Chapter 16
After a long walk by myself, I’m surprised to find Dusk waiting in the hallway, leaning against my door. I stop several paces away from him, frowning, yet curious.
“I wanted to apologize,” he says, pushing off and stepping towards me. “I lost my temper at dinner.”
One of my eyebrows raises. “Abaddon was being an ass. You had every right to be upset with him.”
“No, you were trying so hard to be civil, and I was only making it worse. I just…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know how he gets under my skin so easily.”
“Look, whatever beef you guys have, I don’t really care. Just keep it away from me.” I lean against the wall, sucking in a breath. “Which reminds me. Does your penance have something to do with me? With… Urim?”
“If I said yes, would you treat me any differently?”
So, yes. “That’s not an answer. I’d like confirmation.”
“Yes,” he heaves out, reluctant. “It does. However, you won’t be punished. You didn’t do anything wrong in the eyes of the Council Law.”
“That’s not… very… reassuring, but that’s not even what I’m worried about.” I rub my face, looking past him. “I wouldn’t have done anything if I had known there were consequences for you.”
He closes the distance between us in two long strides, suddenly bringing his hands to cup my face.
“I’m flattered, darling,” he breathes out in a whisper, looking me in the eyes.
I’m enveloped by his warmth, the feeling of angelic peace, and the smell of tulips. That goddamn flower scent is going to be the death of me. “What—what are you doing, Dusk?”
“If I’m already going to pay for breaking the rules…” One of his thumbs drifts across my lips, his eyes darkening. “Then I might as well do it again.”
“I don’t even know what they’re going to do to you as it is—”
“Shh, Dawn. Let me worry about that.” He drops his hands to my sides and dips his face to my neck, skimming his lips across my skin. “I can handle whatever they give me.”
He trails kisses down my neck to that spot, the spot, and bites in a way that makes me moan. Any reasonable thought I have flies out the window.
“Do you want me?”
I knit my hands in his blond hair and pull his face to mine. “God, yes.”
Our lips crash into each other with an intense and immediate hunger.
All of our sexual frustration surfaces, and we fight for control.
His hands slide under my thighs, hoisting me up into the air, pressing my body against him.
I grip his hair even tighter, pulling his mouth into me, desperate to consume him.
But he’s quicker, harder, shoving his tongue into my mouth just as he shoves my body against the wall.
He tastes like sugar and mint, his lips butter-soft, and I can’t get enough of him. My hips grind into him with a mind of their own, seeking the wonderful hardness of his arousal beneath those ridiculous robes.
The kiss is feral.
Sinful.
Wonderful.
And maybe it’s more than a kiss, depending on who’s defining it.
Maybe my panties are soaked by how he grinds his erection between my thighs, again and again.
Maybe he slides a hand under my shirt, teasing my breasts in a way that makes my head roll back against the wall.
Maybe we’re a breath away from fucking right here in the hallway like frenzied animals.
Which… Probably isn’t the best idea, considering I wouldn’t want anyone to know about this.
For one, I have no clue if I’m only making his punishment worse.
And for two, Abaddon seemed to delight in the possibility of being rid of Dusk, and I can only imagine how much he’d love an excuse to enact his own extrajudicial justice for a crime committed in his realm.
When I realize my thoughts have somehow drifted to Abaddon while Dusk and I are shaking the walls together, I feel like ice water is poured over me.
I pull my lips off him quickly, pressing my palms into his shoulders. “We should stop.”
“Should we?” He barely skips a beat before trailing kisses down the side of my neck, bringing a shudder to my breath.
“Or should I bring you into one of our rooms and make you come until you’re begging me to put my dick in you?
Show you exactly what it means to be fucked by an archangel?
To ruin you so completely, you’ll never want a human partner again? ”
Fucking Hell… Yes, that’s exactly what I want. Every muscle in my body is desperate for more. More of him. More of everything. More, more, more.
But I can’t.
