Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
CADE
While I was off hunting for leads, she was getting more notes left inside her house. I’m murderous with how close they keep getting to her. How she’s being targeted because of my claim on her. How this shouldn’t be the start of us. And how helpless I feel right now.
After a really shitty day without finding any—because the fuckers seemed to go underground at the most inopportune time—ending it by reading words like loneliness, requests for further visitations, desperation, and eagerness only hammers home my growing dislike of education. This isn’t how it should end.
After not being able to guarantee her safety the way I must, I longed to arrive, dismiss Bones, and then finally delve into her cunt.
If I had my way, she would have already come on my tongue last night, would have woken in my arms when I could have dragged her into the shower, fucked her clean, and then back to bed to test out what a few compliments can do to her pussy.
But she needs time, which I respect. What I can’t respect is how she believes a research paper will alter my fixation with her. The iron claws of death wouldn’t change anything. She could pull the trigger herself, and I’d still only crave seeing her eyes before the endless night.
She’d set up the document to the part relating to prison inmates—me—but I read straight to the end because there was nothing but admiration for the work she clearly put in.
She poured her heart and soul into her research, and it shone through in her writing.
My girl is smart, and I can only hope she quits the flower shop and does something with this brain of hers.
Everything she wrote about me—without using names or identifiers—was nothing but the truth.
Being inside did make me form a quick attachment with my first outside contact, but it doesn’t change that Aspen being herself is what drew me to her.
If anyone else was on the other end of those letters, I wouldn’t have wanted to see them.
I wouldn’t have requested a photo and then approved her visitation request.
I thank the program, her thesis topic, and the fact she signed up for it. Without any of that, I wouldn’t have met her. I wouldn’t be standing here, finally about to taste her.
I shut the laptop and toss it onto her bed, my gaze dragging the extra space she so sneakily slid back to. Letting her believe she’s in any sort of control is fun. After all, she’s had hers with this paper; I’ll claim mine through her body.
She’s chewing on her bottom lip, watching me like I’m a threat. By the time I get my hands on her, I may very well be. She’s flushed already, her blood pounding hard, and we haven’t even started.
“Come here.”
After the slightest hesitation, she crosses the room and folds her arms—partway between defiance and obedience. Good thing for her, I enjoy both. But right now, I prefer her obedience.
“It’s a well-written paper.” Nothing but the truth, and sparks of life flare into her eyes, confirming what I’ve known for a while.
She blooms with compliments, which I’ll be more than pleased to provide.
“You signed up for the program with the intention of using my letters in your research, used me for a school project, and then ended it. For what it’s worth, hope you got an A. ”
Do university papers even get letter grades? I don’t fucking know. Higher education was never in the cards for me.
“Yes, and I’m sorry you’re hurt by it.”
“But not for doing it?”
It’s a test she passes with her firm “No.” A woman by my side, in the life I lead, should only ever be confident in her choices. “I needed the insight,” she adds, “and you gave that perfectly.”
“If you did all this for a paper, why visit? If you forget, it was you who offered.”
“Because I wanted to. It may have begun as a project, but I wanted to meet you. When it started to feel like too much, when I got worried what continuing to be in your life would do, I called it quits.” She pauses, rolls her lips together, and admits, “I was scared to see you as a friend, whereas to you, maybe I was merely entertainment while you were locked up.”
Oh, sweetheart, you were so much more than that. She ended it to protect herself, without realizing she wasn’t only entertainment, but the beat the rest of my life would attune to.
I can respect her defending herself. And I damn well admire her for what she’s done for her education.
“I answered your question, so now it’s your turn.” Her chin lifts up a fraction. “What was today about? Who left me the notes? Who’s your friend, and why’d you feel the need to have him protect me? Who are you really?”
“You honestly think we’re already moving past what you’ve done? I’m not over it, Aspen. Not by a long shot. Get on your knees.”
She stares, her fight faltering. Her pupils constrict with the temptation of what I’m offering, and yet, she’s still the girl who sat across from me in a visitation room. Still as spunky, as vivacious, and she doesn’t move.
