Chapter 6
brOOKE
It has been a week and a half since Bear followed me home on his bike.
Ever since that day, he has been pestering me about hanging out, and I’ve refused every time.
I don’t feel comfortable around him. He is way bigger than me and could do anything to me if I made him angry, and I don’t want to take that chance.
He always brings up a diner we could go to in town.
All the bikers have been strange around me ever since Pres let me go home early.
They have been nicer to me and have made sure that I am comfortable.
They give me space when I walk next to them, and don’t make any flirty comments anymore.
I have just been ignoring them, and I am starting to feel bad about it.
Honestly, they scare me. They can get super rowdy and not pay attention to their surroundings, which could get me hurt.
I am afraid that one of them will take advantage of me.
“It’s time for lunch,” Gears announces, breaking me from my thoughts.
I lift my head, his back is facing me. I put the wrench into the toolbox, pick up the rag right next to the toolbox, and wipe my hands. I had taken off my gloves because I was working with oil and grease and didn’t want them to get dirty.
Gears said he wouldn’t look at me until I put my gloves back on. For the first thirty minutes, I looked over at Gears several times to see if he was telling the truth, and he was. I never once felt his eyes on me or saw him look at me through my peripherals.
Taking off my gloves while I work helps to cool me down a bit, too. It’s another place where I can feel the fan and AC to cool my body. It’s only gotten hotter since I arrived. I’ve started bringing a set of clothes in case I need to change before I work behind the bar.
I pick up my gloves and put them on before passing Gears, letting him know he is able to move freely now.
I make my way toward the kitchen. The closer I get, the more voices I hear, and that makes me antsy because I don’t like being crammed into small spaces with all these big men. It makes me feel claustrophobic.
I stand outside the kitchen, waiting for some of the bikers to leave.
They are laughing super loud. I envy them for being able to socialize.
The doctor told me I won’t get my voice back until I feel safe.
I want to have a conversation with someone again.
I am still on alert around the bikers. It’s like I don’t belong anywhere anymore.
I want to be able to go up and ask what their real names are, but I can’t, and I have no idea if that’s even allowed. There might be a rule that if you aren’t in the club, you can’t know their real name.
“Here’s your lunch. I noticed you standing out here for a couple of minutes,” Bear offers, handing me my lunch.
Nodding, I take it from him and try to make my way back to the garage, but Bear stops me.
“Will you go to the diner with me? I can get you out of work so we can go. I’ll pay.” He speaks softly with a small smile forming on his face.
There are very few times that Bear has been so quiet with me. It’s only when no one else is around. Anytime someone is near us, he uses his regular gruff voice, but when I look into his eyes, I can see the tenderness.
I shake my head and continue to walk. Every chance Bear gets to ask me to the diner, he does, and every time I say no. Bear grabs my arm, stopping me.
“Give me a reason why you won’t go to the diner with me,” he demands.
I shake my head and try to get my arm out of his grip, so he applies a little pressure. I turn around and glare at him.
“No. I have been kind to you since day one! I want, no, actually, I deserve a reason as to why you won’t go to the diner with me,” he says, raising his voice a tiny bit.
I try to wriggle out of his grip again, but he just tightens his hand. My breathing picks up a little. I don’t like the way he is holding my arm right now.
“I won’t let go until you are willing to give me an answer,” he threatens.
His face is emotionless. Sighing, I nod toward the garage. I hope he understands that there are pieces of paper in the garage I can write on.
“If you try anything, I will catch you,” he jokingly growls out, but I can hear a faint truth behind his words as he lets go of my arm.
I take a deep breath, calming my frantic heart and stopping my panting. I make my way toward the garage with Bear on my heels.
We get into the garage, and I place my food on the bench. I walk toward the table and grab some paper and a pen.
I don’t want to go to the diner because I don’t, I write.
It isn’t a good excuse, but I don’t want him to know I am nervous and uncomfortable about going to a diner with him. I don’t want to get close to any of these guys because I’m scared the same thing will happen again. Guys are all the same when it comes to women.
I hand Bear the piece of paper and sit on the bench. I pick up my plate and start to eat while he reads what I wrote. The piece of paper is shoved in front of my face.
