Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
ADELE
Maybe worth the risk
Please. Give me a chance.
A little while later, I rubbed the repeat of Cole’s words like stones in my pocket when I was worried about something. They were both a comfort and a sign I was distressed.
I wanted—almost desperately—to give him a chance. And yet, he upended my emotional state and my equilibrium. Because I had always told myself I would never need anyone. Maybe that was because I had needed so much when I was younger before they fixed my broken heart.
My literal broken heart.
Kendall said something, followed with “Adele?” and I glanced over.
“Yeah?”
Her brows rose slowly, her lips teasing with a smile. “You seem a little distracted.”
I pressed my lips together and let out a sigh. “I am.”
“What’s up?” she asked, as she spread some straw on the ground. One of the goats, Dolly, came trotting over, romping through it in joy.
“Goats are good for your nervous system,” she offered.
I laughed, watching Dolly. “They are, huh? Who knew?”
“This one’s Tommy’s favorite.”
“Well, she’s so cute.”
“She’s a heart-stealer,” Kendall replied with a grin.
She crossed over to put the pitchfork away on a row of hooks that held an array of farm and garden tools. “It’s Cole, isn’t it?” she asked, pulling off her gloves and thwacking them lightly against her jeans.
Heat burned in my cheeks. I rolled my eyes before finally shrugging. “I guess it is.”
“Cole’s got a heart of gold.”
“Really?” I heard myself asking before I could stop it.
Kendall crossed over and sat down across from me where I was seated on a bale of hay.
She took the other bale in this area. Apparently, Tommy would be stopping by later to carry them up to the hayloft.
“All the Silver guys are good. I promise.”
“Maybe you’re biased, seeing as you’re married to Jude,” I pointed out.
Kendall laughed softly, her smile warm. “I mean, maybe. But it’s true.
I’ve known them all since I moved here in middle school.
They’re all salt-of-the-earth, solid, good people.
” She tipped her head to the side, her gaze contemplative.
“Cole is, well, he’s the one who’s always quick with a joke.
Always ready to make you laugh. Maybe he’s never been serious.
I’m not going to pretend he has, but he’s honest. And I think he really likes you. ”
“How do you even know that?” I burst out, throwing my hands up in the air.
“It’s a feeling. In the way he looks at you.” She shrugged. “Plus, Jude said so.”
“Jude said so? We’re just going to go on his word?”
“Jude’s word is good.” As I eyed her skeptically, she twisted her lips to the side and let out a sigh.
“Obviously, I can’t see the future. There’s no way to know how things are going to play out.
But I’ve never seen Cole react to anyone the way he does to you.
He’s never really paid attention to anyone like this.
” She lifted her hands to tighten her ponytail.
I picked up a few loose pieces of hay off the floor, twisting them together absentmindedly. “Look, it’s not just him. Maybe he really does like me. But while I don’t do casual, I also never imagined being serious with anyone.”
Kendall simply nodded at that ridiculous contradiction. “Okay. Well, I guess you could just use him for a good time,” she pointed out dryly.
A disbelieving laugh sputtered out of me. The funny thing was, my heart twisted at Kendall’s teasing suggestion. I sensed that would hurt Cole, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
“He told me he wanted me to give him a chance.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, so he just went for it?”
I felt a sheepish smile curling my lips. “I guess he did.”
“Look, I’m not a romance expert. At all. But what makes you declare you don’t want to ever be serious?”
I hesitated, but I was in this, so I pushed ahead.
“Well, you know about my heart situation. It’s fine now.
It really is. I do have to get it monitored and whatever, but I should be fine.
” I let out a sigh. “But when I was little, it was a lot. I was constantly dependent on others. People were always worried about me.” I tried to find the best way to explain.
“I’ve been to therapy to process all that.
The life I have now, where I lead hikes and want to visit every national park in Alaska… ”
I paused, glancing at Kendall, who chimed in. “I understand. I need to feel independent and I love it.”
I nodded, a sense of clarity filling me. “I really do. Maybe in part because I couldn’t do these things when I was younger. And now I can.”
Kendall watched me, the warmth of her gaze both comforting and firm.
“And so, maybe I have more of a need to handle things on my own than most,” I hedged.
Kendall leaned back, crossing her arms with a soft laugh. “So, caring about someone else is a problem?”
I sort of glared at her. “No.”
She raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to explain it. I was just scared. The way I felt about Cole legitimately frightened me.
Kendall tilted her head to the side. “Well, how do you feel about Cole?”
The minute she said his name, I felt that familiar flutter deep inside me, the one that was becoming specific to him. My belly felt tingly, my skin prickly, and my heart ached just a little bit. Because I wanted something with Cole that I’d never wanted before.
“I like him,” I admitted, my voice just above a whisper. “And that really stresses me out.”
Kendall’s gaze was understanding, and there was a moment of silence between us. She leaned forward. “Well, then maybe you give him a chance.”