Chapter 34
Cassidy
What will I find if I keep unbuttoning?
Avery gets lost inside herself whenever she sings.
My mind is a crowded mall and my thoughts are the people trying to make their way to the exit.
But I push them aside to listen to her angelic voice.
Avery has always been super talented when it comes to her writing.
Her raw vulnerability does something to me, making me feel all fuzzy in my chest. I remember hearing her sing for the first time when we were teens and I was in awe of her then.
It’s been way too long since I’ve listened to her, though.
I push my shame away and let admiration wash over my body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
When she told me the song's title, it sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite explain why. As the song progresses, it’s obvious who she’s singing about.
Avery has always allowed her music to speak for her.
She has the perfect song for every emotion she’s feeling.
To hear her sing about me is a whole new experience.
I didn’t think I could love this woman anymore, but here we are.
I feel the cracks and bruises from years of emotional trauma begin to heal.
I’m so lost in what she’s doing to me, that I didn’t even realize she stopped singing.
“Cas?” she asks hesitantly. Something in my gaze must have alarmed her because her arms were suddenly around me.
“Cas, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to see what I see when I look at you. I didn’t even thi—" I stop her by covering her mouth with mine. I can’t convey my thoughts and feelings into words yet, so I pour them into the kiss instead.
She has to know that what she just did for me is far from upsetting.
I reluctantly pull away from her lips only to bring my hands up to either side of her face, taking a moment to stare into her eyes.
She reaches up and brushes a thumb across my cheek, and when I look down, I realize it’s wet.
I brush my fingers across my cheek, surprised to find them damp.
No wonder she thought I was upset. I begin to clarify that they’re tears of joy, but her mouth crashes into mine, stopping me.
Avery’s kiss is hungrier than mine, and it takes all my restraint to pull away.
“Avery, I want this moment just as much as you, but I want—no, I need—to go slow.”
I chuckle as Avery lets out a frustrated whimper.
She’s insatiable, but I don’t want to fuck her right here on the piano.
I can feel my willpower slipping, so I stand up grab Avery by the waist and throw her over my shoulder.
Avery’s laughter turns into a moan when I smack her ass.
She returns the favor by grabbing my ass and the small ounce of willpower I had moments ago is almost completely gone.
I bolt up the stairs and by the time I reach Avery’s bedroom, I’m simultaneously out of breath and turned on.
I gently toss Avery on her bed, watching her bounce a few times before she settles in.
Fuck. This woman is breathtaking and she’s all mine.
I lean down to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear and just admire her beauty.
She tries pulling me down on top of her, but I shake my head and stare at her.
“Avery, you’re so damn beautiful. You’re my safety net, and I feel seen when I stare into your sparkling green eyes. You see through all the walls I put up and through all my bullshit. You see me. You make me feel like I deserve to be loved and, more importantly, to be loved by you.”
“Cas—" she starts to speak, but I shake my head, leaning down to press soft kisses across her face.
I start at her forehead, then make my way to each eye, kissing them closed.
I move my mouth to her right temple, then her left, my lips never leaving her skin.
I kiss the tip of her nose, then both corners of her mouth, before capturing her in a gentle kiss.
I coax her mouth open, allowing our tongues to tangle together.
Our tongues dance together in smooth, graceful strokes before impatience takes over and it turns to frantic and desperate.
Her hands move quickly towards the bottom of my shirt, trying to take it off, but I bring her arms back down to her sides, cuffing her wrists with my hands.
I pull my mouth from hers, only to trace her lips with my tongue, stopping in the middle of her mouth to tug her lip gently with my teeth.
The whimper that escapes her sends my body pulsing with heat.
I remind myself to take it slow, no matter how badly I want to devour her.
One of my hands goes to her neck, her eyes rolling back in response as she remembers the last time.
She looks up at me, pure desire sparkling in her eyes.
Instead of squeezing, I caress her neck, moving my hand to one side of her throat while my mouth finds the other side.
