Chapter 40 Brianna
Brianna
I thought you were a figment of his imagination
Today is axe throwing day, and fear holds my body captive, offering unrealistic demands.
My legs shake aggressively as I white knuckle the steering wheel.
Asher sits in the passenger seat, a comforting hand on my thigh, offering me the silence I didn’t know I needed.
Asher can read me like an open book, often assessing my needs before I even have time to process.
At first, it scared the fuck out of me. I’d find any flaw to hyper-fixate on.
The moment that seed was planted in my head, I firmly believed Asher saw it, too.
Avery called it my self-deprecating prophecy.
Now, having someone see me—all of me—and love every inch is exhilarating.
Despite our time slot being at seven and it’s only a fifteen minute drive away, we left at six.
When I asked if we could leave early, Asher agreed with a smile before planting a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.
I knew this was going to be hard for me, so I planned it out so I’d have enough time to prepare.
I’ve been sitting in my driveway for fifteen minutes, calming music blasting through the speakers. I focus on the slow inhale and exhale of my breath, imagining my heart slowing down with each outbreath.
You will be okay, Bri. Just because it happened once, doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. You have overcome a lot since the accident. You have Asher sitting next to you. You’re safe. Nothing bad will happen to you. You got this.
I press my foot on the brake before throwing the car in reverse.
I repeat the mantra I got this in my head all the way to our destination.
When I come across the intersection, Asher reaches for my hand, squeezing it like his life depends on it.
He squeezes my hand three times, and on some instinctive level, I know he’s telling me he loves me.
I flip my hand over, interlocking our fingers and repeating the gesture back to him.
Like Asher did that one night when the light turned green, I look both ways before sailing through the intersection. I hold onto my breath before I reach the other side where it comes out in a whoosh.
I did it!
I made it through without having a panic attack.
“Pull over,” Asher demands.
I quickly glance at him before returning my attention to the road. “What?”
“Pull over,” he repeats. I look behind me before turning my signal on and pulling off to the side. The moment I put the car in park, Asher is rounding the car and unbuckling my seat.
I’m having a hard time processing what’s happening when I find myself out of the car and pressed up against the cold metal door as Asher leans down to crash his mouth against mine.
His lips assault mine with enough force that I’m sure they’ll be permanently swollen.
His tongue demands entry into my mouth, tangling with mine in a possessive manner only Asher is capable of.
Cars are zooming by, but my head is spinning with the feel of his lips on mine.
Asher pulls back only to rest his forehead against mine.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Bri. You took that intersection and made it your bitch.
You did that. Not me. Not Avery. You. You did it, baby, and if we didn’t have anywhere to be, I’d take you in the back seat and eat you out.
But knowing my brother and his wife, they’re already in the parking lot waiting.
But seeing you conquer your fears like a boss?
Hot as fuck.” Asher’s face nuzzles my neck, his stubble tickling my sensitive skin.
Asher opens my door for me, and I climb back into the seat. Once he’s buckled in, we’re back on the road.
“Any questions on how to throw the axe?” Silas, our guide, asks. He’ll be hanging around us, making sure we’re following the rules and that no one gets hurt.
We all shake our heads, so Silas gives us the go ahead. Asher and Xander argue over who’s going first while Amber and I hang back and observe.
“You’re good for him, Bri.”
Amber is a beautiful, curvy woman with long, black hair and the most striking, green cat-like eyes I’ve ever seen.
I liked her from the moment I met her. She greeted me with a giant grin on her face and pulled me into a hug.
It appears the Larson men like their women curvy, because Amber is very similar to me in size.
She oozes confidence, and she has this ability to make anyone within her orbit feel comfortable.
“He’s good for me, too,” I reply, my tone laced with affection.
“I’m glad to finally meet you. I’m not gonna lie, for the longest time I thought you were a figment of his imagination.
He’d always talk about this Bri person, and Xander and I always went along with it.
He didn’t do your body justice, though. Girl, your curves are banging.
If I wasn’t so in love with my husband, I might make a pass at ya. ” Amber winks at me.
“I heard that,” Xander and Asher say at the same time.
“My curves? Girl, your ass is out of this world,” I reply, ignoring the guys’ comment.
“Damn right it is,” Xander says while smacking his wife’s ass before kissing her cheek.
Asher’s arms snake their way around my waist, and he kisses the sensitive spot underneath my neck. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”
“Me too. Did y’all figure out the order?”
The order goes as follows: Amber, Xander, me, and then Asher. Amber hits the bullseye every time, whereas I always miss by a mile. Silas tries to give me tips and tricks, but they’re completely useless. I suck. Xander is just as bad as I am, so we bond over our mutual suckiness.
Meanwhile, Asher hits the spot every time, tossing me knowing looks over his shoulder. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me, as my face turns a soft fuchsia and the pulse between my legs becomes almost unbearable.
The man is good at everything he does. The bastard. The hot, good with his…everything, kind, incredible bastard.
Asher and Amber are battling it out to see who can get the most bullseyes in a row while Xander and I sit at the table eating snacks.
“So, Asher told me you’re an architect. What got you into that line of work?” I ask in between chowing down on garlic fries.
“Well, I’m sure Asher told you I struggled with alcohol for years.
When I started to change my life for the better, my therapist suggested I find a hobby.
I didn’t know who I was outside of drinking, so it took a while to find what felt like me.
Then I started drawing, and for the first time in my life, my brain was quiet, and I felt at ease.
