Chapter 27
Avery
He’ll want to stay in an eat something else for dinner
What the fuck just happened? Never in my wildest dreams did I think our first kiss would happen like that.
In my fantasies, it was always sweet and slow with a tenderness to make a girl’s heart swoon.
What happened was a toe-curling, fire-burning, passionate kiss that rocked my world. And I’m still fucking turned on.
The craziest part about it all was that I was the one to go there.
Cas was giving me the kiss of my dreams. The second he pulled back, the thin string of restraint snapped in half before turning feral.
My mouth attacked his and my body devoured every second of it.
I do as I’m told and stand in front of my mirror and own every single part of me.
My face is flushed and my body hums with so much excess energy I could power an entire village.
“Girl, are you okay?” Bri’s sudden presence has me jolting back from the mirror as if I got caught doing something naughty. I nod my head as words have failed me. Brianna smirks at me and gives me her bullshit face. I try to turn away from her, but she stops me.
“Holy shit. Oh my God! You fucking did it, didn’t you?” she screams at me.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” My hands are suddenly buzzing with energy, so I focus on making myself busy. Brianna’s gaze shifts towards the rumpled mess that used to be my bed and points at it.
“Bullshit, I know for a fact that once your head hits the pillow, you’re out like a light.
Don’t even get me started on your face, girl, because, well, have you seen yourself?
” I walk over to my floor-length mirror and gasp at the reflection staring back at me.
My eyes are black with desire, with the slightest ring of green around the edges.
My face is flushed and I can see redness where Cas squeezed my neck earlier.
Most importantly, I look blissfully happy. Even though we didn’t do anything, I looked like I just had sex. Bri wasn’t done talking because she grabbed my shoulders so I could face her again.
“See what I mean? Also, I saw Cas leave your house right as I was pulling in, and he had this wicked expression on his face. So start talking.” She sits on the bed, which forces me to stop and sigh.
“I hate you, Bri. Ugh, fine! Okay, something did happen, but not what you assume happened. We just kissed. That's all.”
“Okay, first of all, you love me, and you know it. Second, I call bullshit.”
“Brianna, I promise you that was all we did,” I reassure her.
I contemplate telling her everything that happened this morning.
I can still feel the heat where Cas’ hand squeezed my neck, sending a throbbing pulse between my legs.
Damn, I never thought I’d like that kind of thing.
The sound of Bri clearing her throat snaps me out of reliving that moment and potentially embarrassing myself.
“Earth to Avery. Where did you go and why are you doing that thing to your neck?” She looks at me as if a toddler decided to do my makeup.
“My neck?” My face scrunches in confusion.
“Yeah you’re squeezing it and your face went all dreamy-eyed.
” I finally cave and tell her everything.
Brianna is never one to be stunned speechless, but right now, she is making a solid impression of a fish.
I have to wave my hand in front of her face a few times while calling her name before she comes back to me.
“I’m sorry. I think I just stroked out. You attacked Cas this morning by straddling him and going for his mouth like your life depended on it. Then he slammed you against the door, gave you a hand necklace, and you rubbed his dick. Who are you and what have you done to my Avery?”
“I-wait. A hand necklace?” I chuckle.
“Yeah. It’s when the MMC puts your hand on your neck and squeezes you in a sexual way. A hand necklace,” she repeats.
“MMC? Girl, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“MMC. The main male character. Girl you need to read my smutty books,” Bri says while rolling her eyes.
“Oh right, MMC. Of course, how could I forget,” I say sarcastically.
“Whatever, now stop changing the subject. What happened?”
“Girl, I don't know what came over me. One second it was all sweet and tender, then I just attacked him. The craziest part of that experience was that I liked it, especially that hand necklace thing. Everything escalated so quickly and it was exhilarating. I’ve never been so turned on. Want to know what he said to me before he left?” Her nod gives me the courage to continue.
“I told him that I didn't ask for him to be soft. He said, and I quote, ‘Baby, I never said anything about being gentle or soft with you.’ Then told me to be ready by six and left.”
“Holy shit, Ave, that is some kinky ass shit, man. I am feeling a little revved myself. I may have to…wait, are you going out again tonight? You just went on a date yesterday, and you are going out again so soon? Damn, he must want you badly.”
As much as I want to tell Bri that we never went out yesterday, it’s not my story to tell, so I just nod my head. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I am pretty damn irresistible.”
“Hell yeah, you are. Now, let's figure out what you’re going to wear tonight and make sure you look sexy as hell. I assume Cas didn’t give us much to work off of again?” With my nod, she continues.
“Men. I swear, they never give us enough information.” She makes her way over to my closet and my thoughts travel to the conversation with Cas last night.
I will not let his father ruin this moment, so I shove those thoughts into a drawer and lock it up.
I readjust my focus on Bri tearing through my closet.
Even with her back towards me, I know she found something.
I can sense her Bri is a genius face before she turns around.
“Bow down to the clothing goddess,” Bri says while showing me what she picked. In her hand is a sexy, black, floor-length, one-shoulder dress with a slit that stops mid-thigh. Her other hand holds another pair of death trap heels in bright red.
“I think you do the same hair as last time, but this time do like a daring red lip and shimmery gold eyeshadow with a cat eye and some lashes. You will look stunning. So stunning that he will—"
“Want to stay in and eat something else for dinner,” I finish for her with another roll of my eyes. Just imagining him do those things to me freaked me out, but now it doesn't sound as crazy as it did the first time.
“See? You’re learning. Now, to get you in the mood, I think you need to ask for a dick pic. It's always helpful to have a visual aid when you want to get your engine revved for later,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Brianna Mae, I am not asking for a dick pic. Besides, you only want me to ask for one so you can see it yourself.” I laugh.