I gently tug at her ear with my teeth before moving down to the sensitive spot underneath. I know this spot gets to her because her back arches toward me and she groans. I whisper, “I love it when you make that sound. It makes me want to fuck you fast and hard.”
Avery looks at me with a wicked gleam, she says, “That's how I like it.”
I groan in agony. She’s killing me right now.
“I promised to be gentle, and that’s what you’ll get.
” I press a lingering kiss to her mouth while slowly unbuttoning her dress.
“You have to know what you do to me when you wear dresses like this. So soft, free, and beautiful—just like you,” I murmur.
I continue undressing her, but freeze when I get to her chest and see nothing underneath the fabric.
I growl and look back up at her face. “You’re trying to kill me, aren't you? If I keep unbuttoning, will I continue to find you naked underneath?” My mouth goes bone dry and my face starts to flush.
Licking her lips, she brings my head to hers, and when I think she's going to take my mouth, she moves to the side and tugs on my ear with her teeth, whispering, “Keep going and you’ll find out soon enough.” She’s going to be the death of me, but at least I’ll die a happy man.
I soon find the answer to my question as I take in her creamy skin dusted with freckles.
The curve of her breasts makes me feel like a man dying of thirst, and she’s the only one who can quench it.
I slide the dress off her shoulders, pressing short, open-mouthed kisses along her neck, shoulders, and collarbone.
I make my way down to her breasts, playing with one while I take the other in my mouth.
She instinctively wriggles beneath me, placing her hands on my head and securing me there.
Her moans increase as I flick my tongue against her nipple while thumbing the other with my hand.
I tug gently with my teeth and her breathing increases.
“Cas, you’re driving me crazy. I need you now,” she huffs while her hand starts to journey towards my cock. I stop her before she gets there.
“Baby, if you do that right now, this won’t last much longer.
Patience, '' I say, chuckling at her as she lets out a frustrated sigh.
My hands move down to her stomach and I kiss every inch of her before I find myself at her inner thighs.
My teeth graze against her soft flesh, causing her to tremble uncontrollably.
I place my fingers in between her legs, teasing her inner folds. Her nails dig into my skin.
My eyes lock with hers and a smirk forms on my face before I push one finger inside her.
The feeling of how wet and slick she is makes my head spin as fast as a cotton candy machine, and a groan escapes my lips.
Her hand moves in an attempt to keep me inside of her, but I’m too quick.
When I pull my finger out, Avery fixes me with a murderous glare.
It’s adorable. I can’t help the laugh that comes out.
“Oh, is this what you want?” I ask, wiggling the finger that was just inside of her. I bring that finger to my mouth and slip it inside. “Mmmm. Damn, Avery, do you know what you taste like?”
“Hmmm?” she asks.
I glide down her body to whisper in her ear, “You taste like mine.” My whisper comes out as more of a growl before I place myself between my personal altar.
My finger begins to rub her clit in a slow, circular motion.
My pace alternates between quick and slow strokes—just enough to drive her to the edge, then bring her back down again, keeping her orgasm at bay.
“Fuck, aaah faster, please. I can’t take it anymore.
Yes, right there, don’t—oh God,” she screams. So I give her what she wants, but this time I push a second finger inside of her, and she goes wild beneath me.
She screams my name repeatedly and I feel her on the verge of an orgasm.
I pull my fingers out before striping the rest of my clothes off.
“I need you now, and don't give me any more of this slow bullshit.
I need it fast and hard because I feel like I am about to—" That's all she manages to say before I slam my dick into her, giving her exactly what she's asking.
I change the angle by bringing one of her legs over my shoulder so I can go deeper, causing her screams to intensify.
“This is what you get for writing that damn song. For always seeing me. For being mine. Is this what you want? Me to fuck you this hard? You like it dirty, don’t you, baby?”
“Y-yes. Please, just keep going.” She shifts just slightly, allowing me to hit that sweet spot.
“That's it, Avery. Take this dick like a good girl.” She begins to scratch and claw at my back, which makes me pound into her even harder. “That’s right, claw at me. Make me yours. Brand me with your marks. Just like I’m branding this pretty pussy of yours.
