Chapter 9
Dean
I was desperate to fill the silence between us as we walked into my cabin, to take her in my arms and beg her to stay with me. But I wouldn’t do that to her. She wanted something I couldn’t give her.
For the first time, I understood Bryce’s father. He lost his mate and ended up spending almost all his time as a bear. The appeal of losing myself in my bear, spending my time away from the pitying gazes sure to come my way after my mate left me. I’d be the bear shifter who was unable to make his mate happy.
Except I would make her happy. By letting her go. I shoved my hands back in my pockets and swallowed as I turned to face her, not quite able to meet her eyes, settling my gaze on her lightly freckled nose instead. “I didn’t get a chance to congratulate you on the job. I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”
Lily shuffled her feet, tugging at the hem of her shirt. “Which job?”
“The one out of state.” I drank in the sight of her, imprinting her image in my brain. Her golden hair, hanging around her shoulders, tangled from the wind. Her flushed cheeks and soft pink lips, the lower one caught between her teeth. And down to her body, disguised by my oversized clothes, and her toes, with light pink polish on them. Finally, I forced myself to look at her gorgeous green eyes, which were glossy with unshed tears.
I reached out, wanting to soothe whatever was troubling her, but pulled my hand back before I made contact. If I touched her, my thin grasp on my control would snap. “If you want, I’ll drive you home today. Dylan and I can drop your car off tomorrow. I’m sure you have things to do. Moving states is a lot of work.”
Having her in my home another night would be torture, despite how much I wanted her near. Smelling her, seeing her, talking to her, while trying to pretend I was okay would be impossible.
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “That might be best. I’ll go get changed.”
I listened to her footsteps on the stairs, then the door to the guest bedroom shut. My shoulders slumped and head dropped forward. I didn’t have long before she returned, and then I’d be trapped in the cab of my truck with her for two hours as I drove her home. Her scent would fill the vehicle, wrapping around me, invading my senses.
Thoughts of what our future could be if only I were enough consumed me. Nights with her cuddled on the couch, in front of the fire. Making dinner for her and cleaning up as a team after. Her belly, round with our child. Growing old with her and sitting on the porch watching as our grandchildren played outside.
I wiped away the tears that formed, not allowing them time to fall. I needed to stay strong. Then I heard her door open and my gaze found her at the top of the stairs, shoulders squared in determination. How could I surrender without a fight? Give up any chance at a relationship with her?
If she wouldn’t stay, I would go with her. Court her properly, however long it took for her to fall in love with me. She was more important than my home here in Shifter Alley. Maybe someday we would return, but only if she was willing. I would do whatever I needed to do.
Lily
The door to the guest bedroom closed behind me. I fought back the urge to throw myself on the bed and burst into tears. The irony of realizing I was in love with someone just as they changed their mind about me had near hysterical laughter bubbling up. How could one day change my life so completely?
I tugged the clothes Dean loaned me off, raising the shirt to my nose and inhaling his scent. I wished I could take it with me and wear it to bed every night. Never washing it, until the smell of him faded. Maybe by then I would be over him.
Pulling on the outfit I wore the day before, I tried to smooth the wrinkles, but like the hurt I experienced when Dean pulled away, they were too deep. I grabbed my purse and slid my phone into the outer pocket. I wished I had left it behind that day. It was after I got the message about the job that Dean’s attitude changed. It must have been what made him realize I wasn’t his mate. Maybe thinking of me leaving didn’t bother him the way it would if I were actually the one for him.
Or…could it be something else? A flutter of hope rose in my belly that I almost refused to entertain. What if he thought I wanted to take the job and leave him? Had I given him reason to think otherwise? I was so angry with him for arranging a job here for me. He could believe I was still opposed to teaching at the shifter school.
I needed to know the truth. If he didn’t want me, I would leave. Accept the out-of-state job and try to forget him. But if I really was his mate, he didn’t get to back away from me. I squared my shoulders and took in a deep breath, preparing to fight for what was hopefully my man.
Stopping at the top of the stairs, I met his gaze, his eyes first shuttered, showing me nothing about how he was feeling. Then they filled with a determination that rivaled my own. His strides were long as he crossed the room. He took the stairs two at a time, stopping a few steps below me, so I could look him in the eye without craning my neck.
“Let me go with you.” His words cut off any thoughts I had about what to say. “Give me a chance to convince you we’re meant to be together. We can date. You’ll have to teach me how that works, because it’s not a thing with bear shifters. But I’ll learn. I can be whatever you need me to be.”
“Dean-” I was in awe that this man was willing to walk away from his life, his family, his home, for me.
“I know the whole mate thing is new to you. I can wait for you to feel the same. What I can’t do is lose you completely. Please tell me I still have a chance.”
“You don’t need to go anywhere with me.” I stilled his protest by laying my fingers against his lips. “And you don’t have to change. Or do anything special. I just want you.”
He looked at me, his eyes questioning, but filled with hope.
“I interviewed for the shifter school job. They want me, and I’d like to accept. But I wasn’t sure you still wanted me.”
“I’ll always want you.” He brushed his mouth against mine. “I’m sorry for pulling away. I thought I had to let you go so you could follow your dreams. And I tried, but I can’t imagine life without you.”
“I don’t want to imagine life without you.” I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him close. “I love you.”
His chest rumbled, that wonderful purring sound vibrating through my body where we touched. “I love you, too.”
He peppered kisses along my cheek before taking my lips with his. My mouth opened on a gasp as his hands slid down my sides, brushing the sides of my breasts, coming to rest on the back of my thighs as he lifted me into his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist and he carried me down the hall to his bedroom. Once inside, he lowered me to my feet and cupped my face in his hands, kissing me again, his tongue slipping inside to stroke against my own.
I broke away, stepping back from him. A flash of disappointment crossed his face, but his gaze heated quickly when I removed my clothes and stood in front of him, naked. His eyes raked over me, taking in every inch of my skin, which flushed beneath his intense stare. He had seen me without clothes before, but somehow this was different. More momentous. I was offering him all of me and hoping I didn’t disappoint.