“Guilty. I mean, Ave, Cas is hot, like really fucking hot. Can you blame a girl for trying? I just need to see what you’re working with to make sure you are getting your needs met. But whatever, be a selfish bitch then,” she says as she hands me my outfit.
“I love you, too, Bri,” I say while hugging her.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, love you, too, I guess. I’m leaving now. Try not to get too in your head. I will call you later because I’ll need details on how it all went,” she says, walking towards the door.
“I wrote him a song!” I blurt out. Her hand remains on my bedroom door knob for a minute before she turns around and stares at me.
“Can you repeat that? I must have hallucinated because it sounded like you said you wrote a song,” she says, looking shocked.
“You heard correctly.” My heart flutters in my throat and my skin feels hot. Bri continues to stare at me with a shocked expression.
“Bri say something, please, because this frozen expression is making me antsy.”
“I—wow that’s amazing. I mean, shit, Ave, I know that writing is a tricky subject for you. When was the last time you wrote anything?” Her question shouldn’t surprise me. It’s a valid question and yet it still shocks me.
“Remember when the three of us hung out during our sophomore year?” I ask.
“Yeah—and remind me to let Cas know that threat still applies. But what does…” She pauses when recognition finally hits her face.
“Wait, you mean to tell me that you haven’t written anything since then?
” I nod and swallow the emotion down, not wanting to cry.
That time in my life was difficult for me.
Finally having my friend back only to have him taken away by his own demons sucked.
I’m grateful that with years of therapy I’ve learned to accept that the past happened and it doesn’t have to impact the present.
“I mean wow, Ave, that’s a long time to go without writing.
But I am so proud of you for writing again.
From everything you’ve told me, it sounds like Cas was your muse or something.
” She chuckles. I snap my eyes to hers so intensely that her laughter stops abruptly. “Holy shit, you’re serious?” she asks.
“I-uh, I think so?” I shrug.
“Wow, that's just. Wow. And now that Cas is back—"
“I’m writing again. It just makes sense, you know? Him being my muse.” My voice comes out shaky.
“Well, regardless of the reason, I'm glad you are writing again. Can I—can I read it?” she asks hopefully. I want nothing more for her to read it, but a part of me hesitates because it’s raw and emotional.
Yes, it’s based on the conversation Cas and I had, but the lyrics don't give anything away. I’m still silently contemplating whether or not to share or not when she interrupts my thoughts.
“You don't have to share if you don't want to, Ave. I’ll understand if you want to keep it to yourself, but if you do want to, I would love to listen,” she gently says.
“It's not that I don't want you to listen. I do. It's just if you do listen, you have to promise me not to ask what it's about. You just have to read it and be okay with not asking any questions,” I say, slightly scared of her reaction.
“Okay,” she says matter-of-factly. I hesitate momentarily before walking past her to grab the journal.
I pause outside of my bedroom and take a deep breath before entering and handing it over to her.
She begins to read and my leg shakes with anxiety.
Bri huffs out a sigh and stops reading to look at me.
“Avery, I’m going to need you to sit on the floor.
I can’t read this with your legs causing an earthquake,” she says, returning her attention to the journal.
I sit on the floor in front of my bed, feeling like I’m at the far end of the line waiting to get inside my favorite amusement park.
She puts her hand on my shoulder, indicating that she wants to talk.
When my eyes meet hers, I find tears there.
My face pales like a character in a suspense movie, waiting for something terrible to happen.
“This is incredibly beautiful, Avery. You feel every single emotion with your words, and it's just, it's breathtaking and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing it with me. Please tell me you shared this with him or that you will. And please, please, please tell me you are entering this song into the contest?”
“I haven't shared it with him yet. I was just waiting for the right moment. And I’m nervous he won't like it. As for the contest, I’m, uh…well, I’m considering it. You think I could win with this song?” I ask.
“Avery, that man adores you. Of course, he's going to love it,” she replies. “As for winning, Avery, this is Grammy-level shit. I think you need to enter it.” Bri and I made casual conversation before she stood from the bed and said, “Anyways, enough emotional talk. You have a date to get ready for. I’ll be by my phone eagerly awaiting a play-by-play.” She gives me a playful wink before walking towards the door.
My eyes flicker over to the bed where the dress and shoes lay.
This is it, my first date with Cas. I mean, you think that after everything that happened this morning, I wouldn't be nervous.
My body is trapped in barbed wire and the spikes are my anxious feelings, poking into me.
I look at the clock on the end table closest to my bedroom door and it reads 11:00 a.m.—seven more hours until he comes to get me.
I have no idea how to pass the time, so I reach for my phone and text him.
Me: Hey
Cas: Hi, yourself. I can’t wait for tonight.
Me: Me too. Is it weird that I’m nervous? I mean, after this morning, I feel like I shouldn't be, but I am.
Cas: I’m just as nervous, maybe even more so now.
Me: Now?
Cas: Yeah. This morning was, well, hot as fuck. I just feel like I built up this expectation in your head of what it will be like and I won’t measure up.
Me: I feel the same way. But after how we connected this morning, I don't think that will happen. Let's promise each other now that we'll be honest if things get weird or either of us doesn't feel it.
Cas: Deal. But Avery?
Me: Yeah?
Cas: Now that I have tasted your lips, I need to taste every part of you.
Woah, this conversation escalated quickly.
This seems to be the theme of our friendship.
Relationship? Situationship? His words play on repeat in my brain, causing the heat to pool between my legs.
Those words continue to float around in my brain, so I reach for my vibrator, hoping to release some of this tension.