Chapter 5
five
CALLIE
Eight hours and an infinite number of exams, blood tests, and scans later, I finally drove back to my house with an all-clear from the clan’s doctor.
Apparently, I was in peak fertility.
Yay.
My breeding appointment was scheduled for the next morning.
It made me sick to think about Hudson showing up at my door promptly at 8 AM to fuck me and leave afterward.
Also, turned on.
But mostly sick.
The nerves would’ve been worse if it was a stranger.
It was what I’d signed up for, though. And it was just a few minutes of sex—I’d survive it. I’d had sex with a whopping three men in my adult life, so I was basically a professional.
I snorted to myself at the thought.
I’d updated Wren on the Hudson development on my way to the doctor, and texted her that I’d gotten the all-clear as I left, so she called and asked me about it as I drove home.
I hung up when I arrived, and went right to work making beans and rice yet again.
The knock on my door while I was adding water to the rice shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did.
“Our appointment isn’t until the morning,” I told Hudson, as I pulled the door open.
“We’re not fucking on a schedule, Cal.” He stepped into the house, his nostrils flaring. “You don’t have any food except rice and beans, do you?”
“Nope.” I let him shut the door, walking back to the kitchen.
“I’ll order something from the Grill.”
Jerry’s Grill was the only real restaurant in town. The diner closed at two, so dinner there was nonexistent.
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I’m doing it anyway.” He caught up to me in the kitchen, putting his hands on my waist. “We need to catch up. Let’s spend tonight talking, like we used to.”
“Everything is different now.”
“Different can be good.”
“Not in this situation.”
He squeezed me lightly. “Just give me a chance, would you? You should know me well enough to know I won’t let your life look like my mom’s.”
“I haven’t known you for eight years, Hudson.”
“Like hell you haven’t. We talked, every few months. We?—”
“We only talked when I called you,” I said.
He fell quiet.
“You didn’t text me first, or call me first. You didn’t start conversations, send pictures, or anything else. When my dad died, you weren’t here.”
“No one told me.”
“Because you didn’t ask, Hud. You didn’t care.”
“I cared,” he growled. “It was just better if I maintained the distance.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a bear. Because we’re shitty with commitment. Because?—”
I turned around, though his hands remained on my hips. “You never had a problem with commitment as a kid. Or as a teenager.”
He blinked.
I’d known that was true through all of my teenage years. Everyone had warned me again and again that he would grow flaky. That he would resent scheduled activities and obligations. That he would start to withdraw.
I’d given him space to do so. I would’ve been understanding if he did.
But he didn’t.
“You answered every time I texted or called,” I said.
“You’re my best friend. Of course I answered you.”
“Your mom is your dad’s mate . Did he answer every time she texted or called?” I asked.
His forehead creased.
We both knew he hadn’t.
And she had avoided messaging or calling him as much as possible, their entire lives.
Being flaky was a choice.
Refusing to commit was a choice.
Bear shifters were full of shit.
Instead of answering my question, his hands tightened on my waist before he lifted me off my feet. I made a surprised noise, and he carried me all the way to the couch before he sat down and set me on his lap, with his chest only inches from mine.
“Hudson,” I began, but he cut me off.
“No more arguing, Callie. I’ve heard your feelings about the matter. I know you don’t like my people’s culture, and I’ve known that my whole life. But you signed up for this, so you’re going to listen to my feelings about it.”
I blinked.
It was hot when he took charge like that. He’d rarely done it when we were teenagers, but it had always been sexy.
“You remember Jimmy Opin asking you to the Spring Fling dance when we were fourteen?” he asked me.
I blinked again.
That seemed like a change of subject.
“I don’t see what that?—”
“Do you remember?” he repeated.
“Yes. I was thrilled.”
“I didn’t go over to your house immediately after school like I usually did. I wanted to follow him home and rip his fucking throat out. It was the first time I ever legitimately wanted to hurt someone. My dad had warned me to tell him when I got violent, so I asked my mom to drive me over to his place right after school. I had to explain why, and she was quiet afterward.”