“On. Your. Knees. Don’t make me ask again.”
“Not until you tell me something. The truth, to start with.”
“The only important truth is how loud you’re about to moan my name.”
Expression flattened, her silence breaks. Her defiance ends. She lowers to her knees, and half my fantasies kick off.
“So you can listen. Good.” Burning ignites within her, and she visibly trembles, a preface of what’s to come as I slowly pace towards her and grasp her neck, to tip her face up to mine.
Early in my imprisonment, one of the guys who’d been in there longer asked me what I live for, what I see when my eyes close each night.
There was nothing, and he recommended finding something because it helps make the days go by.
Envisioning what, where, or who is waiting beyond the bars might leave the anticipating dread behind, but it keeps us going. Keeps us alive.
I’d never found my something until that September when her first letter came. By the time she left me the following Valentine’s Day, it was this right here that got me through the long nights of my final year. The moment she’s in my grip, on her knees, being such a good girl awaiting her reward.
My hand on her neck has my cock thickening. When getting her name tattooed, the anticipation of this moment was nearly too much. I’m branded with her, and seeing the evidence heals my shattered heart.
Next, I’ll get my name etched somewhere on her body. Beneath her breasts would be beautiful, but then the space between her pussy and stomach will ensure she understands who’ll ever be there. Or maybe somewhere more visible, like her wrist, so I’ll always be able to see it.
“Your essay is well written. I skimmed through to the end. You clearly put a lot of work into it, and you better be as proud of yourself as I am.” She sinks deeper into my hold, having not expected a compliment, which is okay because it means I get to keep her upright and prove I’m the man for her.
“But what you never calculated in that smart brain of yours is that a school assignment means fuck all to me. I don’t care that you signed up for the program only to use me for research.
It put you into my life, and that’s all that matters.
You became a light in my darkness. While you were out living and I was stuck behind bars, it made no difference.
I was counting the seconds until able to return to you. ”
Her lips part. Her throat moves against my hand before she admits, “I shouldn’t tell you this, but you changed me too, in unwelcome ways. Whenever thoughts about you consumed me, I’d go out with someone. I only used them as a distraction from you.”
Well… She stuns me silent. I certainly didn’t see that one coming. “How’d that work for you?” I ask, guessing the answer.
With her neck held hostage, stuck onto her knees, she has the balls to wink. “They’re not the ones I’m on my knees for.”
“And you’ll never be. They lost their shot.” This scrap of a woman may just undo me in ways I didn’t know possible. “Tell me again, how many of them did you allow near my pussy?”
Her eyes narrow at the insinuation but then she replies, “I haven’t…not in years.”
“Because you’ve been waiting for me. You were mine even before we knew one another. I fuckin’ love that.” My fingers slide along her jaw, while my tattooed hand maintains its grip. “So all you’ve done is put both of us in misery for a year.”
“This is still wrong,” she breathes. “I don’t know who you really are. You broke into my house, Cade. This isn’t normal.”
Back on that, hm. Soon, she’ll stop being so held up in the “properness” of all this, and she’ll become the queen of my underworld.
“Being insane is my normal, Aspen, which means it’s also your new normal. Get used to it.”
“Answer my questions, and maybe I will.” Such a tempting offer, tied up in a neat little bow by the even more tempting package. “I showed you my reasons for leaving. I’m on my knees. I’ve done everything you asked for.”
My thumb presses into her pulse in warning as I pull her up by her neck, bending until my lips brush hers.
“One more, then I’ll answer anything you want.
I want one orgasm from you before we continue.
I want to see your face when you realize how good we are together, and how fighting this is pointless.
Let me hear my name on these lips”—I press a thumb into her bottom one—“and then we’ll talk. ”
Her chin bobs the slightest fraction in agreement.
I release her entirely but remain standing above her as I consider all my fantasies. So much to do, but the moment she comes, she’ll be pushing me off her and demanding the truth, so I need to choose wisely.
I help her to her feet, cup her face, and slash my mouth against hers like I had when first entering her house, irritated at being away from her all day with nothing to show for it.