Chapter 32
KAE
I’m in the middle of a very shitty session of weapons training when someone suddenly calls my name from behind me. Knife in hand, I whirl around, only barely stopping myself from throwing it on instinct.
“Jesus Christ, Abaddon! Don’t you know to never sneak up on someone when they’re practicing throwing knives? I could have taken your eye out!”
He tilts his head to the side, puzzled. “I am wearing celestial armor. It would not have even nicked me.” Then his eyes slip to the target behind me—along with the litter of knives lying on the ground around it. “And I highly doubt your knife would have found purchase.”
“It’s… it’s the fucking principle.” Scowling, I sheathe the knife in my belt. “Why are you here?”
“I’ve come to escort you to the cavern for training.”
I glance up at the sky before checking my watch, confirming my suspicions. “It’s very early. I thought we were going to wait for Semyaza and Dusk to join us today?”
“With how long it takes you to walk there, we’ll be lucky to be on time.”
My legs are still killing me from yesterday. I wince to even think about all those stairs. “Actually, uh… I was thinking I might take you up on your offer to fly me.”
An awkward silence stretches between us as he blinks a time or two.
“If you’re still willing, that is,” I add quickly, taking in his scrunched brows and still posture. “You know what? Forget I even asked. Let me grab my things.”
Squatting to the ground, I throw my water bottle and other assorted items into my backpack. It only takes me a moment, and I turn around—then jump as I find he’s snuck up behind me, standing right there.
“Are you ready?”
“Fuck—yeah, sure, let’s go—” My legs are swept out from beneath me, and I swear again. “No, I meant to walk!”
Nope.
We burst into the air with a G-force that makes my stomach feel like it collides into my spine. Clenching my eyes shut tight, I clutch his armor like a cat desperate to get out of water, cursing him under my breath.
Flap. Flap. Flap.
I could almost count how many powerful beats of his wings it takes him to get to the hole in the wall, where the light behind my eyelids darkens.
How is this part of the Abyss lit?
I didn’t notice it yesterday, so I allow myself one little peek out—finding a roof is covered in tiny glowing dots, imitating the night sky.
And Abaddon looks down at me in a faint reverence, clutching me closer to his body, just before we descend towards the river.
He slows us into a controlled fall, tucking his wings in to drop elevation, then flaring them back out to slow us with the draft…
Until, finally, we land just outside the cave.
I’m returned to my feet, and I resist the urge to kiss the dusty ground.
“You kept your eyes open longer that time,” he remarks in a very matter-of-fact way, walking into the cave without looking back. “That’s an improvement.”
“Did I?” I hum to myself, pausing, then proceed to follow him in.
He takes his place on the same boulder, crossing his legs at the ankles, leaning back onto his palms. However, I’m not sure exactly what to do with myself now that we’re here earlier than we’re supposed to be. Maybe we should go over yesterday’s results?
“So,” I start, “I don’t think I got very far yesterday.
I couldn’t feel anything like the Aether.
I know Semyaza is sure I’ll be able to, but I’m not.
Maybe the only thing I’ll be able to do is open the Abyss; it could really take that much power.
I don’t see any of you guys doing it, so it has to be difficult, like ‘all I have to give’ difficult, and… Why do you keep giving me that look?”
“What look?”
“That blank, unfocused expression. Like there’s not a thought in your head!” I talk with my hands, accentuating everything I say in high emotion. “Were you even listening to me?”
“You have doubts, I do not. I felt it prudent to let you express them, still.”
I huff, pinching the bridge of my nose, as if that will relieve some of my tension. “You drive me insane, you know? If you could just let out a little bit more of your emotions, our relationship would be a lot easier. We might actually even be friends.”
“Friends?” His lips downturn, his face tightening into a slight scowl, as he leans forward. “We will never be friends, Kae.”
I still and look at him in shock for a moment before averting my eyes. That hurts more than I care to admit. “Oh... Okay. Sorry, I thought… I don’t know what I thought, actually, but…”
He stands up, his posture straight and rigid, his arms pressed to his sides. “I cannot merely be friends with you. That is not… the relationship I wish to have with you.”
Oh.
“Then what relationship do you want to have?” I don’t know where I find the nerve, but it comes on like an onslaught. Every built-up emotion, all the frustration from before, feels amplified. “Are we ever going to talk about it? What happened before my coma?”
“We don’t have to talk—”
“No! No, Abaddon, we do. Because it’s not even about the kiss.” I point an angry finger at him. “It’s everything you said with it. It’s the fact that you’re not ready for an intimate relationship with me, and you’re trying to blame me for it.”
His face becomes blank again, shutting down. “Your training is more important.”
“For fuck’s sake, Abaddon!” I pull on my hair, letting out a growl of intense frustration. “Is it Dusk? You’re still too jealous of him to open yourself up to me? There is nothing between us. We kissed once after I arrived here, and that was the last of it! It’s over!”
“You… what?” The silver ore in his eyes melts into a burning brightness. “WHEN.”
He takes a loaded step forward, and the hairs on the back of my neck raise. Instinctively, I step back. “A long time ago, Abaddon. Before I ever even met the Council.”