I frowned as I listened.
I didn’t remember him not coming over right away, but it had happened occasionally.
“Dad explained to me that bear shifters are like most other kinds of shifters when it comes to their mates. Possessive. Violent. Dangerous. But we don’t commit the way most do, so we only take mates we don’t have any feelings for. Usually.”
“Usually?”
He dipped his head. “Fated mates exist for us too. Most bears manage to avoid finding them. I didn’t. Having such a strong possessive streak at such a young age was almost a guarantee that you were mine. So my dad called yours and explained the situation. Your dad called Jimmy’s and told him you were too young for the dance, removing the potential threat to me.”
“ Almost a guarantee?”
“When you tried to kiss me, my canines shifted automatically. That was the confirmation. And the reason I basically ran away from you. I didn’t want my dad to move me away from you, so I never told him what I’d learned. He figured it out on his own at some point, but I didn’t tell him.”
I leaned back, all but reeling from the story. “So we…”
“We’re fated mates, Cal.”
“You haven’t called or texted me without my prodding in eight years .”
“You were happy in New York. I knew you wouldn’t have been happy with me. You hate bear culture. I couldn’t commit to be what you wanted. I thought about you every fucking day and looked through those pictures you sent me obsessively… but I couldn’t take your future from you. If you’d dated anyone, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from coming after you, but you didn’t. So?—”
“I dated people.”
It was his turn to blink. “No you didn’t.”
“Not in High School. No one was attracted to me then.”
He grimaced. “Actually, I had buddies who knew how I felt about you and would tell me if someone was going to make a move. I’d have a conversation with anyone who showed interest and politely threaten to dismember them if they so much as looked at you too long.”
My eyes widened.
That was…
Okay, I wasn’t letting myself think about that yet.
Nope.
“Well, I did date in college. And have since I graduated. I wasn’t going to tell you who I was dating until I had a ring and a commitment, Hud. I had a crush on you for the better part of a decade, and you never even made me think you were attracted to me.”
“I was hard around you constantly,” he protested.
“I was so na?ve that I didn’t even know what an erection was until I started college thanks to yours and my dad’s overprotectiveness, so I sure as hell didn’t notice that,” I retorted.
His eyes narrowed. “Who taught you?”
“My roommate—and that’s none of your business. Regardless of what you told yourself when you avoided me, I lost my best friend when I went to college. You don’t get to know those things.”
“For now,” he growled.
“ Ever ,” I shot back. “And I’m still not sure I believe that you’re attracted to me, so?—”
He pulled me across his lap, until I was sitting on his cock.
His very big , very hard cock.
I couldn’t help the way my hips moved just a little, positioning him exactly where I wanted him.
“Do you want to know how many women I’ve dated, and been with?” he asked me, those gorgeous green eyes hot.
“No,” I said without question.
He leaned in and brushed a kiss to my throat. My traitorous head tipped to the side, my eyes closing as he sucked lightly.
I shifted slowly over his erection as he made his way up my neck until he nibbled on my ear, then teased my three lobe piercings with his tongue. “These are new. You didn’t tell me about them.”
“I didn’t tell you about a lot of things.”
“That’s going to change.” He bit down on my earlobe lightly. “And Callie?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve never been with anyone .”
My lips parted, and he kissed them.
Kissed me .
Slower, this time. More intimately. There was no desperation behind it. Just desire.
And even though I knew I should push him away, I kissed him back.
My hands moved over his biceps as we kissed, and kissed, and kissed. I pulled away long enough to breathe, “These muscles are new.”
“Not new. Bigger. The gym was a good distraction when I wanted to track you down. And I always wanted to track you down” He dragged my lips back to his, and we got lost in the kiss for a few more minutes.
My hands moved down his pecs, pressing into the muscles when they flexed for me. I slid my fingers down the thick ridges of his abdomen, feeling every dip, swell, and crease. “Love these,” I panted, pulling away again.
He tugged his shirt over his head, exposing his gorgeous torso for me. “They’re yours, Cal.”
With that, he recaptured my mouth.
