Chapter 6
OZZIE
I should have been embarrassed by my reaction to waking up with Cedric suckling from my chest, but I wasn’t. He loved it, and I loved it, so I pushed away all the shameful thoughts inside me and focused on what mattered.
Cedric was happy.
For the first time, he seemed truly happy. There was a lightness to him that I hadn’t seen before. His smiling face forced me to admit I was happy too. Happier than I could remember ever being before.
Not only was he okay with my lactation, but he was turned on by it.
He wanted more of it, in fact. That was good because not having to pump that morning because he’d already emptied me out was amazing.
And kinda sexy. In all the years I'd been managing my condition privately, I'd always assumed the first person I explained it to would make it weird, and more likely, it would be a dealbreaker.
But Cedric just turned to me with a drunk look in his eyes like he’d finally tasted heaven. Just thinking about it was making me hard again.
While he showered and likely jacked off, I got started on breakfast.
He came out while I was scrambling eggs, with damp hair and the same smile I was becoming addicted to. “Mmm, smells good in here.” The dark circles under his eyes were gone, and he looked more rested than I'd seen all week. He sat down at the table and propped his chin in his hand to watch me.
“You’re just in time.” I scooped some eggs onto a plate with bacon and buttered toast and slid it in front of him. "You sleep okay?"
"Better than I have in years." He picked up a slice of bacon and took a bite. "Ya know what’s funny? My sinuses are completely clear. I’m usually all stuffed up in the morning.” He shrugged. “You’ve cured my allergies."
I chuckled and sat down across from him. “Curious.”
"Curious?" He pointed his fork at me and cocked his head. "What’s curious about that?"
I shrugged and took a bite. Now I was the one making it weird. "It’s just that…chest milk has anti-inflammatory properties. Some people buy it specifically to help with allergies and congestion."
"People buy your milk?" His jaw dropped for just a second and then snapped shut. “You sell it?”
“I don’t, but some people do.” I put down my fork and leaned back to give him my full attention. If I was gonna be honest, I needed to be willing to answer his questions. “I pour out most of mine, but if you think it’ll help you, I can save you some.”
He went back to eating, and the corner of his mouth jittered like he was trying to keep a straight face. “Yeah, I’ll try it again to see if it keeps helping.”
I nodded once without saying anything, but I noticed his word choice. Did he want to try suckling again?
We ate for a few minutes without talking, and then Cedric put down his fork and looked at me across the table. "So what are we doing?"
I looked at him, unsure what he meant. “Eating breakfast?”
"No, I mean…us. The texts. The meals. The…
last night." His eyes were focused and clear, completely present when something actually mattered to him.
"Because from where I'm sitting, I'm just some battered and broken twink with terrible judgment in men and a track record that should probably disqualify me from being anyone's anything. You’re a million miles out of my league…so I don’t want to make any assumptions. "
"Don't do that." I got up and went to his side of the table and kneeled beside him. “I’m not out of your league. If anything, you’re out of mine. You’re young and gorgeous and could have anyone you want.”
He shook his head and turned to face me.
"I’ve only wanted people who treat me badly because they were easy.
I knew where I stood with them. I was a toy.
Something to be used and abused." His eyes welled up, but he didn’t turn away.
“But I don’t know where I stand with you.
Am I just a project? Someone you pity? I don’t know why you’re here, Ozzie. ”
“I’m here because I care about you, Cedric.” I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it. “More than I want to admit.”
“So you’re okay with what happened last night…and this morning?” He sniffed back some tears but kept his eyes locked with mine. “Even though I almost got you shot?”
I swallowed hard, searching for the right words.
"I’m very okay with everything that’s happened.
Even almost getting shot because that put us right here, right now.
For me, this is real, Cedric. I want to be with you.
I don’t pity you at all. I admire you." I paused and closed my eyes. “But you’ve told me repeatedly that I’m not your type, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.
You don’t owe me a damn thing, Cedric. Just your honesty. ”
He was quiet for a second as that all sank in. “I think I’ve been mostly honest.”
“Mostly?” That surprised me because he seemed to be very open about almost everything.
“Well, you’re definitely my type.” He grinned shyly as he picked at his toast. “You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life.”
I liked what I was hearing so far, so I went back to my chair. "Why do I hear a but in there..."
“But…you’re just too nice. I’m a mess, and I figured you were just a good Samaritan or something, so it’s hard for me to believe you’re actually interested in me.”
“I’m definitely interested in you.” As long as we were talking about it, I laid it all out there. "But I don’t share, Cedric. If you want to see where this goes, I need to know you’re all in. Just me and you."
He nodded, and his eyes got glassy with emotion. “Just me and you sounds good.”
“Okay then.” I scooped the last of my eggs on my toast and ate it. “So we’re…exclusive.”
"Yep." He pointed the fork at me again, but he was smiling now. "Because I will absolutely lose my shit if you’re sharing your milk with anyone else."
I laughed, grateful we could joke about something that was such a huge part of my life. “You’re the one and only. I promise.”
Cedric looked so pleased with himself that I wanted to pull him into my arms and never let him go.
I was about to clean up the dishes when Cedric’s phone buzzed. He grabbed it and frowned. "Detective Ramos."
I stayed quiet while he answered it. I could only hear his side of the conversation, and his face didn't give much away while he listened to the detective. After a few minutes, he thanked the man and disconnected the call.
After a minute of waiting, I couldn’t hide my impatience. “Well, what did he say?”
"Mitch is being held without bail while they wait on the transfer paperwork.
" His voice was even while he processed the conversation.
"Missouri has him as a person of interest in a homicide, and there are two more investigations in other states, one for a homicide and one for trafficking.
Ramos said he's looking at a life sentence, even before last night.” He looked up at me and smiled through his shock.
“They probably won't even need us to testify because they've got much bigger charges to deal with. "
“Damn.” I was relieved that Mitch was off the streets and serving his time, but the fact that he’d been so close to Cedric so many times was terrifying. Anything could have happened.
"So." Cedric pushed the phone out of the way and got up. "Can we get started on us now?"
"Yeah." I pulled him into my arms and held him against me. "It’s just us now."
He nodded once and then pulled back. "If I can get into the clinic today, I’ll get a panel done.”
"Me too."
He looked up, seemingly surprised by my offer. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I cupped the side of his cheek and stared into his eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone, but if we’re all in, and you’re planning to…” I didn’t know how to say it politely, so I just went for it, “ingest any of my fluids, I want to make sure you’re safe.”
He laughed at that and pressed his forehead into my neck. “I’m definitely gonna ingest your fluids.”
Fucking hell, this boy was gonna be the death of me.