Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
The rumors started after dawn raids at the homes of four Members of Parliament and two Lords, including the Duke of Eastwyck’s manor. Arrests on unclear charges. Corruption? Foreign influence? Stay tuned.
Lee stuck close to Alex throughout their morning training session, and he could tell that Jeff did the same.
Their gazes caught at some point and they exchanged a quick nod before returning to their respective exercises.
Alex, for his part, kept his head down and followed Kieran’s instructions with single-minded focus, feigning indifference to the curious glances from teammates.
He was quiet as they headed back to their room, then stepped out onto the balcony to call his mother.
Lee made it a point to give him space, busying himself with a shave that he’d skipped earlier that morning, careful not to nick his skin with hands that were slightly less steady than usual.
Half his attention was on the murmur of Alex’s voice that carried distress even though Lee couldn’t make out individual words.
It took conscious effort not to rush out there and just… do something, anything. Lee had always hated feeling helpless.
He stepped under the shower to remove himself from temptation, the rush of water in his ears blocking out Alex’s call.
With his eyes closed, head ducked under the spray, he didn’t hear Alex come into the bathroom until the shower door slid open and he pressed himself up against Lee’s back, warm and solid.
Lee leaned into him, covering Alex’s hands with his own.
“How did it go?” he asked softly.
He could feel Alex’s chest rise on a deep intake of air. “About as well as I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“A request to come home immediately and help defend my father’s good name.”
Because clearly Alex had no life of his own—the fucking nerve. Lee bit back a sharp comment. “So she believes he’s innocent?”
“I think she neither knows nor cares as long as he gets away with it.”
“And does she care that you’re part of this team and we want you here?”
“Is that so?” Alex’s voice dipped, the question followed by an open-mouthed kiss to the back of Lee’s neck. “You mean the team in general, or you in particular?”
“Both.” Lee hadn’t intended to be this honest, but it was hard to think with Alex all up against him, one hand inching lower towards where Lee couldn’t quite hide his interest in the proceedings.
“Good.” Another open-mouthed kiss to Lee’s back that came with just a hint of teeth.
Focus.
“Are you all right?” Lee asked.
“I think”—Alex gave Lee’s cock a light squeeze, thumb swiping over the head—“you should fuck me.”
Bloody hell. Lee hung his head, breathing through the flash of arousal. “Not an answer.”
“I don’t really feel like talking right now.
” To underline his point, Alex thrust gently against Lee, his erection slipping between Lee’s thighs.
Lee moved into the contact, couldn’t help it, and God, this was not the time, so not the time.
Alex was upset, and lunch was in an hour, and also, just…
Maybe it was stupid and sentimental, but Lee didn’t want to be the first guy to fuck Alex by mere default, because he happened to be a conveniently available body with the right equipment.
He wanted to be Alex’s first because Alex wanted him. Lee. Lee, and not just anyone.
He was in too deep.
“Alex…” Lee stifled a groan when Alex gave another slippery thrust in time with his hand moving along Lee’s cock.
“Yes?” A smile colored Alex’s voice, as though he’d already won this fight. Lee inhaled deeply, blinking water out of his eyes before he spun them around and walked Alex back against the wall of the shower. Alex went easily, pliant, canting his hips forward.
Lee stopped a breath’s width away from a kiss. “Are you all right?”
Alex opened his mouth and hesitated, eyes veiled, water clumping his lashes together. “I’m fine.”
He obviously wasn’t.
Lee framed his face with both hands and kissed him, sweet and soft. When he pulled back, Alex chased his mouth, and Lee gave in for another few seconds before he rested his forehead against Alex’s. “You’re not fine.”
The rush of water nearly swallowed Alex’s, “I have to be fine.”
“Not the same thing.”
“So?”
“So, are you fine?”
Alex shifted out of Lee’s grasp, sudden harshness in his tone. “Look, what does it matter? I came in here because I could use a distraction, but clearly that’s a lost cause.”
“Alex…” Lee reached for empty air.
“I’ll be on my bed. Come find me when you’re ready to stop it with the twenty questions.” Without so much as a backwards glance, Alex wrenched the shower door open and left Lee alone under the spray. On his way out of the bathroom, Alex grabbed a towel off the rack, then slammed the door.
The fuck?
All right, fine, so Alex was… hurting, for sure, and probably a bit scared.
That did not give him the right to treat Lee like his emotional rubbish bin, readily available for a hearty kick so Alex could make himself feel better.
