41
The journey from Birmingham was straightforward. There were only a handful of other vehicles on the motorway. Lucy pretty much had the outer lane to herself.
‘That has to be the quickest I’ve ever done this journey,’ she said as she turned onto the coast road.
Mark smiled at her from the passenger seat. ‘Ten more minutes, and we’ll be pulling up in front of the Grange. I can feel the tension leaving my shoulders already.’
He stroked his hand along her thigh.
‘Is the tension rising elsewhere instead?’ She grinned at him, pleased he seemed back to his old, relaxed self.
‘It might be. But we better get settled in first. I don’t think Mother dearest would appreciate me having my wicked way with you in the entrance hall.’
‘I bet there’s been a lot of that in the past.’
‘Probably. Do you fancy a bit of role-play? I could be the country squire, and you could be the poor scullery maid?’
‘Cheeky! If we’re doing that, I’ll be the lady of the manor, and you can play the poor gardener.’
‘I see. We’re going for a Lady Chatterley vibe, are we?‘
Before Lucy could answer, the sound of sirens came from behind them.
Mark looked behind them. ‘It’s a police car.’
Lucy glanced in the driver’s mirror. Blue flashing lights filled her view. ‘Who are they after?’
‘Us by the look of it. You’ll have to stop.’
‘Shit! I shouldn’t have tempted fate.’ Lucy pulled over to the side of the road, her heart rate rising. She hadn’t been speeding, so what the hell was this about?
The police car pulled in behind them. A middle-aged policeman got out of the passenger side and strode purposefully towards them while his colleague stayed in the driver’s seat.
He tapped on Lucy’s window. ‘Good afternoon, madam. Can you get out of the car, please?’
‘Only if you keep your distance.’ Lucy wasn’t in the mood for being messed about or catching Covid now.
‘Fair enough.’ The policeman took a step back and waited for her to open the door. ‘Mind telling me the reason for your journey?’
‘We’re moving house.’
He peered into the back of the car, looking sceptical. ‘You don’t seem to have much with you.’
‘We don’t need a lot. We’re moving into furnished accommodation.’
‘That’s convenient. And where would your furnished accommodation be?
‘Dashford-on-sea.’
‘Famous as one of North Devon’s favourite holiday destinations. That Dashford-on-sea?’
Great. A sarcastic copper. That was all they needed.
Lucy decided to play him at his own game. ‘Is there another one?’
‘I think not. Are you sure you’re not going on holiday?’
‘Quite sure. We’re moving in with my fiancé’s mother. She’s old and frail.’
The policeman didn’t look satisfied with her answer. ‘Can I see your driving licence, please?’
Lucy got Mark to pass over her handbag. ‘Don’t antagonise him,’ he whispered as he handed it over.
‘As if I would,’ she whispered back.
She found her licence in her purse and held it out at arm’s length for the policeman to read.
‘You’re from Birmingham,’ he said. ‘Lots of Covid in Birmingham.’ He took a step back. ‘Where did you say you were going again?’
Was he trying to catch her out? ‘Dashford-on-sea,’ she said slowly and deliberately.
‘Whereabouts exactly?’
‘Dashford Grange.’
He smiled at her smugly. ‘Where the holiday cottages are?‘
‘Yes. My fiancé’s mother owns them.’
‘Does she indeed. And what’s her name?
‘Nancy Farnham.’
‘Ah, yes. Mrs Farnham.‘
Mark had got out of the car now. ‘Is there a problem officer?’
‘Yes, sir. There is. I know your mother. I’ve booked her for speeding several times over the years. And I wouldn’t describe her as frail. Far from it. She always gives the impression of being quite robust, to be frank.’
Lucy had no difficulty imagining how robust Nancy could be, especially when confronted by a pompous policeman like this one.
‘Surely you’re not expecting a 75-year-old woman to spend lockdown on her own?’ Mark must have decided to appeal to PC 452’s softer side.
‘Except she’s not alone, is she, sir?’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘She was very much not alone yesterday. I’ve had to have words about that.’
‘Who’s with her then?’ Mark didn’t think Olivia had moved in, and Jack and Em were still at Octopus Cottage when he’d texted Jack this morning. Perhaps one of her WI friends had decided to join her.
‘I suggest you ask her. In the meantime, you need to return to Birmingham. The only reason to travel is to get food or medicine or if you’re an essential worker. And I do not believe any of those reasons apply to you two.’
He walked to the middle of the road in front of Lucy’s car, legs apart, arms akimbo. ‘You can turn around there,’ he said, pointing to the gateway to a field on the opposite side of the carriageway.
‘But that’s ridiculous, officer.’ Mark sounded as annoyed as Lucy now.
‘Those are the rules, sir. If you don’t like them, write to Number 10. Now, are you going to do as I’ve requested, or would you prefer me to issue you with an on-the-spot fine? Either way, you aren’t going to Dashford today.’
Mark and Lucy exchanged a look. Mark got back in the car, and Lucy followed suit.
‘What are we going to do?’ Lucy whispered, turning her head away so the policeman couldn’t read her lips.
‘We’re going to turn around like good little citizens, and when they’ve lost interest, we’ll find another way back to Dashford. There are plenty of side roads we could use instead of this one.’