“I want an actual reason, not some bullcrap excuse!” he shouts, angry.
I shake my head, but he doesn’t give up.
“We can do this all day. I want an actual reason why you won’t go to the diner with me. We will have a great time together if you just say yes. We can do whatever you want to do. I want to make you feel comfortable.” His voice softens toward the end, almost to a whisper.
I shake my head again. I put some food in my mouth, not paying attention to him. All of a sudden, my plate is taken out of my hand. Furious, I stand and glare at Bear.
I rip the piece of paper out of his hand.
GIVE ME BACK MY FOOD! I write.
He reads it before looking at me. His lip twitches upward a little bit, and it only pisses me off more.
“No can do, sweetheart, not until you give me a reason as to why you won’t go to the diner with me,” he says smugly, handing me back the piece of paper.
Because all men are the same. Happy now? Now give me back my food, I write.
I put the piece of paper back in his hand, and I look down, not wanting to see his reaction. I told someone this before, and all they gave me was pity. Pity that I think this way. It’s true, they are all the same. Every guy that I have gotten to know has turned out to be more of the same.
Ever since Jared, I see the bad in men all the time.
There is nothing good about them. They will beat you if you do something wrong.
It starts with just a push, and when they get used to the feeling of it, they realize they love it and will do it more.
Jared found out when we got into a heated argument.
He slapped me and apologized because he didn’t mean to, but the next day he did the same thing, and before long it escalated to full-on beatings.
Bear places my food back in my hands. I still don’t look up, but I start to slowly eat again. When he sits next to me, my body stiffens as I immediately go on high alert, uncomfortable with his proximity.
“Let me prove that I’m different,” Bear offers.
I freeze. What could he do that would show me that not all men are the same? They are and will always be. I shake my head.
“Just give me one chance, and if you still think I’m the same as other men, we won’t do it again. I’m asking for an opportunity to prove that I am not like all the other guys,” he says, his voice nearly pleading.
I look up at Bear. Even sitting, he is a head taller than me. I get ready to shake my head no, but Bear beats me to it.
“Please, just one chance,” he begs again.
I sigh and nod. I’ll get this over with and just tell him that he is just like all the other men.
Bear beams a smile and stands.
“You won’t regret this. I’m going to go talk to Pres about getting you off work. You finish eating and relax,” he says.
Before I can even nod, he walks out of the garage. I huff and go back to eating my chicken alfredo. They feed the guys really well here, and I can understand why they want to join the club. I know this isn’t their only reason, but it should be one of them. I would join just for this food.
“How did your talk go with Bear?” Someone breaks me out of my thoughts.
I jump, dropping the remaining food on the ground. I pout and look at it before glaring at Gears. How dare he make me waste this delicious food?
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Gears shrugs.
I look away from him and pick up what I spilled, quickly setting it on the plate to grab a rag so I can clean the sauce off the floor before I turn my attention back to Gears.
“Are you going to tell me what you guys talked about?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
My cheeks heat up, and I look away. I don’t know why I am embarrassed, but I can’t help it.
“Wait, what is this? This wasn’t here before,” Gears says, lifting the piece of paper.
He starts to scan the paper, and his eyes go wide. That’s when I realize what it is. I stand and try to grab for the paper, but Gears is faster and moves it out of my reach.
“A diner? He asked you to go to a diner?” he asks.
I shyly nod and look away. I don’t want him to make a big deal out of it.
“This is great!” Gears yells.
I look at him in surprise. Why is it great? I tilt my head and give him a confused look.
“Bear has never really given any girl attention. He has always been busy with the club and keeping things in order,” he grins. “About time he took an interest in a girl.”
Why would it be great for him to take an interest in a girl? Bear’s dedication toward the club, and lack of interest toward women are great qualities of a hard worker than you would to find in someone.
“You still look confused. We have been trying to encourage him to settle down for a while. He won’t even touch a woman. I don’t know how he does it, but he does.” Gears scoffs, grabbing some tools.
I shrug, not knowing what else to do. Working on cars has always calmed me down some; my brain just goes on autopilot, and it lets me mentally relax, so I pick up my tools and get to it.