Chapter 21 #2
After an awkward few beats, she said, “Mind if we move to the couch? I’m pretty sore, and this chair isn’t doing my aching body any good.”
“Sorry, of course. I should’ve thought about that. Do you need some painkillers?”
“I took some when I got up, so I guess I’m set for another couple of hours.”
They moved to the living room and settled on the couch, close enough that Brooke could feel the heat radiating off him.
There were a few minutes of uncomfortable silence until Tyler cleared his throat. “Yesterday’s run, was it part of your actual Moose Range Run 100 training, or are you still in what you called your building phase?”
She shrugged. “Still base building. I took a few weeks off after doing the fifty-two-mile version of the Moose Range Run back in June. My body and mind needed time to rest and recover. I’ll start my actual training plan in January.” She paused. “Probably.”
“Probably?”
“I don’t know for certain,” Brooke admitted. “I’ve been thinking, after everything that’s happened . . . maybe I’m not cut out for it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I tried the 100 before, and I had to drop at the turnaround because I timed out. I was a few minutes late for the cutoff, and they wouldn’t let me continue.”
“That had to sting.”
“You have no idea. I mean, I knew the rules going in, of course, but I’m not going to lie, I thought maybe I’d get there and they’d let me slide.
So anyway, my name is listed under the DNF section.
Did not finish. Right there for everyone to see until the end of time.
” She forced a smile, though the reality of it still bothered her.
“But you came back this year. You knew you could do it, and you signed up again.”
She laughed as she shook her head. “I was a mental case. I’d made an unrealistic training schedule and drove myself too hard. My mind was a mess, and my body was trying to give out, but I still kept pushing. Did Gina tell you why we were caught in the storm up at Bearwater?”
He nodded. “She said it came in early. You all thought you had time to get the run done.”
“She’s being kind. It’s true the storm came in early, but instead of turning around and heading back, like a sane person would’ve done, I insisted we keep going.
I was going to make it to the top of the mountain no matter what.
It was only a little over ten miles round trip, and we were close to halfway on the outbound when the snow started.
I convinced myself we could make it to the turnaround and back before it got bad. ”
“But you couldn’t.”
“No, no way. We were at the steepest part. Joe wasn’t used to the kind of climb we needed. The snow and wind were awful. We could’ve died right there if Gina and Nick hadn’t taken over. Somehow, they brought me to my senses.”
“They didn’t mention any of that,” he said, taking her hand. “They’ve got your back, Brooke.”
“Yeah, they do. That day and every day since. Joe too. He wrote the article about what happened up there, and it was very fair. He didn’t even completely throw Kelsey under the bus, though she probably deserved it.
And his article helped me convince the organizers of the Moose Range Run 100 to allow me to drop to the shorter distance.
They don’t usually allow a distance change. ”
“It all worked out pretty well.”
She stared at their intertwined fingers. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. “Except now, I’m rethinking things.”
“Rethinking what?”
She could hear the hesitation in his tone. She gave his hand a squeeze. “About the Moose Range Run. Things have been . . . weird lately. And now, with being attacked on the trail yesterday, I’m wondering if I have it in me to do the necessary training.”
“Gina said you’ll heal, that you’ll be fine in a few weeks. If you’re not starting your full training until January, you should be completely recovered.”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m more concerned about the mileage needed. About going out on the trails for a full day on my own. I’m thinking I should just stick to shorter distances. I need to be realistic about my limitations.”
Tyler was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was gentle but firm. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
Brooke laughed, but it came out bitter. “I’m not strong. I’m terrified half the time.”
“Being strong doesn’t mean you’re never scared. It means you do hard things anyway.” He shifted closer. “You got back up after last year. You survived what happened at Bearwater. You fought off your attacker yesterday. That’s not someone who gives up.”
“But what if I fail again?”
“Then you fail. And you get back up. Again.” Tyler’s thumb traced circles on the back of her hand.
“Look, I’m not a runner like you are. I’ve never done anything farther than that trail run with the group last week.
What was that? About five miles? But I could help you train when you’re cleared to run again. ”
“How?”
“I’ll ride my bike on the longer distances. Be your support crew. Make sure you’re never alone on the trails. Whatever you need.”
The gesture hit her harder than it should have. He wasn’t trying to fix her fears or tell her what to do. He was offering to be there. To support what mattered to her, even though he didn’t fully understand it.
“Why would you do that?” Brooke asked quietly.
“Because it matters to you. Because I want to be there for you.” He paused. “Because I care about you.”
Something in Brooke’s chest gave way as her heart thumped louder.
“You loved your wife. Your son.” She wasn’t really asking, just confirming what she already knew.
“I did. Very much.”
Brooke leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m not trying to replace her. I want you to know that.”
“I know.” Tyler’s arm came around her shoulders. “Jen wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life alone. She’d want me to be happy. To find someone who made me laugh again.”
“Do I make you laugh?”
“You make me feel alive. Right now, that’s better than laughing.”
They sat like that for a while, comfortable in the silence. Brooke’s hand rested on Tyler’s knee, his fingers playing with the ends of her hair.
“I’m obsessive,” Brooke said suddenly. “When I get focused on something, I can’t let it go. Training plans, work schedules, whatever. I fixate until it consumes me. It’s not healthy.”
“Everyone has things they struggle with.”
“But mine affects other people. I get so wrapped up in training that I push everyone away. My dad complains he barely sees me. Phil gets tired of my constant talk about mile splits and nutrition. Even the running club gets sick of me, and they know better than anyone else how it is. Steph has run several ultramarathons and has her own level of obsessiveness, and I even drive her crazy.”
“They still love you. They all called this morning.”
“I know. But I scared them. I scared myself.” Brooke lifted her head to look at him. “I’ve made myself a promise that this time I’m not going all looney bin.”
The air between them shifted. Brooke became acutely aware of how close they were, how his hand felt against her skin, how his eyes had gone darker.
She leaned in.
The kiss was different from the ones before. Deeper, more certain. His hand slid into her hair, careful of her bandage. Her fingers found his jaw and traced the line of it.
When they broke apart, she reached for him again. Their faces were inches apart. “I’m falling for you,” she said, her voice shaky. “I’m really falling for you, and it scares me.”
“Why does it scare you?” He pulled back, his face tightening.
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not saying . . . it’s just . . . it’s been a while since I had anything resembling a relationship.”
“I’m scared too,” Tyler admitted. “Terrified, actually. What if being near me puts you in danger? What if yesterday’s attack was because of me?”
Brooke took his face in both hands. “Then we’re both scared. But I’d rather be scared with you than safe without you.”
Tyler pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her like he could shield her from everything outside this moment. “I’m not going anywhere. I’d like us to be together. Get to know each other better.”
“I’d like that, too,” Brooke agreed.
They stayed on the couch, talking and not talking, the conversation flowing naturally from serious topics to lighter ones.
Tyler told her about funny things that happened at the garage.
Brooke shared stories about difficult customers and the time someone tried to order a pizza at the coffee shop.
They took breaks from talking to share kisses like love-starved teenagers.
Then a knock at the door shattered the peace.