Chapter 37
Brianna
My life has felt like an endless thunderstorm
My head is pounding when I wake. After the night I had, it doesn’t come as a surprise to me.
What does shock me is waking up alone. Asher’s side of the bed is cool to the touch, alerting me that he’s been up for some time.
The sound of crinkling paper has me turning over, and that’s when I see it.
A piece of paper with Asher’s familiar scrawl.
Good morning, beautiful. Head downstairs when you wake up—Asher
Warmth spreads throughout my body like that first sip of morning coffee.
I toss the blanket to the side and run to my closet.
The feel of the silk pajama set glides across my skin like a swimmer in water.
My eyes flick to the pair of sweats I used to live in, and pride radiates inside my chest at how far I’ve come.
The gray sweats represent a time in my life when my world was void of all color.
When everything was crashing down around me, cloaking my world in complete darkness.
I hug the fabric against my chest, thanking them for their love and support before placing them in their designated spot.
The closet door closes with a soft click, and I slip my feet into my fuzzy slippers before walking downstairs.
The smell of vanilla waffles assaults my nose.
I turn the corner into the kitchen and my breath hitches.
Spread out before me are all my favorites.
There’s the main dish, the vanilla waffles, but next to it is a bowl of the juiciest, most ripe looking watermelon I’ve ever seen.
My favorite iced coffee sits on the other side, and I watch as drips of condensation race down the plastic cup.
The sound of sizzling has my attention snapping to the oven where a shirtless Asher is cooking.
I should be concerned about the potential burns he might get, but I can’t help but ogle him.
Seriously, the man is fucking built. He’s the perfect amount of muscular—not too bulky but not too skinny.
Avery may like her men skinny, but when I touch a man, I want something to grab onto.
And Asher has plenty of muscles for me to explore.
I watch, completely mesmerized as his back muscles ripple like fresh raindrops on a crystal lake while he flips whatever he’s making.
Asher’s skin glows underneath the sun's rays, illuminating the most delicious back dimples that I want to sink my teeth into.
Great. Now I’m horny and hungry—which seems to be a permanent feat with him around.
I glide over toward him and feel his muscles tense when I press a kiss against his back.
I wrap my arms around his middle, letting the heat from his skin soak into mine.
My face is buried into his back, and I inhale the now familiar scent of cinnamon and leather.
My mouth waters, and not from the smell of turkey bacon and hashbrowns crackling in the pan.
The burners click off, and Asher transfers everything from frying pan to plate.
He turns around, lifting me up and plopping me onto the counter next to the stove.
The cold countertop shocks my system with the same intensity as stepping into an ice cold pool.
Asher steps in between my legs as my arms wrap around his neck.
Our lips meet, the kiss languid and sensual. Our tongues intimately dance together as soft moans fill the space. Asher is the first to pull back, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ears. His eyes scan my face and when his gaze meets mine, I see the love there.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning. How long have you been up? I woke up and you weren’t there.” My fingers scratch his scalp and Asher’s eyes flutter closed while leaning into my touch.
“I’ve been up for a while, planning some things for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah, last night was a lot for you, so I thought you’d need a reset day.” I pull my hands out of his hair, my arms falling limp against my sides.
Yesterday started off amazing, especially before the bar opened. But then Giselle had to open her damn mouth and started pelting pitches at me that I had a hard time dodging. Insecurity after insecurity was hurled at me, and the armor that I’ve spent so much time rebuilding cracked.
While my shield didn’t shatter completely, it fractured just enough to let the panic attack slither its way in. And then I came up to the scene of the accident, and the small grip I had on my feelings combusted.
“Thank you for coming to help me.”
“Bri, you don’t have to thank me for something I’d do in a heartbeat. You needed me, so I came. End of story. How are we feeling?”
How am I feeling?
I sit in silence, processing everything that’s transpired within the last nine or so hours.
If he had asked me the question last night, my answer would have been that I felt broken and hurt.
