Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
Liner stained my glossy lips. The simple combination of brown and nude emphasized everything I loved about them. Though they had a natural line that traced them, shading it in made all the difference.
I stepped away from my father’s car, leaving my reflection in the side mirror to view the larger one in the tint of his windows.
I smoothed the invisible wrinkles of the olive dress as I released the breath I’d been holding in.
Nothing about the night was ordinary. My nervous system was in shambles.
Your accent. Heavy and light at once. But, the southern drawl is undeniable. It’s making me wish silence wasn’t your preference right now and that you didn’t have to leave.
Those words were still on my heart. Still in my head. Sitting on my chest. Twiddling my fingers. And, keeping my feet on the pavement instead of underneath my covers.
I peered at the gold vintage piece on my wrist. Time was ticking as it always was. The seven o’clock hour was upon me.
You can’t stay out here forever, Summer.
The end of summer breeze clothed my skin with its gentleness. I mourned the season's death while embracing autumn’s stillness. The quietness. The calmness.
September twenty-first.
It brought me great pride to be the bridge between the seasons. September served me well each year. Even the pain behind the story of my existence couldn’t disrupt the contentment it supplied.
“You’re going to stand there and marvel at your beauty all night, or believe me when I tell you that you look–”
There was a pause before the words began again. My right hand went to my chest. My breath caught in my throat. My eyes closed. And, my limbs stiffened.
The baritone soothed me like a slow jam on a weary night. I melted against the fabric of my dress. Even its coolness couldn’t put out the fire brewing within me.
“Incredibly beautiful. Flawless even.”
I remained quiet as I fought to regain my composure.
“Like a late-Summer night.”
He paused again.
“Much like tonight.”
I separated my eyelids, but had yet to gain the gumption to face the man behind me.
“Summer…” He recited my name as if it were his favorite word in the human vocabulary.
“Saul–” I started, slowly gathering myself. “Are you always this good with words?”
“Not always, but they are plentiful in your presence.”
“Yet, I’m at a loss.”
“What you don’t have, I do. Isn’t that the way these things work?”
“What things?”
“Relationships.”
Chuckling, I turned to find him armed with a handsome smile, a fresh haircut, flowers, and a gift bag.
“We’re not in a relationship.”
“Not yet, but I’ve heard that if you treat the thing you want as if it’s already yours, then it will be.”
“I’ve heard the same.”
“So, you won’t find it difficult to understand.”
I shook my head.
“I won’t.”
Silence toyed with my lips. Saul’s eyes were trained on me. Unmoving. Not blinking.
They were wide with curiosity. Sparkling with admiration.
“We should head inside.”
I agreed by lifting my head and then letting it fall slowly.
“For you.”
He extended his hand, offering me the bouquet of tulips. They’d bloomed so beautifully.
“Tulips.”
“Felt more true to your nature than roses.”
“You’re not wrong, Mister Saul.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t want to be.”
His hand never rejoined his side. Instead, it remained hoisted in the air, awaiting mine. I pressed our palms together and threaded my fingers between his.
Instantly, all that was out of order found its place. All that was wrong was made right. All that was blurry cleared. All that was evil was good. All that was hurting was healed.
My vintage Chanel mules got better acquainted with the curves of my feet as we started in the direction of Solo ArtHouse.
The consignment store where I’d found them was such a precious gem in my arsenal and I could hardly wait to revisit.
Everything was so carefully preserved. Unfortunately, my sanity didn’t have the same fate as the pieces, because I lost it each time I stepped inside.
“Good evening, ma’am. Sir.”
The doors parted as the doorman greeted us.
“Evening.”
“Good evening.” My response came immediately after Saul’s.
An egregious scent met us as our feet crossed the threshold. My nostrils flared as I retrieved my fingers from Saul’s embrace. I clipped the breaths I was taking, hoping to keep my lungs free of the faulty air.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am… Sir. We’re shutting down for the day. One of our ovens has caught fir–”
Simultaneously, our bodies turned around. Neither of us was interested in conversing with the hostess, who looked flushed and overwhelmed with whatever was happening behind the scenes.
“I apologize.”
“You should inform your crew out here,” Saul suggested as he backed out of the door.
Others filed out of the establishment slowly. Noses covered as they made their way toward their cars.
“Yes. Of course.”
As the words left her mouth, she headed toward us. We successfully exited, unharmed and unable to comprehend why the staff didn’t know what was happening inside their facility. Everyone was standing around making light of the work ahead with jokes and storytelling.
