Chapter 3
After doing some busy work to avoid going right back to the man, she decided to take a chance. She assured herself it was her job to check on people in the library. It wasn”t being desperate. Taking a deep breath, she walked back to the corner where James was engrossed in the pages of the binder. She noticed how intently he was studying it, with a pen in one hand jotting down notes.
“You”re really into this stuff, aren”t you?” Clara leaned against the table, watching him.
He looked up from the binder and flashed that easy smile again. “Always have been. I find history fascinating.”
“Do you work in the history field? Are you a historian or something?”
James laughed softly. “No, nothing like that. I”m just curious about the past. I”ve visited Watch Hill a couple of times before. The place intrigued me.”
“Well, I will leave you to it,” she smiled, taking note of the fact there wasn”t a ring on his finger. No tan line either. “If you need anything, I”ll be up front.”
“Thank you, Clara.”
She walked away feeling a mix of emotions. On the one hand, she was relieved to return to the comfort of her desk, but on the other, she found herself slightly disappointed that their conversation had ended. As she tidied up the desk, Clara found herself glancing back in James” direction more often than she cared to admit. Each time she did, she found him engrossed in his research, pen still moving across his notepad. He”d put on wire-rimmed glasses, giving him a very dignified look. For a brief moment, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to have a man like him attracted to her. When her husband left her, it destroyed her self-confidence. She felt too fat, too old, and too wrinkled. She had gone through a period of self-loathing, unwilling to even shower or go through the hassle of eating.
The period of depression had led to some weight loss. Allison was there to pick her up. Part of the process of getting back on her feet included a weekend trip to a spa. They had both indulged in massages, facials, mud baths, and the whole works. She returned from the trip refreshed and with a newfound sense of self-appreciation. It was a lesson she kept with her even a year later. It was Allison”s voice she heard in her head when her insecurities began to creep up again. “You are beautiful, Clara. You are strong. You radiate warmth and kindness, and any man would be lucky to have you.”
They had gone shopping, updating Clara”s wardrobe to accommodate her smaller frame with more fashionable clothes. Clara looked down at her outfit. Thankfully, it was one of the better combinations. She self-consciously smoothed her shirt and hoped her butt wasn”t dirty after sitting on the floor in the back room.
With that thought still ringing in her ears, she cast one more glance toward James who had now lifted his gaze and was looking right back at her. He gave her an encouraging smile and slightly jerked his head, indicating he wanted her to come back over.
Once again, nerves coiled in her belly. She made her way back to his table, hoping she looked graceful and beautiful. “Did you need something?”
“I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee. I”d love to pick your brain a little more.”
Clara”s heart raced at the invite. Flattered and terrified in equal measure, she hesitated. Her instinct was to decline, to retreat into the comfort of her routine. Her heart raced and she was suddenly feeling very warm. In the back of her mind, she heard a little voice shouting retreat. That same evil little voice that told her she was ugly and not good enough and that”s why her ex left.
But then she remembered – this was a new chapter in her life, a chance to step out of her well-worn comfort zone. The voice disappeared and a surge of confidence rushed in.
“Sure, why not?” Clara replied, surprising herself with the spontaneity of her answer.
“Can you go now?”
Panic threatened to rear up, but she quickly shut it down. “I”m scheduled to take a break at one, does that work?”
His bright smile nearly had her hyperventilating. “Perfect, I can”t wait.”
As the clock’s hand inched towards one, Clara felt a myriad of emotions. Anxiety was front and center. She had to remind herself it was just coffee. It wasn”t a date. That milestone had yet to be achieved since her divorce. Just thinking about dating gave her heart palpitations. It was terrifying to think about opening up and being vulnerable again.
Kara, the part-time assistant who took Clara”s old job, came in with a bright smile. Clara quickly caught up on the disaster in the back room before she went back to the table where James was surrounded by a stack of books. He looked like a man cramming for the boards.
“I”m going on my break,” she said quietly. “If you”re busy, don”t feel like you need to stop.”
“No. I need coffee. Can I leave this here? Do I need to put it back?”
“You”re coming back?” she asked with surprise.
“Is that okay?”
“Of course.” She nearly broke out into a dance knowing he was going to be hanging around a little longer.
He took off his glasses and slipped them into a soft case before getting to his feet. She took a moment to admire his tall form. He appeared to be in good shape like he spent a lot of time outdoors.
“Ready?” he asked.
“I am.”
They left the library as the quaint bell above the door announced their exit. The coffee shop nearby was a cozy place that served coffee and gossip. They settled at a table with their chosen coffee selections. Clara didn”t miss the looks of the usual customers. They wanted to know who she was with. She appreciated the curious looks. Finally, the gossip about her would shift from poor Clara to who is Clara dating.
As they sipped their coffee, Clara decided to be bold or even bolder. Bold was probably a little overstated for her.
“So, what brings you to our little town?” Clara asked, stirring her coffee.
James leaned back, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I”m just a naturally curious person. There”s something charming about small towns, don”t you think? The stories and the history speak to me in a way big cities can”t.”
Clara nodded, her eyes reflecting understanding. “I feel the same. There”s a simplicity and authenticity to small towns that you can”t find anywhere else.”
“And gossip,” she added with a small smile.
“The gossip is the best part,” he replied.
“Where are you from?”
“Upstate New York from a small town no one has heard of.”
“Ah,” she nodded. “I understand why you understand small towns so well.”
“How long have you worked at the library?”
“A little over ten years. I used to volunteer, then I got a paid part-time position and recently, it moved into full-time.”
She wasn”t ready to tell him that her divorce thrust her into the working world.
“You must like it,” he surmised.
“I love it. I”m a book nerd.”
“Me too,” he said.
“What do you do?” Clara asked, forcing herself to step out of her comfort zone. This was the easy part. If she couldn”t get through this part of the process of getting to know someone, she was never going to make it through the dating thing.
“I”m in I.T.,” he said with a grimace. “Not exactly exciting. I”m a computer geek.”
“Not a geek at all,” she laughed.
“I work for myself and can work from anywhere. It”s not exciting, but it affords me a pretty carefree lifestyle. Which means, I can travel when I want… Like coming here.”
“How long are you in town for?”
“About a week or so,” he shrugged.
“Must be nice to be footloose and fancy-free.”
“It is. Clara, I know I”m probably being very forward, but I would love to take you to dinner?”
Clara”s heart skipped a beat. The idea of dinner with James sent a thrill through her. It was a big step for her, a woman who had spent most of her life within the comforting walls of familiarity. Yet, she felt a surge of courage.
“I”d love that,” she replied, a genuine smile playing on her lips. “Dinner sounds wonderful.”
“You can fill me in on more town gossip and maybe even tell me about you.”
“I”m afraid you”ll be far more entertained by the town gossip than my boring life.”
“I don”t think that at all,” he replied. “But we”ll see,” James added, winking at her playfully, setting her cheeks aglow with a soft blush.
The rest of their coffee break was spent discussing books, the weather, and the intricacies of small-town living. James had a calming presence that made her feel comfortable in his company, a quality she hadn”t experienced in a long time. She found herself surprised at how much they had in common.
Before they knew it, thirty minutes had passed. They made their way back to the library. Clara left James to do his research even though she would have loved to hover. She liked being around him. She really liked it when he looked at her and made her feel pretty. It had been too long since she felt worthy of a man”s attention.