Lee had been trying to help, and yeah, okay, they weren’t boyfriends, fine—but they were friends, for fuck’s sake.
And with that came a certain expectation of honesty.
If Alex couldn’t honor that? Well, screw him.
Lee took his damn time finishing up his shower, refusing to think about Alex in the next room, about Alex’s body pressed up against him only minutes ago, the taste of his mouth and the way he always seemed to move into Lee’s touch without even realizing it. Refused.
After toweling off, Lee paused to stare at his own face in the mirror—the frown he hadn’t even been aware of, the grim twist to his mouth. Naturally, he hadn’t brought any clothes into the bathroom with him, so he wrapped the towel around his waist, straightened his spine, and opened the door.
Alex was on Lee’s bed.
Lee stopped and narrowed his eyes. He didn’t want to speak first because it was Alex who needed to apologize, but also, “That’s my bed.”
“Yeah.” Alex hadn’t bothered getting dressed yet, completely naked on top of the sheets as he watched Lee. On his stomach, he’d propped himself up on his elbows in a way that turned his back into a beautifully distracting curve.
Lee forced his attention away. “Why?”
“It smells like you.” Alex said it without fanfare, a casually stated fact that required no further elaboration.
“If you think this counts as an apology, you may want to go back to the drawing board.”
Alex nodded slowly. “That’s fair. And, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m scared, I guess, and I took it out on you.”
Lee felt his irritation slip through his fingers like fine sand, tried to hold on to it and already knew it was a lost cause. “Scared,” he repeated flatly.
With a sigh, Alex sat up, tugging the sheet into his lap. His mouth tilted into an unhappy curve, voice low. “What if everyone hates me now?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake—there went the last, lingering dregs of Lee’s anger.
He exhaled and sat down as well, perched on the edge of Alex’s bed, facing him.
“Listen, first off, you’re not your father, and most people will understand that.
Secondly…” He spread his fingers. “Why do you need everyone to love you?”
Was it ironic—Lee asking that when he kind of maybe did, just the tiniest bit? Love Alex, that was. Although irony wasn’t the correct word anyway, right? Bittersweet, maybe.
“Yeah, well.” Alex’s smile was self-deprecating. “Supposedly, when we learn early on that we are not enough, it can inspire an overstated desire to please people.”
Okay, that wasn’t the answer Lee had expected. “Did you read that somewhere?”
“This guy I know told me a few days ago that I suffer from a high need for affiliation.” The words were warm. “I decided to look it up.”
Lee pinched his bottom lip between thumb and forefinger. “You don’t go out of your way to please me,” he said slowly. “Hell, you just started a fight for no good reason when I just wanted to make sure you’re fine.”
“Maybe it’s because…” Alex trailed off, frowning. “Maybe it’s that I trust you to stay and fight instead of walking out on me.”
Lee took a moment to digest that. “I guess that’s a good thing.”
“It is a good thing.” The words were quiet, soft around the edges.
“Didn’t feel very good where I was standing.”
“I am sorry.” Alex studied Lee for a moment, slender fingers playing with the sheet in his lap.
God, he was pretty. Lee should be used to it at this point, should have worked up some kind of immunity, but it still hit him every now and then.
“And I’m not fine,” Alex continued in an undertone. “But I need to fake it till I make it.”
“Don’t fake it with me.” Lee considered it, then grinned. “Don’t fake it with Jeff either. He’ll kick your backside, which I happen to rather like.”
A slow answering grin quirked Alex’s mouth. “Perhaps you should come over here and touch it a bit, then.”
Lee shifted, suddenly glad for the towel wrapped around his hips. Christ, it wasn’t fair how easily Alex could turn him on—a few words and a flirty look, and Lee was halfway there. He strove for a light tone. “From zero to innuendo in two seconds flat? Impressive.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed, his grin persisting. When he tossed the sheet aside and moved from one bed to the other so he could straddle Lee’s lap, it was with a certain languidness that gave Lee a chance to protest. He didn’t—simply tipped his head back and placed his hands on Alex’s waist, waiting.
Alex erased the gap between them, gently coaxing Lee’s mouth open with his own. It felt like falling, like giving up and in, like trusting Alex with a piece of himself that he might not get back.
Somehow, the fear wouldn’t come.
Posted by @AlexanderBeaufort (July 4, 11:43 a.m.):
I have no information beyond what various online news sources claim. Seems like the best I can do is focus on tomorrow’s match against France so we can get England into the semi-final—and beyond.