Be a good girl and come for me. Come on this dick, freckles,” I grunt.
Her hips move to match my thrusts. I know she’s close, so I bring one of my fingers back to her clit to help her get there quicker.
It doesn't take long before she starts contracting around me and she finally lets herself come.
I keep up the quick, rapid pumps, knowing that I am close to coming, too.
I spread her other leg wider so I have more room.
I feel myself on the brink of an orgasm when another one pulses through her more intensely than the last. “Fuck, Cas!” she yells, and then I come on that final scream of my name.
“That’s right, baby. Scream my name. I want everyone to know who owns this pussy. Who owns this pussy?”
“Ca—oh my God!” she screams. I slap her pussy which causes her to scream out and arch her back.
“Wrong answer. Who owns this pussy? Say it,” I growl.
“You do, Cas. You own my pussy. You own all of me. Now shut up and fuck me,” she snarls.
“Your wish is my command,” I whisper. I continue to pound into her, giving her exactly what she asked for.
She swirls her hips and her pussy keeps contracting around me.
And when my orgasm hits, I come so hard I see stars.
I slow my pace down significantly as both of us start to come down.
I collapse on top of her, still fully seated inside of her as we steady our rapid breathing.
I grudgingly pull myself out before going to grab a towel to clean her up.
After tossing the freshly used towel in the laundry basket, I crawl under the covers and pull her into my arms. Her head rests on my chest as my fingers run up and down her back.
I feel content lying in silence with her next to me.
My eyes start to close when her words break through the silence.
“You know, Cas, you never did tell me your thoughts on my song. You had tears in your eyes. I hope I didn't upset you,” she says, looking at me with concern clouding her eyes.
How could she think this would upset me?
Her words moved something in me, making me feel a different kind of nakedness.
I gently kiss her forehead and look down at her beautiful face.
“Avery, honey, I'm not sad. Your song made me feel seen, loved. You made me feel like I wasn’t the drug addict, the burnout, or the loser. Your words made me feel like you saw Cas, the man.”
She reaches up to cup my cheek and I see tears start to form in her eyes.
“Cas, I have always seen you. Even when you were struggling, I always knew that the Cas I grew up with was in there. You’re not your addiction, your trauma, or your mental health.
You are a man who struggles with those things.
You have so much kindness, passion, and drive.
But most importantly, you’re healing and that’s beautiful.
I see you putting in that work, and I am so fucking proud of you for doing it.
Healing is not for the faint of heart, and you have one of the strongest, purest hearts I know.
” She pulls me down for a slow, lingering kiss before letting me go.
“Remember that summer before our freshman year when I walked in on you singing one of your songs?” I ask. Recognition takes over her face as she nods, but looks away.
“Avery,” I say, pulling her face back to mine.
“Hmmm?” she asks.
“After I left your house that day, I turned back to look at your bedroom window and something shifted. That was the moment I knew I was in love with you.” I hear the sharp intake of her breath and see her eyes widen.
I preemptively open my mouth to fix what needs fixing, but she touches my lips and shakes her head.
“Y-you did?” she asks. When I nod my head, she continues. “You remember when you gave me that journal?”
“Of course, I remember,” I say.
“That was the moment that I fell in love with you.” No matter how many times she says that it still surprises me. She loves me.
“High school must have been rough, seeing me become so self-destructive. If it makes it any better, I was just as miserable back then. I was so in love with you, but I knew you probably didn’t return my feelings because of who I came from and what I was doing to myself.”
“Yeah, it wasn't easy. I remember going to bed every night, hoping you would snap out of it.
I know now that it's more difficult than that, and you had demons you didn't realize you were fighting. I’m not angry or upset with you anymore about any of that, and you are deserving of me,” she says while pushing some of my hair out of my face.
“Of course, we spent all this time secretly in love with the other…jackass,” she says while laughing.
“Oh, I’m a jackass, huh? Let's see how much of a jackass I am when I do this,” I say and bring my hands to her hips, swinging her legs over my shoulders. I give her one of my wicked grins before I wink and slip my tongue inside her.