Chapter 35 #3
“Simultaneously, Kiba will assume a position within the U.S., since his son is preoccupied with infiltrating the GPO. Between Kiba and Malak, Eretz Yisrael should be able to form an alliance with the first Babylon expeditiously.” He turns to look directly at me—not Dusk, but me—with a spiteful victory written on his face.
“Isn’t that right, our restored Archangel of Lightning?
You will commit yourself to the cause as fervently as Lyra’s grandfather? ”
No, no, no—
A familiar voice comes from across the room, shattering me: “Yes, Principality Michael. I am honored to serve Elohim.”
“…As am I,” Kiba echoes solemnly.
I’m falling underwater. Intense fear, anger, sadness, and then—
Nothing.
The heaviest of my emotions are crushed by the heaviest deadweight.
The sheer strength of the power floods into my veins like a narcotic, wholly consuming me. Where I was once drugged with morphine, it is now fentanyl. There’s nothing left of me but a hollow, robotic shell.
I roll my neck to look at Abaddon, and he spares me a small glance. There’s a furrow in his brow. I think he’s angry with me, so I just don’t look at him anymore. Problem solved.
I stare at the wall in perpetuity, completely dazed and listless. The room continues to talk about the apocalypse, but I don’t hear them. I don’t care to; nothing matters to me anymore. All that’s left in my head is just… silence.
After quite some time—who knows how long—everyone gets up to leave. I hardly notice. I simply continue to stare at the same spot, lacking a drop of motivation to do anything else.
But then the veil lifts, just a tiny bit, as Abaddon walks over to me. He covertly wipes my mouth with the back of his hand, making me realize I was drooling. How unfortunate.
I’d rather he put the veil back down. There’s a splitting headache on the other side, and I have no desire to face it. I have no desire to do anything, ever again.
“Kae, my love,” he says, leaning on the table as he looks down at me. I blink a few times, frowning, but his face won’t come into focus. “I’m going to give you two minutes to say your goodbyes to the Messenger. I’ll be just out in the hall.”
Goodbyes?
Abaddon walks away, the tap of his boots receding like a pendulum clock. Tok, tok, tok…
Dusk is suddenly sitting in the chair next to me.
“Kae?”
He sounds worried. I think I don’t want that, but I’m not sure. The links in my brain are broken, fried like an egg. I can’t find my memories, feelings, or words. It’s all just mush.
“I’m confused,” I mutter.
I am so very confused. Nothing makes sense right now. Why was I just thinking about fried eggs? Am I hungry? I can’t tell, and I don’t really want to.
“I know,” Dusk whispers, leaning forward. He’s looking me in the eyes, but I’m only somewhat focusing on his face as a whole. It’s blurry, just like everything else. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I mumble.
Shame crosses his face. “For what it’s worth, the nomination wasn’t a request of me. It was an order. They planned this.”
I don’t know why he’s being so quiet, let alone what he’s talking about. Those are certainly a lot of words.
“Oh…” What am I supposed to say? “Okay.”
“I’m so sorry. I know it hurts, but I also know you’ll be okay. You never needed me to be powerful. I just like to think I helped you get there.”
Some still-missing piece of myself whispers, “Don’t go...”
“I’ll come back when I can.” He smiles sadly, taking my hands in his. “You’ll forever be the Dawn to my Dusk—always and never together.”
Something deep inside me hurts over that.
But it’s so far away, hidden in a well of shadows. Just barely, I can hear echoes coming from it, and someone… I think I’m forgetting someone important.
“Jackie,” I whisper. She needs me, maybe. Or do I need her?
I don’t know. Mush.
“Jackie?” His eyebrows push together, making a grumpy face. I might laugh at it if I were feeling better. Instead, I think I have a very bad fever coming on. “What about her? Is she in danger?”
“Maybe?” I look up at him, hopelessly confused.
The footsteps are coming back. Tok, tok…
“Do I need to get Jackie out?” Dusk’s eyes track someone behind me.
I nod my head because, sure, that sounds right.
“Alright, Messenger,” the person behind me says. That’s Abaddon. Right. My husband. Or… fiancé. I’m not sure. “You should be on your way now.”
“You once swore an oath to Kesbeel that you’d protect her in my absence, Abaddon. I am counting on you to keep your word.”
He did?
Hands grip my shoulders from above, and the angel’s voice grows colder. “She will be safe with me. I’ll make sure of it. Now, I hope you do not expect any sort of hug goodbye from my bride. You will not be touching her anymore. Never again.”
“I understand. She’s made her choice, then.” Dusk stands up, and I know he’s serious. This is very serious. I just wish I could think straight. “So pray, little Kae, love is God on a good day.”
Whatever that means, I don’t get a chance to ask.
He gives me one last sad smile before walking away, abandoning me to the very last person I should be left alone with.