Now? I feel a sense of determination looming over the horizon like a sunrise.
I meant what I said last night. I think it’s time for me to talk to my brother.
I’m no longer a puppet on a string, controlled by the hands of my depression.
I’ve been reintroduced to myself, and I love who I see.
She’s beautifully bold and has learned to fall in love with herself again.
She’s accepted herself as is—which includes embracing every inch of her body.
She’s learning to regain control over her life and taking risks.
She’s beautifully me, and a big reason for it is the man standing in front of me.
“I think I’m okay. Yeah, last night was rough, and had you asked me yesterday, I would have had a completely different answer.
Giselle is a miserable human who thrives off exploiting people’s insecurities, and honestly?
I think she did me a favor. I’ve been succumbing to my fears and anxieties for way too long.
And the only way for me to let them go is to face them head on.
I’ve been avoiding Max for way too long.
He’s the only person who can shut those fears down for good. ”
“Bri, you are inspiring. I hope you know that. You’ve taken something traumatic and turned it into something beautiful.
Sure, in the beginning you were struggling, a woman stranded in the middle of the ocean with nothing to cling to.
Instead of letting yourself drown, you created your own life preserver and saved yourself. You are your own hero, Bri.”
Asher’s words rob me of breath and my eyes sting with unshed tears.
Of all the things he’s said to me, this one hits different.
I press rewind on everything that’s happened since Avery decided to crawl under the covers and hold me in her arms. I’ve credited a lot of my progress to her and Asher.
Now, I’m looking at each scene through a new lens, and I see what Asher sees.
True, they may have helped me heal, but the common theme in every image that flashes through my mind is me.
I asked for help. I stepped out of my comfort zone.
Me. I did it. My body shakes with happy tears.
“Baby,” Asher says before pulling me into his arms.
“I did it. I did this. I-I’m the reason I am who I am today. It’s all because of me.” My words and tears are free flowing out of me.
My life has felt like an endless thunderstorm, one after another flooding my entire life with pain and heartbreak. Now, in this moment, I see the rainbow peeking through, and its colors are intense and vibrant.
“You did it. I’m so proud of you.” Asher rubs soothing circles across my back, providing similar comfort to a mother rocking an infant to sleep.
“I’m proud of myself, too,” I admit, which has both of us laughing.
“I think we should probably eat breakfast now. Most of it is probably cold now, lukewarm at best.” Asher pulls out of my arms to grab plates on the counter to bring them over to the table.
I hop off the counter to join him. Sounds of silverware clanking against plates fill the open kitchen in surround sound.
“So, I had an idea that I wanted to run by you,” I say in between bites.
“Lay it on me,” Asher replies before bringing a mug of steaming hot coffee to his lips.
I’m momentarily distracted by watching his throat work as the liquid glides down his throat.
I squeeze my legs together as I think about another warm thing sliding down my throat.
Asher clears his throat, and my face heats.
“What are you thinking about?” Asher’s smirk tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking about.
“Oh, nothing. Anyway, my idea. One of my goals was to take more risks and regain control of my life. I feel like I’ve started to do that. But I’ve been putting something off for a while. An experience I’m in desperate need of a redo.” Asher turns in his chair, giving me his undivided attention.
“I’m listening.”
“I want to go axe throwing. According to my parents, they told the place about the accident, and I have, like, a credit, I guess. All I have to do is tell them my name and I can come in whenever. I was supposed to do this with Max, but I want to experience this with you. So, would you go axe throwing with me?”
Asher rises from his chair and crouches down in front of me, the press of his hands on my thighs sending electrical currents throughout my body.
“I would be honored to go with you. Mind if I invite my brother and his wife? They’ve been dying to meet you.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll make a reservation for this Sunday?”
“That should work, let me text my brother to make sure he’s down.” Asher types away on his phone, and the reply is instantaneous.
“He says they’re in.” I lean down and press a chaste kiss to his lips before returning to my breakfast. I can’t wait to share a lifetime of breakfasts with this man.