It started off with rough landscape sketches, and when I showed them to my therapist, she suggested I look into art professionally.
” Xander takes a moment to eat some fries and wash them down with some water before continuing.
“I spent hours scouring the internet before stumbling upon architecture. Something about designing something from scratch and watching it become real was thrilling to me. So, I went to school, and years later I opened my own firm where I met Amber. And for the first time in forever, things fell into place for me.”
“That’s amazing. I know Asher is extremely proud of you. It’s not easy rising from the ashes.”
An idea begins to circulate in my brain.
Asher and I haven’t done much planning in regard to our business idea.
A big part of it is because I haven’t felt ready to move forward yet.
Max and I created a binder with ideas for the store when I first proposed my idea to him.
Right now, that binder is collecting dust on the top shelf in my closet.
I haven’t even shown it to Asher yet. It feels like something I should look through with Max before I share it with him.
But with my brother being a carpenter and Xander being an architect, I wonder if the two can work together to make Booked ‘N’ Boozed come to life.
I turn in my seat to face Xander head-on before speaking. “I have a business proposal for you.”
“I’m all ears.” Xander listens as I share the plan Asher and I came up with. I let him know that while my brother is still healing, he can help with the construction of the business. While I talk, I can see the wheels turning in Xander’s head.
“I’m down.” Xander extends his hand out toward me while grinning like a maniac.
“But I haven’t even shown you my ideas yet.”
Xander shakes his head while shifting his gaze to his younger brother. “It doesn’t matter. If it makes Asher happy, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. He’s a good guy, Bri. But since you, he’s been the best version of himself. So, if you both want to do this, then I’m in.”
“You’ll do what?” Asher asks as he throws his arm over my shoulder.
“Xander agreed to help us with our business idea.”
“We’re still doing that? You haven’t brought it up in a minute, so I wasn’t sure if we were moving forward.”
“Babe, let's go get some pretzel bites and let them talk,” Amber says to Xander before dragging him behind her.
I turn back around and look into Asher’s questioning gaze.
“I want to do it. I, um, well, because it’s something I shared with Max, I wanted to go over the plan with him.
I didn’t tell you this, but we created this binder of ideas years ago.
I wanted to talk about it with him first before we followed through with anything.
I know it probably makes zero sense, but—” Asher stops me mid-sentence by tilting my chin up.
“I get it. This is something you’ve shared together, and you want him to feel included. I should confess that I already mentioned it to him, and he seems excited. So, you just let me know when you want to move forward with the plan, and I’ll be right beside you.”
“He wasn’t mad at me that I didn’t tell him about it?” I ask, my throat feeling like I swallowed sludge.
“Absolutely not, Bri. That man would never be mad at you. Is that why you’ve held off with the plans?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t want him to think that because we’re together that I’m replacing him in any way.”
“I can see that, but I can assure you he’s happy for you, for us. Talk to Max first, and if you still want to go through with the plan, then we’ll do it.”
“Okay. I think Max and Xander will do well together. Thank you for being so patient with me.” I rise up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips.
“Get a room, you two,” Xander teases while mock gagging.
“Fuck off,” Asher retorts while flipping him off.
Our time slot is coming to a close, and I’m beaming with pride.
I did it. I took charge of something my trauma tried to take away from me.
I’m still glowing as we say our goodbyes, and Amber and I make plans to have dinner with Avery.
I have a feeling those two are gonna hit it off.
“Hey, Asher, can you drive? I just want to relax.”
“Sure. You did good today.”
My eyes flutter closed, and I feel the corners of my mouth pulling into a soft smile. The car's vibration purrs beneath me and soft, soothing sounds from my go-to playlist bathe my body in serenity. I did it. I took something that nearly destroyed me and, in Asher’s words, made it my bitch.
The rough, almost sandpaper feel of a thumb rubbing soothing circles along my hand has a contented sigh slipping past my lips.
Asher.
He’s a huge reason I was able to do this today. True, I’ve rediscovered my strength, but without an anchor, I’d be lost at sea. His presence alone is a balm to my soul. He’s your favorite hoodie fresh out the dryer. He’s my everything.
I turn my hand so that our fingers interlock before bringing our joint hands to my lips and pressing a soft kiss against his wrist.
“Thank you for today.”
“Bear, you don’t have to thank me. I’d do anything for you, always.”
“I know, but it means a lot to me. You knew today would be hard given who I was supposed to do this with. Yet, you helped take a tainted memory and turn it into something beautiful.”
Everything around me halts, the words a reality slap in the face. I wasn’t tainted, but I felt broken, lost. Energy was wasted searching for pieces of me that were never missing. They were tucked away waiting to be set free. Waiting for the right person to set them ablaze.
Asher.
Somehow, my soul knew it was always meant to be him. He saw me—all of me—and cherished every inch like a precious gem.
“You’re worth going above and beyond for, Bri.”
Asher squeezes my hand a few times before I feel the softness of his lips linger at the pulse point on my wrist.
We spend the rest of the drive home, hands interlocked, silence blanketing us in what could only be described as the purest love that’s ever caressed my skin.
We’re pulling into my driveway, and just as I’m stepping out of the car, Asher tosses me over his shoulder, speed walking to the front door.
“Asher! What are you doing?”
“You did a hard thing today. I think that deserves a reward.”
He slaps my ass, which has me squealing and laughing all the way to the bedroom. All humor slips off my face as I see the intensity of his gaze locked on mine. Asher scans my body like a man starved.
“It’s time to play.”