Chapter 37
Kae,
I’m pissed that nobody thought to inform me about your ENGAGEMENT… But no worries. A little birdie told me exactly where I can find you, and I’m on my way to help you plan the wedding.
Be sure to tell your fiancé that I can’t wait to meet him.
Literally.
— Jackie
KAE
Either angels carry superbug viruses, or someone in the war room tried to kill me.
My brain’s been absolutely fried. Abaddon told me that he had to carry me out of the meeting after I became delirious with fever, but I don’t remember it. I think the fever might have even caused brain damage, because the whole day is a black hole for me. And I missed a lot.
Abaddon and I came up with a plan to fake our engagement to give me the protections of being a literal fucking queen, Dusk decided to go start World War III, and the Profuga are working for the Council now.
No big deal.
I was stuck in bed, violently ill, all day yesterday.
Thank God, the healers seemed to have figured out a cure for it overnight.
They probably could have done it on the first night, but I digress.
I feel miraculously renewed this morning, and that’s all that matters.
Well, I’m also completely convinced that Raphael is hoarding enough medical knowledge to cure all human illnesses, but I’ll have to pick that fight with him later.
I know I should keep resting and rehydrating, but by the time the afternoon rolls around, I’m bored out of my mind. Plus, I’ve been dying to test out my new gear. So I take a shower, sneak down to the training yard, and begin to slice into some meat sack dummies.
Tumultuari cuts through them like they’re butter, while my cloak adapts to my every move. It’s light as a feather, keeping me at the perfect internal temperature. Hell, I should have put it on when I had a fever!
Unfortunately, I only last about an hour or two before the dehydration has me feeling dizzy. Loading up on some electrolyte drinks, I head to a quiet place just outside the training arena, and I sit down with Tumultuari in my lap.
When I concentrate hard enough, I can feel it channeling the Aether through me. Following the path to it, though, is nearly impossible. There doesn’t seem to be any specific bridge. It’s more like the entire sky is the Aether, and I’m futilely trying to squeeze clouds for a drop of rain.
My focus is rudely interrupted when Abaddon lands next to me out of nowhere, so hard that the earth indents.
I look up at him, confused, finding that his face is wrought with fury. Surely he’s not that mad I’m back to training.
“Uh… is everything okay?”
“We have a problem.” He jabs a piece of paper out to me, and I grab it hesitantly. Within seconds of unfolding it, I read the short letter, and my stomach instantly sours.
“You’re reading my letters?”
He blinks. “Oh? Were you going to hide it from me? That wouldn’t work very well when your human friend shows up at the gates. If she even made it there. Both the Adversary or the Elohim could have grabbed her the moment she suspiciously landed in Israel.”
I can feel his fury coming to a boil, and I instinctively grab the hilt of my blade for comfort.
“Look, I don’t know how the hell Jackie found out about our engagement, and I certainly didn’t invite her here, if that’s what you’re implying.
Maybe it’s a trap of some sort.” I glance back down at the note, thinking about whoever tried to roast me in the war room.
The Adversary could have had spies in there, for all I know.
“She always types her letter, so if someone was trying to lure me out, they wouldn’t even have to fake her chicken scratch handwriting. ”
He closes his eyes, taking a simmering breath. “You’re not lying.”
“Of course I’m not. And you should really learn to trust me, rather than doing your weird angel lie-detector thing.”
“I’m sorry, Kae,” he sighs, looking at me with a pensive expression.
“I shouldn’t have assumed this was your doing.
Clearly, this is the work of the Messenger.
You didn’t see him when he was leaving—he was out of his mind with jealousy, given our engagement.
But to risk your best friend by bringing her here, amid the hostile takeover going on just outside the gate… It’s reckless, even for him.”
I feel that like a punch to the gut. Of course it’s Malak. I spoke to him about Jackie all the time. Hell, he probably even thinks he’s doing me a favor by bringing her here. As if that could win me over!
“I can’t believe him.” I shake my head, sheathing my dagger. “I thought he was upset about us, after the kiss and all, but this is so out of line. He’s going to get her killed.”
“Don’t worry, my love.” Abaddon holds out his hand to me, offering to help me off the ground. “I promise you, I will make sure Jackie is safe.”
After slipping my dagger in my pocket, I take his hand, rising to my feet. But I don’t let go of it. I pull him towards me, looking him in the eyes, searching for answers. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“You keep calling me your love. Do you really… love… me?”
