hear what you're saying."
He didn't say anything for a second, then he sighed under his breath and shook his head. "I don't think you do, Cedric."