I can immediately tell that’s not a good enough answer for him to accept.
He bristles in rage like never before, as if he’s become an entirely different person, unrecognizable to me. I keep backing up, but he doesn’t stop pushing forward. Not until my back is pressed against the wall of the cave.
“Is that so?” His wings flare out before I can step away, entrapping me. With an awful scraping noise, the sharp talons on the tips of his wings dig into the walls on either side of me, locking in place. “Are you sure it wasn’t after you and I kissed?”
“No! It wasn’t. Of course not!”
“I don’t believe you. Prove it.”
My muscles are coiled tight, just before the point of trembling. For the first time since the day I met him, I’m genuinely afraid he’s going to hurt me. “I… I can’t.”
Wrong answer again.
Abaddon snatches my neck in his hand, tilting my chin up so that I can’t look away from him. He’s so close, breathing down on me, I can see my reflection in his eyes. My face is full of panic and fear, on the verge of tears.
“Did he make you feel whole, Kae?” he growls, his voice low and full of hot coal. “Did it feel good to kiss him when you were thinking of me? You knew very well that I already wanted to kill him for touching you, and yet, you did it anyway. Tell me why that is.”
“You… you can’t j-just tell me… what to do,” I croak out, my voice weak. His grip on my neck is getting tighter and tighter, restricting my air supply until my head feels light. “I don’t… belong to you.”
“Oh, but you do, love.” He leans in, bringing his face to my neck, and inhales against my skin. “You belong to me now. You wanted a commitment, remember? I’ll give you your wish. But nobody else will ever touch you again. Do you understand?”
I’m hanging on by a thread, so close to passing out…
“Do. You. Understand?”
Desperate for air, I have no choice but to nod. And, thankfully, it works. I gasp as the pressure is relieved, gulping down breath with greed—but Abaddon doesn’t move his wings. He keeps me trapped, smiling, as his hands slide down to my hips.
And it’s sick and twisted and doesn’t make any sense, but I can’t deny the way I suddenly feel so aroused. He just scared the ever-loving shit out of me, yet I’m overwhelmingly enamored.
Something is wrong.
He breathes in deep, and his pupils dilate, becoming even wilder.
“That’s right, my pet. My Dawn. You just wanted me too much.
I understand the feeling.” Even his breath is frenetic, breathy, and out of control.
The gap between us disappears as he presses his body against me, gripping my hips painfully tight.
“As much as I’d have loved to indulge you sooner, my self-control is limited with you.
I needed you to be sure, because there is no taking this back. ”
You’re in danger, Kae.
Leaning forward, he lightly brushes his lips against mine. “You are a star, indeed, because I’ve fallen into your orbit. I see now how hopeless it was for me to resist.”
I hesitate—trying to use my logic, to think about all the fear I just had over my own safety—but something inside me rages against it. Worse than a bitch in heat, I’m driven mad with lust. It’s all I can feel now. It’s all I can taste. I need him.
Don’t! Get out!
Like Atlas collapsing under the weight of the world, I give in to his kiss.
Abaddon doesn’t hold back.
Where there was once an exploration, there’s now only greedy consumption. Every one of the seven deadly sins passes through his lips, singing praise to the cardinal evocations.
Before I know it, I’m in the air, wrapping my legs around his waist.
He presses me against the wall, exploring every bit of my mouth with his tongue. Devouring me, body and soul, like the demon king he is. It’s so fervent, so wild, that I reach for the hem of my shirt, ready to rip my clothes off for him—
Then I hear someone swear.
Semyaza?
Slowly, Abaddon pulls his mouth off mine, dragging my lip between his teeth before letting go.
A small smile stays on his lips as he lazily puts me back on my feet, taking a step away from me, leaving my body aching with unresolved tension.
His wings finally collapse in, revealing two angels standing at the entrance to the cave.
One of them stares at me like I’ve just broken something sacred.
“Dusk,” I gasp, clutching my chest in physical pain. “I didn’t know—”
“By all means, don’t let us interrupt.” His voice is curt and cold, but his eyes say everything he won’t admit aloud. “You two are clearly quite busy.”
“Dusk, I’m so sorry!” I rush toward him, but he walks away faster than I can reach him. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to!”
My useless apologies, the nonsensical drivel, go completely ignored. By the time I make it to the cave’s entrance, he’s already in the air. I watch, helpless, as the blur of white and gold disappears over the canyon’s edge.
“It was going to happen eventually,” Abaddon whispers in my ear, suddenly behind me. “I told you. I don’t share.”
I want to fear him. I want to run away.
But I can’t.
All I can feel is the ugly remnants of unquenchable desire for him.
Somehow, I force myself to whirl around, meeting Abaddon’s eyes. “You’ve done enough for today. I’m leaving.”
“Kae—”
“Save it. I do not want to talk to you right now.” Before I begin my trek, I take one last look over my shoulder. “Semyaza, if you’d like to walk with me, feel free.”
I catch him casting an apologetic look at Abaddon before saying quietly, “I’ll make sure she gets back safely, brother.”