Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
A LONG GODDAMN TIME
Adrienne
Three weeks later
Central Texas
“Today was a great victory,” my dad says from the stage. “Thank you for letting me leave on a high note.”
The crowd goes wild. Fans cheer and cry. Today was his last race on the circuit before he retires. He had planned it all out, ending with a race in the Texas Hill Country—the one that was the first race he won all those years ago.
Candy stayed home. She claims this pregnancy is rough.
Bobby and I accompanied him as representatives of DHR. He called us the future of racing, and even though I wasn’t racing today, it was fun to be part of the entourage for the great Adrian Malone one last time.
And he did it… he won.
The plan is to celebrate tonight in a tavern not far from here. Dad swears it has sawdust floors and a live band every night of the week, or at least it did years ago.
But right now, we’re opening champagne on the big stage, because my dad won the last race of his career. The bottles pop, and champagne sprays all over Dad as he throws his head back and laughs.
When the track celebrations and interviews wind down, we head back to the hotel to change for the evening.
Gabe, Manny, and Eli have traveled with me to Texas for the race. Manny is off duty though. His family is near the race location, so he gets to spend the trip with them, and tonight, he’s bringing his wife, Marisol, to join us. He’s been in a great mood being back here.
Gabe has not been.
I shower off the sticky champagne from the race and let my hair dry in long, natural waves around my face.
I apply soft makeup in shimmery pinks and golds and swipe a soft-pink gloss over my lips.
This is the way I prefer to wear my makeup.
The dramatic looks from the photoshoots are fun, but they aren’t really me.
With my mom’s guidance in the fashion world, I found my own style along the way and I own it. This is the real me.
I pull on a pair of light-pink lace panties and then drop a sundress over my head, the spaghetti straps light and cool, the little pink and yellow flowers dotting the white fabric lending it a sweet vibe.
It’s so hot in Texas, even at night, that the thought of wearing jeans or, God forbid, my DHR jacket was just too much.
I slip my diamond studs through my ears and slide my feet into leather sandals before grabbing my little bag from the desk in my hotel room.
This hotel is a little older—vintage—and we’re all stacked in together with DHR all on one floor, both sides of the hall.
The rooms are tight, and the walls are thin.
I know without a doubt that I will be sleeping alone tonight.
After the explosion, Gabe and I didn’t go back to the close way we were living while he was protecting me, but he still comes to me every night. We don’t speak; we have sex and then fall asleep, and he’s always, always gone by morning.
It hurts, but I can’t deny that I’ve decided to take what he’ll give me, and I will deal with the fallout when he’s gone. And he will be gone sooner or later. He’s made it abundantly clear that staying in San Diego for any reason does not appeal to him in any way.
I also need him in a way I have never needed another man before. He’s a part of me now and there’s no going back. So even though I can’t keep him, I’ll take what he’s willing to give me, because that is better than nothing at all.
I’m not a doormat. It looks that way right now, but this is a conscious decision to exist within the boundaries that he’s erected.
And afterward, I’ll move on with my life.
Maybe I’ll get married and start a family, or maybe I’ll be the badass owner of DHR and never settle down.
I don’t have a crystal ball that tells the future. Only time will tell.
I open my room door, and Eli is standing in the hallway waiting for me.
His handsome face is now marked with a scar over his left eye that travels down to his cheekbone.
He’s still one of the most good-looking people I have ever met, with his sandy hair and hazel eyes.
The scar only makes him more interesting to look at, but I will always know he got it because of me and the danger I put him in.
“You look like a girl,” he blurts.
“Thanks, asshole.” I laugh as I swat his arm. “I am a girl.”
“But now you look like it,” he says, making me laugh even harder. I love that the guys treat me like one of them. I never wanted to be treated like a girl, like I was made of glass. I’m a tough bitch and I’ll stay that way.
Somewhere along the way, our friendship has blossomed into a big sister, little brother one.
We poke fun and laugh. There is absolutely nothing sexual or romantic about it, and although they don’t speak of it, I know both Manny and Eli are painfully aware of where my heart lies.
Manny is hopeful, excited even, but when I look at Eli, I see in his eyes the same heartache I catch in my own when I look in the mirror.
He’s painfully aware that sometimes you love and lose.