The way his grip tightened on my hips again and again told me he was fighting the need to touch more of me. And despite knowing that he was going to leave me, that the thing between us could never be what I wanted, I needed his hands on my skin.
“You can touch me,” I said against his mouth. “If you want to. I?—”
His hands were beneath my shirt in a heartbeat, moving slowly over my bare abdomen and waist.
He throbbed hard beneath me, kissing me slower.
The way he touched me wasn’t needy, or desperate.
It was intimate.
Hot.
Almost sacred .
I felt his canines lengthen in his mouth, and ground against him a little harder.
“You going to bite me?” I asked.
“Eventually.” He dragged his front teeth lightly over my lip, and his hands moved slowly over my ribs. “You feel so damn good.”
“Your hands are still on my stomach , Hud.”
“It’s a sexy stomach.” He slid his palms back down before they dragged to my breasts, touching me lightly over the lace of my bra. “And these… fuck.” He squeezed again, still too lightly.
If he really hadn’t been with anyone, he didn’t know how to touch me.
And I liked the advantage that gave me.
For once in our relationship, I had the power.
“Take my shirt off,” I said.
He grabbed the hem of the fabric and slowly peeled it over my head.
His eyes moved over the swell of my breasts, his gaze hot and heavy as his hands found my chest again. His thumbs dragged against my nipples slowly, over my bra. “Fuck.”
“You said that already.” I reached behind my back, unbuckling the red lace fabric. When the straps fell loose, he eased them down my arms, freeing my tits entirely.
“Tell me I can taste them.”
“You can taste any part of me you want.”
The growl that followed my words was low and savage. My back hit the couch cushions a moment later, and his massive body was positioned over me, his tongue on one of my nipples and his hand on the other.
He tasted.
Sucked.
Nibbled.
Worshipped .
I was panting when he finally licked his way down my abdomen and to the waistband of my leggings. He peeled them to my thighs, meeting my gaze for a second before he pulled them the rest of the way off.
His chest rumbled as I opened my legs, letting him take in the sight of my core, barely hidden by the gray lace panties I had on. Though I did own matching sets of underwear, I never bothered to actually match them.
“Fuck, Cal.” His words were low, almost feral, as he dragged his fingers over the front of my panties.
“You already said that,” I repeated again.
“You’re going to hear it a lot.” He grabbed the top hem of my panties and tugged them downward. I arched my back, and he tore them away completely.
His eyes moved over me slowly.
Hungrily.
He couldn’t have faked the lust in his eyes if he tried.
Lowering his face to my center, he slowly opened my folds with his fingers. His thumb moved lightly over my clit, and his voice strained. “You’re so wet, I could come from the scent of you alone.”
A heartbeat later, his tongue was on my clit.
I arched so hard, I nearly fell off the couch.
He tasted me slowly, at first. I could tell he was trying to figure out what I liked—but the ferocity of his movements told me he was having the time of his life.
My fingers buried in his hair, my sounds growing louder as he dragged me to the edge with his mouth.
“I need you inside me,” I panted, desperation taking hold of me.
His thick finger filled me without a beat of hesitation, and I lost it. My hips jerked, and I cried out as I lost control. My body squeezed around him, and he snarled against me, fucking me with his tongue harder and faster.
As I came down from my climax with his mouth still on me, slowly teasing my clit and entrance, I had one clear thought:
I needed more.
“I want you,” I said, struggling for breath.
Those gorgeous green eyes met mine over my core. His lips moved against my clit. “Callie…”
“I want you,” I repeated, some part of me seeing that face I knew so well and expecting him to say no.
To turn me down.
To walk away.
But he just sucked my clit lightly, making my hips jerk.
After another moment, he dragged his face over my inner thigh, wiping my pleasure on my leg, and stood. His hands went to the button on his jeans, but I sat up and pushed them away.
His cock strained against the front so thickly, I didn’t know how I’d possibly missed it when we were teenagers.
I popped his button free and unzipped his jeans before pulling his erection out and wrapping my hand around his massive, silky length. Slowly, I dragged my fist over him.