‘Is it worth it?’ Lucy asked.
‘Of course, it’s worth it. No one’s going to ban me from seeing my own mother. I could understand it if we’d coughed all over him. Considering pigeons are the only living creatures we’ve been within two metres of for the last few days, we’re more likely to be carrying bird flu than bloody Covid.’
Lucy started the car, manoeuvred it onto the other side of the road and set off back the way they’d come. She looked in the rearview mirror. ‘They’re following us. I feel like a fugitive!’
Mark drummed his fingers on the edge of the car door. ‘I bet they’re planning to tail us right the way back to the motorway. They won’t go much further because then we’ll be Avon Somerset’s problem.’
Lucy carried on driving, keeping a close eye on the speedometer. A speeding fine would be the icing on the cake. ‘What did he mean about your mum not being alone?’
‘I bet he’s referring to the decorator. She said he was still working there. I can imagine Inspector Morse was unimpressed by that.’
The police car followed them for 15 minutes before turning off towards Barnstaple.
‘Thank God. They must have had a call to go somewhere else,’ said Lucy, heaving a big sigh of relief.
‘There’s probably some other loving son who needs a bollocking for attempting to visit his elderly mother,’ said Mark.
‘Now what do we do?’
Mark started fiddling with the satnav. ‘There are plenty of old lanes we could use to get to Dashford. I used to cycle around them when I was a kid.’
‘Good idea. They won’t have ANPR,’ said Lucy approvingly
‘ANPR?’
‘Automatic number plate recognition. They might be tracking us.’
‘I didn’t realise you were so knowledgeable. Have you been on the run before?’
Lucy couldn’t tell if he was impressed or worried. ‘No, but I’ve watched Hunted. Don’t withdraw any money from cash points, either. The fugitives always get caught out that way.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind next time I need to evade the long arm of the law,’ he laughed. ‘There’s a left turn in half a mile.’
The turn led them down a road that soon became a deep-sided lane so narrow that the hedgerows on both sides brushed the car as they slowly drove along it.
‘I’m glad there’s not much traffic. This would be a nightmare otherwise. It’s been ages since we saw a passing place.’ Lucy said, wincing as another branch made a slight scraping noise against the paintwork.
‘Don’t worry. It’s mostly tractors that use these old lanes.’
Lucy was horrified. ‘Was that meant to be reassuring?’
‘We’ll be fine. They’ll see us before we see them.’
Half an hour and only one tractor encounter later, they drove into Dashford Grange’s courtyard.
Nancy came out to greet them. ‘Where have you been? You said you were ten minutes away, but that was almost an hour ago.’
‘It’s lovely to see you too, Mother Dearest.’ Mark said as he got out of the car. ‘We encountered a zealous policeman who seemed to know you personally.’
‘I can guess who that is. He’s loving having all these new laws to enforce.’ Nancy said as she watched Mark unload the suitcases from the Audi.
‘Don’t I get a hug?’ she asked.
‘I thought you’d want to quarantine us?’ Mark said.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous. You haven’t got a temperature, have you?’
‘No, I’m feeling fighting fit, and so is Lucy.’
‘In that case, I insist you greet me properly.’ She marched over to him and pulled him into an embrace, then she turned to Lucy and did the same.
‘These are for Lavender Cottage,’ she said, pulling a pair of keys out of her cardigan pocket and handing them to Mark. ‘It’s the biggest one. You won’t get in one another’s way there if you need peace and quiet to work, Lucy. Clive’s finished redecorating it. Put your things in there, then come over to the house. We’ve prepared dinner for you.’
‘Have you ever met Clive?’ Lucy asked as they carried their luggage to the cottage.
‘Years ago, I think. Why?’
‘I just wondered if he was your mum’s type?’
‘He’s got to be at least 15 years younger than her,’ Mark said as he opened the cottage door.
‘Perhaps she fancied having a toy boy. Someone’s been helping her cook this evening, by the sound of it.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. She’s beyond all that now. There hasn’t been anybody since Dad died.’
‘So you’re saying you’ll be beyond all that if we’re still together when we’re 75?’
‘That’s different. I very much hope that a fine specimen of a man like myself will still be up to fucking you senseless when I’m 75. Though I’m not sure how turned on I’ll be by saggy tits,’ he said, staring at her chest.
‘You better make the most of them while they’re still perky, then.’
‘I’ll take you up on that offer later,’ he laughed, giving Lucy a kiss. ‘Unfortunately, we have to be sociable first.’
Once they had unloaded everything into the living room, they headed over to the main house. Nancy had left the front door ajar.
‘Mother dearest?’ Mark called as he walked into the hallway with Lucy hot on his heels.
‘We’re in the drawing room,’ Nancy shouted.
Lucy and Mark exchanged a glance. ‘We!’ she whispered and raised her eyebrows.
‘Stop it! It’ll be one of her WI friends,’ Mark whispered back. He strode across the hall, with Lucy following him. She crashed into his back when he came to an abrupt halt in the drawing room doorway.
A tall man with white hair and glasses got up from the sofa and smiled at them.
‘I don’t think you’re in the WI,’ Lucy said.