“Thanks, I think.” I smile at him, so he knows there are no hard feelings.
“Shall we?” he asks, holding out his arm for me, and I take it.
“Yes. I can’t wait to meet Marisol,” I admit. “There’s too much testosterone around here. I need another girl in the ranks.”
“She’s a gem,” he says. “You’re going to love her.”
My luck—shitty as always—holds out and the door next to mine opens as Gabe steps out in jeans and a collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing the taut lines of his forearms. I try not to drool over the veins that pop and slither over the muscles there.
He’s wearing cowboy boots that have seen their fair share of wear, and a matching leather belt around his waist, but it’s the white Stetson on his head that takes my breath away.
Damn, cowboy Gabe is more than I can withstand…
There’s always been a hint of Texas twang in his voice.
There was no doubt that he and Manny are from the Lone Star State but seeing him dressed like this and not the way he normally does when he’s protecting me…
it reminds me there is a lot about this man I don’t know.
Likely, I won’t ever get the chance to know it.
Every reminder that this man is just outside of my reach and he fully intends to keep himself removed from me, burrows under my skin a little deeper than the last.
He takes one look at my arm looped through Eli’s, and his eyes narrow on us. I feel the smile slide right off my face and apprehension coat my skin.
“Am I interrupting something?” he asks, and his voice vibrates with quiet menace.
“No,” I blurt out.
“Then you mind stepping away from my boy?” he warns and I roll my eyes and let go of Eli. I hate that Manny was right, I am Yoko.
“We were just going to head to the tavern for the night.”
“I see that,” Gabe says, and Eli remains watchful and silent.
“Are… um… are you coming too?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he replies, his eyes still watchful and wary. I hate that I feel so off balance when we should be celebrating my dad’s win. Nothing else should matter.
“Oh, okay.”
The three of us stand there for far longer than necessary until Gabe finally breaks the silence. “Mind coming over here?” he says, gesturing for me to make the move to his side of the hallway. I don’t know why, but this feels like a big move on my part, one I’m not sure I feel safe making.
“I don’t know,” I reply before nibbling on my lip.
“What don’t you know?” he asks.
I want to scream Anything. I don’t know anything where he’s concerned. I feel like I’m just living this life as a first-timer and before all of this happened, I was a strong independent woman.
“If you’re mad or not, for starters.”
“I will be if you don’t bring your ass to me right now,” he growls, and I startle before taking the three quick strides over to his side.
Gabe grabs my hand and pulls me into his arms before his mouth crushes mine. I gasp at the brutality of it, and he seizes the opportunity to lick into my mouth, possessing me in front of Eli and anyone else who may be passing through the hall.
This is new.
He ends the kiss just as quickly as he started it. “Now we can go.” Then he leads me out to the parking lot and loads me into the SUV with Eli trailing behind us.
What I did not know, because I didn’t turn back to see, is that Eli followed us out to the parking lot with a happy smile on his face and the thought that maybe sometimes you can love and win.
The tavern in the next small town over is called The Stone Porch and it’s everything my dad said it was.
Family owned for generations and passed down through them, Stone’s thrives in the sleepy town of Ransom Falls.
There’s so much going on here and I want to know more.
Real cowboys are all around and it doesn’t hurt that the famous bull rider, Levi Brooks, and his family are from here and known to frequent the bar from time to time.
There’s a band playing and a cute brunette with sad eyes running the bar. I know the feeling. I feel a little sad tonight too. Although I don’t know her story, I can guess that her heartache revolves around a man. It always does.
I see our party throughout the small building. Dad is in the back corner of the bar with Bobby and the rest of the DHR crowd. He’s in jeans and a T-shirt, like always, and holds a beer bottle loosely in his hands.
Bobby could be him twenty years ago. They are so similar it’s no wonder Bobby always looked up to him. But Dad wouldn’t treat someone as callously as Bobby’s treated me, or at least I hope he wouldn’t. As I watch the two men, I can’t help but wonder, how well do I really know them after all?
I’m not quite sure I truly know anyone or anything, not my best friend or my dad, and definitely not Gabriel Navarro.
In a crowd of people, I’m all alone, and I’m okay with it. This is the life I’ve chosen, and I’m at peace with it. Do I want more? Yes, but if that never happens, I’ll be all right.