Chapter 9 Asher
Asher
Addicting. Tempting. All mine.
Light shimmers through the windows, bathing the room in a kaleidoscope of golds, pinks, and blues reflecting off the butterfly window chime that hangs on her bedroom window.
My eyes drift closed as my face stretches into a lazy smile, allowing the morning sun to brush warm strokes against my cheek.
Early spring mornings are my favorite. The world is quiet.
No one’s rushing around frantically trying to get from place to place.
It’s just calm. Peaceful. Perfect.
Speaking of perfection, I suck in a deep breath, and my senses are overcome with the warm, sweet aroma of vanilla coffee. Sugary notes dance around me as I breathe deeper, filling my lungs with the smell of her.
Addicting. Tempting. All mine.
Bri.
I shift my body, glancing at the woman next to me.
Bri must have shifted in her sleep, as her back is now pressed against my front.
My hand that’s sprawled across her stomach is interlocked with hers.
Chestnut hair cascades chaotically down her back, rendering me speechless.
The sun’s got nothing on her radiant glow.
Seriously, she could be dressed in a garbage bag with yesterday's makeup smeared across her face, and I’d still find her incredibly sexy.
The rhythmic rise and fall of her chest might have an outsider believe she’s at peace, but I know her.
And if what happened last night is any indication of what's happening beneath the surface, then my girl's pain is multilayered. And how she talked about herself yesterday? It left a gaping hole in my heart. She’s so goddamn breathtaking, always has been. And it’s not just her looks; it never has been.
Bri's beauty is beyond skin deep. Her body houses a heart so pure and generous it warms even the coldest of souls. The aura around her is so powerful, you can't help but be sucked into the orbit. Her love is a force to be reckoned with. She’ll stop at nothing to make sure her loved ones are happy. If only she could turn that outward love inward. But her body? Fuck, I could explore her for hours and it’d never be enough.
My lips brush ever so softly against the nape of her neck, which in turn has her wiggling further into me…
into my morning wood. Fuck. That wasn’t so smart.
I grip her hip to prevent her from doing it again, but her ass accidently grinds against my painfully hard cock.
Now is not the time. And definitely not how I should be thinking about Max’s little sister.
Although, if I’m being honest, anytime I’m around Bri, I forget all my reasons why I should stay away.
Better to ask forgiveness than ask for permission, right?
I hear the sheets rustle, and I can feel her shift in my arms. But am I looking at her? No. My eyes are glued shut, breathing through my mouth and willing my dick to chill the fuck out.
“Asher?” Bri’s husky voice does little to no favors to my situation. But I’m a sucker for her soulful eyes, so I meet her gaze. When our eyes meet, her smile widens.
I want to take a picture of this moment, blow it up, and put it on my wall. I simply return her stare, and when she squints her eyes at me and purses her lips, I realize I must be hardcore staring.
“What?” Bri asks, her voice still coated with sleep.
“You’re gorgeous, Bri.”
Bri gasps and bites her lip, a sign that she’s nervous. I rub my thumb against her lower lip, attempting to free it from its captor. About a million different emotions flash behind her honey-colored irises.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” I ask, not expecting an answer, but surprised when she lets me in.
“I’m embarrassed about yesterday. I, well…I don’t like people seeing me like that, so…” She averts her eyes, and I give her a moment to process what she wants to say.
“So weak and defective,” she finishes.
Well damn. Her words are a mallet to my heart, shattering it into a million pieces.
“Brianna, look at me,” I demand. When she refuses to do so, I grip her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
“You are not weak or defective. You are possibly the strongest woman I know. You went through something that could so easily destroy a person beyond repair. But you? You get up every damn day and carry on. That is one of the strongest and sexiest things you could do.”
“But sometimes I can’t even take a shower, let alone brush my teeth. I make cereal for just about every meal, and sometimes I wear days old sweats. How is that sexy or strong?”
“Bear, you’re healing. I know this is easier said than done, but you need to allow yourself some time. Some grace. But if you can’t do that, then let me help you carry some of the load. No one should have to carry the heaviness all on their own.”
She searches my face for what I assume is bullshit, but she won’t find any there. I mean every damn word I said. She’s quiet for a moment before she presses a gentle kiss on my chest, and I feel it everywhere.
“I might just take you up on it. Since you said you’d help carry some of the load, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Anything,” I murmur.
“I need to go through my office and clear out all the books I have.”
Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting her to say.
“But you love to read. Why are you getting rid of them?”
That’s one of the things Bri and I have in common.
It may have started out as me reading books to find a way to connect with her, but I’ve fallen in love with the hobby.