A torturous groan escaped him. When I looked up, his eyes were closed.
“You’re not going to last long if you don’t let me take the edge off first,” I said, leaning in. With my free hand, I caught his wrist and lifted his fingers to my hair. They dug in without hesitation.
“Don’t fucking tell me someone taught you how to give a blowjob,” he said, his voice strained.
“I won’t.” I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, and sucked lightly.
He swore viciously, his grip tightening. “Cal…”
“Let me make you come.”
His cock throbbed violently in my grasp, and I took him in my mouth again, this time taking him deeper.
He swore again as I tasted and teased him until he snarled his pleasure, flooding my throat with his release.
I swallowed it and opened my eyes without taking my mouth off him. He pulled out fast enough that my lips made a sound as they popped free of his cock, and had me on my back on the couch again a heartbeat later.
“You’re mine, Cal,” Hudson growled. “I’m not waiting any longer to have you.” He opened my legs wider and thrusted his hips, filling me hard and fast.
The size of him alone was enough to make me gasp.
The way his eyes burned into mine made the emotions of the moment so much more intense.
I wasn’t screwing a stranger, or some guy I’d been dating for a few weeks. I was having sex with Hudson, my childhood best friend, the man I’d been secretly in love with for most of my life.
“You’re so fucking tight for me. Does it hurt?” He lowered his lips to my throat, nuzzling my neck as he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin. Though his cock was throbbing inside me, he didn’t move, giving me time to adjust to him.
“No,” I breathed. “You’re just big. Really, really big.”
“Bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with?”
“So much.” The words nearly came out a moan.
I moved my hips a little, and he stayed where he was, kissing and tasting my throat. “I’m going to bite you here when you come,” he said, dragging his sharp canines over the place my shoulder met my neck. “It’ll make you feel good. Really fucking good.”
“Don’t think I can feel any better than this.”
“We’re barely getting started, Cal. By the time we’re done, you’ll forget any other man ever existed.”
With the way he felt inside me, I believed him.
I really did.
“You ready to feel me move?” His hand dragged over one of my breasts, teasing my nipple roughly. I was starting to think he didn’t do gentle—and I loved that, intensely.
I moved my hips in response, making him growl as he grabbed my waist and thrusted deeper inside me.
The motions were smooth but hard, as he pulled out and drove into me again and again, finding a slow, rough rhythm that made me cry out with every single thrust of his hips.
“Tell me who you belong to, Cal,” he commanded, as my breathing picked up and my eyes dilated. I was so close to the edge of my pleasure, I could barely speak.
“You, Hud. I belong to you.”
He made a sound of satisfaction as he lifted my hips a little and drove into me harder.
His cock hit that sensitive place inside me just right—and I cried out desperately as my climax slammed into me harder than ever.
His teeth sank into my throat as he throbbed and hardened with his release, and my cries became screams as my pleasure hit a height I’d never even imagined before.
My hips rocked fast, and he pounded into me harder and harder, setting off another climax.
And another.
And another.
Until he finally released my throat and dragged his tongue over it as he slowed his motions.
I could feel our combined release all over my core, thighs, and ass.
I didn’t even know how many times we’d gotten off, or how long it had lasted, and I was too dazed to care.
His gaze was molten when it finally met mine, his breathing hard as we recovered together. “You okay, Cal?”
“Amazing,” I whispered. “I never imagined sex could be like this.”
“Agreed. I’m not letting you off my cock all night.”
“Is that a promise?” I teased, a little of our old playfulness setting back in. Whatever tension had existed between us was completely gone.
“A vow, actually.”
Before my mind could go back to our tense conversation about promises and vows, he was rolling me off the couch and carrying me toward my bedroom.
“We need a shower,” I said, as he walked.
“No point in taking one now. You’re going to be covered in my release by the time the sun comes up.”
If I wasn’t already flushed, I would’ve reddened with his words.
But I was.
And it was blissful.
He laid me down on my bed and made sweet, slow love to me until the sun started to rise. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I silently hoped that we could live in those moments forever.