I’ve seen reason, and now I can’t unsee it.
I groan through the frustration of it, shoving my hands against his shoulders with significantly more conviction than before. “No. We really need to stop.”
Dusk complies, letting me down quickly and stepping back.
Everything about him looks like I hit pause at the worst possible time—his hair is tousled, skin flushed, lips plump, pants tented. Everything but his expression. That’s completely blank. Emotionless, as if he shut down on the spot.
“You’re right,” he says with a curt nod. “Goodnight, Kae.”
“Dusk, I—” The sound of his door shutting cuts me off, and he’s gone. For a moment, I stand frozen, staring at the space he occupied only moments ago.
It would be pointless to try to follow him now, after he’s clearly put space between us. The damage is done, and the best thing I can do now is retreat into my room and speak to him in the morning.
I do not, in fact, get a chance to speak to Dusk in the morning.
I start my day early by knocking on his door, just as I always do.
It’s part of our routine. Every day since I’ve moved in, we’ve walked to breakfast together, spent the day together, and walked back from dinner together.
Even though he designed a nice two-month training program for me, he acts as my personal trainer, my sparring partner, and—most importantly—my only friend here.
It takes me a long moment to realize why he isn’t answering the door, but it finally comes to me in a sinking recognition.
Dusk isn’t in his room, or anywhere else in the Abyss, because he left for Elohim without saying goodbye.
After a miserable breakfast alone, lost in my thoughts, I exit the dining hall—and I nearly run into two oversized locusts.
“Hi, uh…” Instinctively, I start looking for exits. “Can I help you guys?”
The one with massive mandibles attached to its jaw speaks first, “We have been assigned as Captains of your protective detail.”
My eyes widen, and I have to force myself to hold my ground through the absurdity of its flawless pronunciation of my language. “Protective detail?”
“Yes. The King has relayed that the Abyss is not safe for you to wander alone.”
“Safe from what?” The very guys he’s assigning to protect me? “I really don’t think that’s necessary.”
“It is,” the other one says. It’s slightly smaller, lacking the unsightly mandibles, with a voice that sounds a bit more… feminine? Huh. Until now, I thought they were hermaphroditic, or something of the sort. “King Abaddon has concerns that there may be agents of the Adversary in the city.”
“Seriously? You think the Adversary could get in here?” Or does Abaddon somehow know what Dusk and I did last night? It’s his city, after all. Maybe his walls have eyes. Fuck—
“It is possible. The Adversary has many talents, and the security of the Abyss is admittedly not as robust as Elohim.”
“That is why it is prudent that we have someone guarding you at all times.” They bounce off each other, speaking one after another in consecutive harmony. “We will not interfere with your daily life.”
“The King has forbidden it. We are only to intervene if your safety is a concern.”
Like a fly on the wall. Except it’s a… different kind of flying bug. A locust, who isn’t really much of a locust, and is very large, very shiny, and very hard to miss.
But maybe, if they’re willing to talk to me now, I can at least glean some information from them. That is my goal, after all. “Well, did your King tell you anything else about this potential threat? Is there credibility to it, or is it just a precaution?”
They look at one another, synchronously, before looking back at me. I get the feeling that some strange, nonverbal communication just passed through them.
“We are not permitted to tell you anything else,” Mandibles replies.
“Really? Nothing?”
My hope flatlines. If they won’t even tell me if there’s a verifiable threat on my life, there’s zero chance they’ll hand over instructions for stopping the apocalypse—another dead end. And even worse, with their prying eyes, it’s unlikely I’ll be able to snoop around for information!
“King Abaddon determines what is appropriate for you to know. He would prefer to do that himself, without us as a conduit of information.”
In perfect coordination, they step back to the far wall, taking up a stance that reminds me of the London Guards.
“Guys, I appreciate the offer, but really, this isn’t necessary,” I plead, but they stay firmly in their positions, refusing to even acknowledge I’ve said anything.