Bri’s face always lit up whenever she would talk about a book she was currently reading.
My recommendations have never been the same, and honestly?
I love it. Who knew smut could be so informative?
“I don’t anymore. Well, that’s not entirely true. I just can’t bring myself to pick up a book. Not after everything that happened with Max and I—” Her voice tapers off, and there’s a look of pure horror written across her beautiful features.
“What does Max have to do with wanting to get rid of your books?”
“You don’t really want to hear all that.” She waves her hands in a desperate attempt to dismiss her feelings.
“I always want to hear what you have to say. If you’re open to sharing, I’m open to listening.”
Bri’s eyes begin to water, and my body shakes with how hard she’s crying, so I let her get it out.
Whatever she’s holding onto has been building for months, and I’m glad she’s letting it out with me.
She doesn’t have to share everything with me, but I feel like she’s letting me in.
And that’s a gift I plan to cherish with my whole heart.
I hear her let out a shaky sigh, and I don’t let her go until she pulls away from me.
“Hey, you don’t need to tell me anything. This is your story to tell. You’re in control here.”
“No. I want to tell you. I just don’t want you to think I’m stupid. Logically, I know that how I’m feeling is irrational, but emotionally, I can’t wrap my head around that fact.”
“I will never think you’re stupid. Screw logical thinking. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.”
“Right. Well, you remember the accident?” When I nod my head, she continues.
“So, I’d been pestering Max to go axe throwing with me. It’s been on my bucket list for, like, ever. It took him a minute to agree, so when he finally caved, I booked the room right away.
“On our way to the place, Max and I were jamming in the car, reminiscing on our childhood memories. Despite his resistance, Max was excited to do this with me. He’s great that way.
He’s always doing things for others just because it makes them happy.
It’s one of the things I love most about him.
” Bri’s face distorts with emotional pain, and it guts me.
“Baby, you don’t have to keep going. We can stop here.” I trace patterns on her arms, hoping to give her some comfort.
“No, I need to get this out. We were at a stop light singing at the top of our lungs and laughing our asses off.
The minute the light turns green, I step on the gas.
Within a matter of seconds, my car is struck on the passenger side.
I guess a drunk driver blew through a red light and slammed into Max.
“Cut to us in the hospital. Max is unconscious in the operating room, and I have a minor concussion and some scrapes and scratches. I barely had anything wrong with me, while Max was fighting for his life. I wanted to go fucking axe throwing.” She sucks in a breath, darkness shrouding her features with how difficult this has been for her.
“Bri…” I whisper her name, tracing slow, soothing patterns across her cheek with my thumb.
"It was because of me. I wanted to go, he didn't. I begged. He agreed." Regret swims in her gaze. "He needed all of those surgeries because of me."
Bri hides behind her hands, looking like she wants to crawl into a hole and disappear. The breath I’ve been holding rushes out of me. Here is a woman who’s been holding onto this unnecessary guilt. The amount of weight that Bri has been carrying on her shoulders is unfathomable.
“Bri. That’s some heavy shit you’re carrying.
The only person who should feel any guilt is the person who decided to drive drunk.
I know that believing what I say is easier said than done.
It kills me to know you’ve been battling these demons by yourself.
I know I haven’t been your favorite person, but I’m here for you. Whenever you need.”
“I…I don’t hate you. Well, not anymore, I don’t.”
Her words feel like a lullaby to my soul, providing soothing comfort and healing a part of my younger self. My younger self who so desperately ached for her.
My fingers brush her silky tendrils away from her face, the smooth texture reminiscent of the highest quality cashmere sweater. A thought pops into my head, but I’m not sure how she’ll take it. I try anyway in hopes that her lack of hatred for me will remain intact.
“Have you thought about talking to someone? Therapy has been really helpful when I had to work through my issues with my brother.”
“I’ve been so consumed by my guilt and shame that I haven’t thought about it much. I feel that because of everything that’s happened, I have to suffer the consequences.”
“Baby, you never have to suffer alone. Going through so much trauma alone is too much for anyone to handle. Promise me you’ll think about going?”
“I don’t want to be a burden—”
“You couldn’t be a burden even if you tried. Just promise me.”
“I promise.” I’m not entirely convinced, but I’ll take it for now.
“Great. If you really want to get rid of the books, I’ll help you. I’ll even donate them to a thrift store.”
“I—Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”
“Of course. Now, let's get to work.” Little does she know that I won’t be donating shit. I plan to keep these books in pristine condition until she’s ready. She deserves the world, and I’m the guy to give it to her.