“Art SoloHouse another time,” Saul tittered, peering in my direction.
I lifted my head and then allowed it to fall.
Aimlessly, I followed behind the man swimming in chocolate.
A gold chain complemented the deep hue of his skin.
His hairline had been freshly trimmed. His teeth were crisp and white.
All except his canines. They were dipped in gold, enhancing his beauty.
My mind wandered. Suddenly there were precious brown babies with heads full of thick, coarse coils bouncing with each step they took as they ran toward the door to greet their favorite person after a long day of work. I blinked away the vision as we approached the Ford truck.
The passenger door opened with a tug from Saul. He grabbed a hand to assist me onto the step. I climbed inside and settled in the passenger seat, flowers in tow. It wasn’t until he was in his seat that I had a revelation.
Wait. Where are we headed, and how did I end up in this man’s truck?
“Seatbelt, Miss Summer.”
“Where are we headed?”
“To hell if we don’t pray,” he joked. “Sit back. You’re safe with me. Today… all days.”
His eyes stuck to me like glue. Quietness coated the space between us. No words were exchanged. Only his intense, yet loving gaze. I melted under the pressure his presence presented. It was the best and worst kind, simultaneously.
He had my head in a frenzy. So many thoughts. So many possibilities. So many plans. So many scenarios were birthed in my brain.
Ugh. He’s next to perfect.
Shamefully, Saul was reeling me into his web. Helplessly, I had fallen victim to his charm and potential.
Potential is not enough, Summer. The reminder should’ve snapped me back into reality, but I was already there. So was he. And, my thoughts remained.
Finding comfort in his words, I obliged. My eyes wandered around the vehicle as I slid the seatbelt over my body and prepared for the journey ahead. I didn’t know where we were headed, but I knew I was safe, and I knew that I would return home in one piece.
Saul wouldn’t break my father’s heart in a trillion tiny, irreparable pieces. He wouldn’t do that to him. He couldn’t.
Something soft and unrecognizable crooned in the background as the city’s lights served as the perfect backdrop. Hyper-sensitivity filled me with gratitude beyond words. Suddenly, I could feel everything.
The subtle breeze against my skin.
The small imperfections in the road.
The soft leather underneath my bottom.
The stems of the tulips on my lap.
Saul’s gentleness.
His eyes against my cheek with each glance.
And, the underside of his hand as it slipped around mine.
I’m just a girl. My thoughts reminded me to give grace when needed, especially today.
Feeling is okay. Feeling is natural.
Somehow, since knowing the person who pushed me from their womb terminated her rights to me the day I entered the world, I’d been blaming myself for that tragedy. And, one birthday after another I’d been suffering in silence, determined to honor the person who decided to stay.
Showing my gratitude.
Showing my love.
Praising their sacrifices.
Celebrating them.
Never celebrating me or the fact that they did exactly what they were supposed to do, and things happened exactly how they were supposed to happen.
My father had been a single parent since the woman he’d chosen to procreate with pushed out the placenta I was nourished in for nine and a half months. Every year after, I made my day about him. For the first time, I carved out a piece of my day to remember me.
He asked.
Saul was the reason a corner of my day was dedicated to the occasion. I peered in his direction, hoping he understood what this night meant for me.
Thank you.
“Where’d you go?”
His question came as a surprise.
“Hm?”
“You went elsewhere. Your mind. Your thoughts. Where’d you go?”
I shrugged. “Somewhere I’d rather not discuss so soon.”
“I’m in no rush, Miss Summer. I have so much time to comb through that head of yours. I plan to take my time so you can do the same.”
“I appreciate that, Mr. Saul.”
I rested my head on the seat and released a breathy sigh. I closed my eyes as I began to vomit words I prayed I didn’t regret later.
“You required something of me that I haven’t required of myself since–forever.”
“And what’s that?”
I shook my head, chuckling.
“Nevermind,” I whispered, wishing I could take back what I’d just said.
“I’m listening, Summer.”
The softness of his words soothed the ache in my chest.
“Carving out space to acknowledge a day that hurts as much as it heals.”
“Your birthday.”
I nodded.
“Why does it hurt?”
“Music–” I deflected.
“Music?”
“Yes. Instead of dinner tonight… can you take me to hear some music? Something good. Something worth dancing to?”
“I can do that for you, Miss Summer.”
“Thank you, kindly, Sir.”