Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
ADELE
Goats, hay, and pesky feelings
I pressed my fingers together, spinning a piece of hay in a circle between them.
Kendall stepped out of the stall, tipping her head to the side as she eyed me. “Wow. You look stressed out. Are you sure you’re up for this today?” Her concerned gaze skated over my face.
“Oh, of course! I want to help,” I replied quickly.
“Then, what is going on?”
She’d asked me to stop by the rescue program today—Tommy had started cross-country running after school, so she needed help here and there moving hay and feeding the animals. She’d even offered to pay me. I not only didn’t mind helping out, but I enjoyed spending time with Kendall.
“Why not?” she’d pressed when I’d shaken my head at her offer to pay.
“Because I refuse.”
She’d rolled her eyes. Now we were done moving the hay, and she was eyeing me with mild concern, tightening her ponytail where her brown curls tumbled wild.
“I’m worried about me and about Cole,” I admitted.
Her brows arched high. “Is he okay?”
“Oh, he’s fine,” I rushed to clarify. “It’s, uh, me and him.”
“Okay, but what’s going on? You two seem like you’re in a good space.”
I wrinkled my nose, before leaning back against the barn wall. “I think we are. I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
“What do you mean? There is no ‘ready,’ by the way.”
“What do you mean?” I pressed.
“Look,” Kendall began, brushing hay off her jeans and sitting beside me on the hay bale.
“I’m happy with Jude. Totally in love. We’re committed.
We’re married. But still, stuff comes up and life isn’t easy.
And it took me a while to figure this out, but I think that’s the trick—accepting that it’s not just the relationship.
It’s all of life.” She gestured her hands in a wide circle, as if encompassing the whole world.
“Most of the time, you’re not going to feel ready.
You’ll keep stumbling along anyway. I’m not saying I know what should happen between you and Cole.
But I do know the way he looks at you, and I know the way you look at him. ”
My gaze dipped down, worrying my thumb along the hem of my shirtsleeve. “I feel bad about not telling him.”
“Not telling him what?”
“The thing with the guy who tried to assault me a few years ago.”
Kendall’s voice was steady. “We don’t have to tell each other everything.
I heard about all that from Jude, of course.
But Adele, honestly? I don’t believe there’s a couple alive who tells each other everything—past, present, or future.
” She shrugged as she brushed errant pieces of hay off her shirt.
“It’s fine that it came out, because you saw the guy.
But even if you had never decided to talk about it, that’s okay.
We all have stuff we carry. And I hate this thing where people act like we’re supposed to pour out every damn detail of our past like it’s mandatory. ”
“Really?” This was a perspective I’d never considered.
“Yeah,” she said with a small grin. “Of course it matters to trust each other enough to be honest and open. But people find their own way and open up in their own time. And that’s okay.
Spilling all the things early on isn’t really natural.
You have to have a time and place where it comes up and makes sense.
” She sighed and looked over at me. “You and Cole are pretty fresh. Were you supposed to give him a blow-by-blow of your whole life by this point?”
“I guess I thought so,” I said, letting a sigh filter out.
“This was something personal, something that affected you. And yeah, you probably felt like you should have told him when everything went down. But you did, when the time was right. It’s not like you were keeping a secret about something you did to hurt him.
This was something someone else did to you.
Someone who wasn’t even a part of your life beyond a passing interaction before. ”
“I know,” I murmured.
Kendall rolled her head to the side to look at me, a soft smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. “You could always, I don’t know, talk to Cole about this.”
My cheeks got hot, and I felt sheepish. “Kendall!”
“Crazy, I know, but you could talk about how you’re feeling.”
I let out a shuddering sigh. “I’ve never had a serious relationship,” I admitted.
“Oh, I get that. The only serious relationship I’ve ever had is with Jude. Before you point out that we were best friends for years before we got together—yes, true. But we didn’t talk before the way we do now.”
“I understand.”
Just then, Chloe came walking into the barn, looking between us curiously. “What’s up?”
“She’s worried about Cole,” Kendall said.
“Oh my God, that man is so in love with you,” Chloe said, grinning. “Called it.” I blinked. “Even Tommy thinks it’s fated,” she added.
“What are you talking about?” Bewildered, I looked between them.
Kendall nodded. “He’s very happy about it, and honestly, he’s got a good track record.”
“Track record?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up.
“Yes,” she said solemnly. “At identifying positive matches for his family members.”
“Well, that’s one way to put it,” Chloe snorted.
“What are you doing over here anyway?” I asked, eyeing the bag she held in her arms.
Chloe held it up. “Oh, I came to give this to the goats. Maggie said these are all bits and pieces from her garden she doesn’t need,” she explained.
“Oh, yes,” Kendall replied, taking the bag from her. “Perfect.”
The three of us walked together out through the open barn door that led to the little pasture where the goats lived.
Kendall gave a low whistle as she scattered the vegetable scraps on the ground.
The goats came running—full sprint, no hesitation, and all over the place with not even a glance of acknowledgment in our direction.
“Wow,” Kendall teased. “Way to say thanks.”
We laughed as we turned and walked back into the barn. Chloe reached for a quick side hug, squeezing my shoulders before letting her arm fall away.
“You’ve got this,” she said. “Stop worrying about Cole. Honestly, it seems like you might be overthinking this.”
“Story of my life,” I said dryly.