Chapter 45
Cassidy
I want to be your somebody
After being in the hospital for about a week, I’m finally getting released. I look over at the pullout couch and Avery who’s curled up in a ball. She hasn't left my side in the last four days. After everything that’s happened, she's still here and wants to be with me.
I can live a sober life and still feel fulfilled. I know that Avery chooses me because she wants to, not because she feels pity. I deserve to be loved. My feelings of not being good enough come up occasionally, but I’m getting better at managing it.
Avery, though, she's it for me. I see her begin to stir and my heart just melts. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I say.
Her eyes rapidly blink, adjusting to the light before focusing on me. “Good morning,” she mumbles.
“Come here, baby,” I say. She makes her way over to me and curls herself into my embrace. She feels right here. I promise never to take her for granted again. I place a kiss atop her head and she nuzzles herself into the crook of my neck.
“You get to come home today,” she says, still groggy from sleep.
“I get to come home today,” I repeat, rubbing my hands up and down her arm. She lets out a sleepy hum while her hands lazily trace the outline of the tattoo on my hand. I wonder if she’ll notice.
“Cas…what is this?”
She noticed.
“It’s a date,” I casually say.
“I know it’s a date, but what date is it?”
At the time, I was confident she would love it, but now that she’s looking at it, I can’t help but overthink that it wasn’t a good idea.
“Cas?” she asks again.
“It’s, um. Well, it’s the date when you finally became mine. I just got it recently. It felt like a good idea at the time, but if you don't lik—" Avery gently squeezes my hand, causing me to look into her face.
“How have I not noticed until now? Whatever, Cas, that’s one of the sweetest things you’ve done for me. And that’s saying a lot, because you’ve already done so much. I love it, and I love you.” She places a quick kiss on my lips. She pulls back with a contemplative expression on her face.
“Are you…” She pauses.
“Am I what?” I prompt her.
“When you go home today, are you going back to your grandparents’ house?” she asks, all flustered. Fuck, she’s beautiful when she’s flustered.
“Well, I didn't think about it. I just assumed I’d go back to their house to recover. Why?” I ask behind a hint of a smile.
“Oh, good. That's good,” she says halfheartedly.
“Avery, out with it,” I respond.
“I was just hoping that maybe you could come home with me, and I could help you,” she says while looking down.
I take her chin in my hand so that she has no choice but to look in my eyes. “I thought you'd never ask. Yes, my answer is yes. I’d love to come home with you,” I say, kissing her lips.
“Then maybe you can stay with me even after you heal?” she asks.
“Why, Miss Avery, are you asking me to move in with you?” I ask.
She looks up at me under her lashes, her eyes shining with vulnerability. “Only if you want to. I mean, I want you to. I like having you there, but if it makes you uncomfortable or you need space on your own to heal, I—"
“Avery,” I say, waiting for her to turn in my direction.
When she does, I continue, “I don’t want space.
I want to wake up next to you every morning and be the first person I see.
I said it before, and I’ll say it again.
I want to be your somebody, just like you’re mine.
So yes, I’d love to move in with you. Honestly, I was planning to slowly move my things in there, anyways, and hope that when you noticed, you wouldn't do anything about it.”
She chuckles while playfully punching my shoulder. “You’re such a jackass,” she says, then rests her hands on my cheeks. “But you’re my jackass,” she says, trying to kiss me, but I stop her.
“Hey, I want to t—" I say, but she interrupts me.
“I have something to tell you!” she shouts, her face radiating excitement. Whatever I have to say can wait.
“Okay, what is it, freckles?”
“Remember that songwriting competition I told you about?” I nod my head in response, and she continues. “Well, I uh, um, I entered that song I wrote for you, and it sort of, kind of. Won.” Bashful Avery is a personal favorite of mine. The way she scrunches her nose and her face gets flushed.
“Avery, I’m so damn proud of you and honored you chose that song. I knew you would kick ass in that competition.” I grab hold of her face, peppering soft, quick kisses all over her while she giggles.
She playfully pushes me away so she can continue speaking.
“Cas, wait, there’s more. Not only am I being signed to a record label, but I won $100,000 in prize money.
I’ve been figuring out what to do with the money and then I found the perfect idea.
I want to create a program through my shelter to help trauma victims afford emotional support animals.
I was hoping maybe it could be something we do together.
I know you have a lot on your plate with healing and all, but—" My lips are on hers, silencing any doubt she might have had. Sometimes, you don’t need words to convey how you feel.
I break our kiss, but keep my thumbs where they are. “Yes. I think that’s a fantastic idea. It actually kind of goes hand in hand with what my plans are for my life. Remember when I talked to you about possibly wanting to help people with addictions?”
She nods her head, and so I continue. “Well, I want to be an addictions counselor specializing in trauma. My therapist has been wonderful and has helped me process this mess. I know I can help others as well. Eventually, we can work on your idea together.”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes, but she shakes her head as if she knew what I would say. “Cas, I think it’s a fantastic idea. I’m so proud of you for finding what you want to do with your life. You are going to make a difference in this world, and I can't wait to see it happen.”
“Thank you for always believing in me, especially when I didn't believe in myself. You have given me so much of myself back. If it wasn't for your endless love and support, I'm not sure where I'd be.”
She touches my face. “Cas, you did this on your own. It's because of you that you are the man you are today,” she says before bringing my mouth down to hers and kissing me. We would have continued to explore each other’s mouths if my doctor hadn't interrupted us.
“I see someone is feeling good today,” the doctor says. “Even though you get discharged today, Cas, remember you can't do anything physical for a couple of weeks while you heal,” she says while looking at me with a smug expression.
Before I can speak, my grandparents enter the room. “Cas can't keep his hands to himself, huh?” my gram says while wiggling her eyebrows. The doctor nods her head, making my gram let out a short, but loud cackle.
“Typical! It's a good thing you came in when you did, Doc, because who knows what would have happened,” my grandma says while sending a wink my way.
“We certainly can control ourselves. Don't need to give the doctor more reasons to keep me here,” I say, shaking my head while Avery's face turns bright red before burying it in my chest.
“Well, everything’s looking good. You’re healing up nicely, but recovery will be painful and slow, so don't overdo it. I provided your grandparents with resources for physical and mental health therapists. The physical therapist is a must, but the mental health therapist is optional. If I were you, I’d reach out to them because you might need help processing everything,” she says as she walks towards the door.
She stops in the doorway and turns back around.
“Your discharge paperwork is on its way, and Cas? I am glad you pulled through. It looks like you have a lot of people who love you. Take care of yourself,” she says before walking out.
The next hour or so is spent signing paperwork and finalizing testing to confirm I am ready. I told my grandparents of my plan to go to Avery’s to heal and couldn't help but laugh at their response.
“It's about damn time,” they said in unison.
“We can start moving your stuff over today and the rest of this weekend. I’m so glad you’re still with us, Cas. We don't know what we would have done if we lost you,” my grandpa said while choking back tears. He rarely cries, so when he does, I can't help but cry alongside him.
“I love you both so much,” I say before they both envelop me in a group hug.
“Well, we’ll let you two be and start moving everything over. Avery, is your spare key still where it normally is?” my grandma asks her, and she nods. “Perfect, we’ll see you both later.”
“So, ready to get out of here and go home?” Avery asks.
“I’ve never been more ready than anything! I finally got a wish I’ve always wanted.”
“Oh yeah? What wish is that?” she asks.
“That I finally get to call you my home.” I lean down, conveying all my feelings with my kiss.
“I love you, Avery,” I say the second we part.
“I love you, too, Cas. Now let's go home.”