I fist my hands for a moment, fuming, before forcing myself to calm down.
The locusts are just obeying orders. They’re not the problem.
Abaddon is the one who is being insufferably overbearing.
And the next time I see that little gnat, I’m giving him a piece of my mind.
In fact, I might even try to hunt him down tonight.
But until then, I’ll try my best to deal with the lack of privacy.
I go to the training arena, lift my weights, do my cardio, practice some functional skills—all underneath the beady, watchful eyes of my new pet vultures.
At the end of a long day of physical exertion, I head back to my room to shower before dinner, as I always do.
And guess who follows me?
The locusts, of course. They stand outside my fucking door, waiting on me, for over an hour. I know because I keep checking the peephole, hoping they’ll finally leave me alone. By the time I’m ready to leave for dinner, I’m pissed off.
Whipping the door open, I meet them with a scornful glower.
They hardly even react, barely shifting their bodies to look at me.
“I’m surprised you two didn’t follow me into my room to watch me bathe,” I hiss. “Where is Abaddon? I need to have a word with him.”
No response.
“Seriously?” I throw my hands into the air, huffing, before crossing my arms. “Can you ask him to meet me for dinner, at least?”
There’s a slight pause before the female speaks. “King Abaddon will no longer be dining with you.”
“Ever?” I’ll admit, I’m surprised, though I know I shouldn’t be.
That seems exactly like something he’d do.
But I still feel compelled to call him out for it, even if he never hears about my complaints.
“You mean to tell me he’s going to have me eat by myself every single meal?
To spend the entirety of my stay here alone? ”
“We could join you at the table if you’d like, Miss Kae.”
My exasperated expression turns into a distraught frown. I don’t know if dining with these two is a better or worse option. “No, that’s okay… I just… Hell, I don’t even know your names. You do have names, right?”
“Yes. I am Gul.” The female points to herself, then to the other locust. “This is Dal.”
He nods, reaffirming her statement. “Those are our shorthand names. You may use them colloquially.”
Colloquially. So we’re friends now, I guess.
“Gul and Dal. Got it. Well, I’m Kae, as I’m sure you know.” I begin to walk towards the dining hall, and I hear the faint taps of their strange, metallic feet following behind me.
As I pass the doors of obscure rooms on our way to the lobby, an idea occurs to me—one that may seem inconspicuous enough to merit an answer from them. “Say, would either of you happen to know where the library is?”
“There is none.”
I stop, glancing over my shoulder in shock. There’s an entire goddamn castle here, and they don’t have a single library? I have a hard time believing that. “No library? At all?”
Gul nods slowly. “We do not require books to read.”
Well, it’s decided, then.
I can’t trust any of these people.
They don’t read.
Jackie,
First, I’m sure you’ve noticed the return address on this letter is nowhere in Africa. I need you to promise me that you won’t tell my dad about any of this. He’s going to get a letter soon, too, telling him what a wonderful time I’m having with the Peace Corps.
Unfortunately, that’s a lie. I’m in Israel.
I can’t tell you everything, and I’m sorry for that. I promise it’s for everyone’s safety. I know this is about to sound crazy, but I’ve seen some shit you would not believe, and I need you to take me seriously when I say this:
PREPARE FOR CHAOS.
I have undeniable evidence that there’s another world war coming.
I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but the US is not going to be left untouched.
Do whatever you can to make yourself, and our families, more resilient.
Stockpile canned goods, water, medicine.
.. Maybe even buy a gun. I don’t know. You need to research prepping and figure it out for yourself. It’s not going to be pretty.
I wish I could be there to help, but it’s very important that I stay exactly where I am. It’s difficult. I have nobody to talk to—everyone here is so foreign and alien to me—and I can’t use electronics to communicate. The loneliness is going to eat me alive.
Please, tell me how you’re doing. Tell me all about college. You’re still starting at UNC this semester, right? I miss you.
Stay safe.
— Kae