“I…” He stumbles in surprise before quickly collecting himself. “Yes, Kae. I do. I love you more than Heaven and Earth and everything between. You are my sun, and I am hopelessly caught in your orbit. I hope that doesn’t frighten you.”
“No. That doesn’t scare me, Abaddon. The only thing that scares me is what’s going to happen to my family—especially Jackie.
If she doesn’t already know the truth, she’s close to it.
She’s not going to stop looking for me. It’s dangerous out there, and…
” I swallow, my heart pounding in my chest. My words feel like bile, but I still force myself to say them.
“And I could really use her here for the wedding.”
A slow, ecstatic smile spreads over Abaddon’s face. I’ve never seen him so happy. “Are you saying you want the wedding?”
I can’t lie to him, so I find some truth in it. I genuinely think it’s the best option I have right now, so in that way… “Yes.”
It’s sudden, yes, but his loyalty has never wavered. He’s not perfect, but who is? The world is ending. Abaddon is a powerful partner to have, and he can help me keep Jackie safe. I don’t like it right now, but I’ll find a way to live with it.
I want to leave it at that and move on, but Abaddon clearly doesn’t. He quickly closes the distance between us, cupping my face in his hands. I can feel his emotions soaring into me, overruling all of my own—
“I do love you, Kae,” he whispers. I feel every bit of his joy, desire, and the obsession he thinks is love. It’s all I can feel. “I love you more than anyone has loved a woman before. If your friend is what you need to feel at home here, then I’ll give her to you on a silver platter.”
Suddenly, his lips are on mine, and I’ve lost myself.
He’s like a drug, intoxicating me with the best kind of high.
A small, distant, foreign part of me despises it. She wants to fight it, but I can’t be bothered. I’m so empty, and Abaddon is what I can use to fill the void growing inside me. Even if it isn’t love—even if I don’t love him back.
So I meet his kiss with zeal, unrestrained and insatiable.
Radiating desire even stronger to me, his lips have to fight with my own for control.
His hand slips under my rear, pulling me up into the air while my legs wrap around him.
My back is slammed into a nearby wall with excessive force, but I hardly notice the pain.
Not with his hands roaming up my sides, his lips slipping down to my neck, his mouth passionately sucking on my skin.
A moan slips out of me, and I don’t even care who hears it.
With my nails digging into his neck, I’m carving Hell into my Heaven.
“Let me claim you,” he breathes, his voice ragged. “Right now.”
I want to abandon everything but desire. Only desire. Only pleasure. No more emptiness.
“Do it—”
The words are barely out of my mouth before he’s carrying me into the nearest weight room. By the time he sits me down on a bench, I’ve thrown my cloak onto the ground, and my top soon follows.
There’s something ravenous and feral in his eyes, frozen as he watches me stripping. Pulling my pants off, my underwear. I don’t even bother with the boots. I just need skin on skin. It’s unlike me to be so desperate, but I don’t care. I need him.
Not want, but need.
“You are the only selfish thing I’ve ever done.” He trails a hand down my leg, bringing chills across my skin. “From the second I laid eyes on you, I wanted you all to myself. Even if I didn’t want to admit to it, you already had my devotion. Now I will claim every inch of you. You belong to me.”
The tip of his wing touches my chin, lifting it so that I look him directly in the eyes. “I want you to say it. Say who you belong to.”
Darkness begins to cloud my vision. I’m losing my grip on reality. If there was a part of me that didn’t want this, she’s long gone now. All I want now is pleasure. His pleasure. My pleasure. Nothing else.
“I belong to you, Abaddon.”
I wake up to an erection threatening to enter me.
My eyes flare open.
I’m in a bedroom. Abaddon’s bedroom. Naked and previously unconscious. On instinct, I scatter away from him, rolling over in bed to face my company.
“Good morning, my love.” He greets me with a lazy smile, seeming perfectly content.
My pulse skyrockets in sheer panic.
The last thing I knew, I was training, and Abaddon… well, he showed up, and we fucked in the weight room. I remember that much, but it’s hazy. The rest blurs into a void of nothing, and I have no clue how or when I got to his bedroom.
“We…” I trail off, uselessly trying to swallow the dryness in my mouth. “We had sex.”
“All through the night, yes.”
His eyes roam over me, darkening when they fall on my bare chest. Self-conscious, I pull the sheet over myself, even if my skin is slick with sweat. Even if it’s a million goddamn degrees in here.