25. Chapter Twenty-Six #2
By early afternoon, the cloud cover had broken enough to send brighter patches of light through the canopy.
I moved farther along the ruined terrace looking for the motmot I'd seen earlier in the week, careful around the obvious loose stone but not particularly worried about the ground itself.
Nothing along that stretch looked different from dozens of damp, root-covered places I'd already crossed during the assignment.
A flash of blue-green appeared beyond a broken wall, and I raised my camera when the motmot settled onto a low branch.
Too close, the motmot complained as its long tail shifted beneath the branch and one dark eye fixed on me.
“Fair.” I murmured to the motmot as I eased backward, giving the bird more room while keeping it inside the viewfinder.
The extra distance left a pale block of stone directly behind its head.
I shifted right, but a vine cut through the frame, so I started backing up another half step while keeping the camera raised.
“Evie, wait.” Malek warned from behind and to my left, his normal voice suddenly sharp enough that I registered the concern even with most of my attention on the bird. I heard him, but the motmot had started shifting its feet and I knew I probably had seconds before it left.
“One second.” I told Malek as I adjusted my framing and let my heel drift backward. Something cracked beneath my boot, and the sound was too deep to be a branch.
“Stop.” Malek commanded, Alpha Voice driving through the single word with enough force that my body obeyed before I understood what had happened.
Every muscle locked. My heel stopped before it touched down fully, my knees held exactly where they were, and my fingers tightened around the camera while the breath I'd been taking stalled in my chest. I understood a moment later, and that realization scared me almost as badly as the sound beneath my foot.
I hadn't decided to stop.
The ground behind me collapsed before I could do anything with that thought.
Soil slid away in a sudden rush, exposing a web of roots underneath before one tore loose with a wet snap and took more dirt with it.
An old block of stone tipped free, struck another piece of ruin below, and disappeared into the opening that formed less than a foot behind my suspended heel.
Ground gone! the motmot called as it launched from the branch, wings shaking droplets from the nearby leaves before it vanished deeper into the trees.
My muscles released all at once, and air rushed back into my lungs while I stared at the place where I'd almost stepped.
Malek reached me seconds later and wrapped one arm around my waist.
“Move.” Malek instructed in his normal voice as he pulled me several steps forward onto firmer ground, fear roughening the word without any of the force that had been inside the first command.
I moved with him because I chose to, and recognizing the difference turned my stomach.
Malek released me the moment we were clear, and I lowered the camera to check it automatically.
The strap was secure, the lens was intact, and nothing had cracked or bent, but once I knew the equipment was fine, I noticed the shaking in my hands.
Loose soil continued slipping down the exposed edge behind us. From where I'd approached, the surface had looked solid. From the side, I could see the hollow where recent rain had washed dirt away beneath the top layer. If I'd put my full weight on that foot, I would've gone down with it.
Malek had saved me. I knew that perfectly well, and I also knew exactly what he'd used to do it.
“You used your Alpha Voice on me.” I told Malek as I turned toward him, my voice sharper than usual while adrenaline still made my fingers tremble around the camera.
Malek went still several feet away from me.
Cedar and damp earth had strengthened sharply around him, fear easy to pick out beneath the familiar scent, but he kept his hands open at his sides and made no attempt to move closer.
“Yes.” Malek admitted as his golden-brown eyes stayed on mine. I knew exactly what Alpha Voice was. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that I'd just felt what it was like when one was directed at me.
“I didn't decide to stop. That's the part I can't get past. You said one word, and my body listened before I got any say in it.” I told Malek as I pressed one hand against the camera resting on my chest, my palm damp against the hard body.
“I know.” Malek replied quietly, regret tightening his expression while he stayed exactly where he was.
“You saved me, and I'm not going to pretend you didn't. If I'd taken that step, I would've gone down with the ground.” I told Malek as I glanced toward the torn earth and exposed roots behind us before looking back at him.
Malek's jaw tightened, but he stayed silent and let me finish.
“Knowing you needed to stop me doesn't make what it felt like disappear. For those few seconds, what you told my body to do mattered more than what I wanted it to do, and I hated that.” I continued as I rubbed my damp palm against my thigh, trying to get rid of the lingering memory of muscles that hadn't waited for my permission.
“The ground had already started failing. I warned you normally, but you were already putting your weight back and I couldn't reach you in time.” Malek explained as his gaze moved briefly toward the distance he'd had to cover before returning to me, his tone controlled rather than defensive.
I followed his glance and knew he was right. Even if he'd started running the second he saw the soil shift, he wouldn't have reached me before my foot came down. That mattered, but it didn't erase the rest.
“Then listen carefully, because I need this to be clear.
If you have time to yell, yell. If you can grab me, grab me.
Tackle me, drag me, bruise me if that's what it takes to stop me from falling off something. Alpha Voice is last.” I told Malek as I folded my arms, partly from anger and partly because it helped hide the last of the shaking in my hands.
Malek's attention stayed completely on me.
“Immediate danger, no time, and no safer option.
All three. You don't use it because I'm being stubborn, because you don't like what I'm doing, or because making me obey would be easier than arguing with me.” I continued as I held his gaze, unwilling to leave enough room for either of us to misunderstand later.
“Yes. Immediate danger, no time, and no safer option. I understand.” Malek answered with one firm nod, his voice steady despite the fear still heavy in his scent.
I waited for the qualification because some part of me genuinely expected one.
He could have reminded me he was Head Alpha, pointed out that I was an Omega, or argued that protecting me gave him the right to decide when using Voice was justified.
Malek didn't do any of those things.
“I'm sorry. I know what using it took away from you for those seconds, and I won't use it again unless those conditions are true.” Malek apologized as regret roughened his voice, keeping the space between us instead of trying to soften the apology with touch.
“Good, because I never want it becoming a shortcut when you're scared or frustrated with me.” I told Malek as I let my arms fall, the shaking finally starting to fade now that I knew he wasn't going to fight me on the boundary.
“It won't.” Malek promised as he held my gaze, his scent still strong but contained rather than pushed toward me.
He didn't purr to settle me, crowd me until his size forced me to pay attention to him, or tell me I needed to calm down.
He let me stay angry until the anger started changing on its own, and by the time my heartbeat stopped trying to escape through my ribs, I realized Alpha Voice wasn't the only thing bothering me.
“This is part of what scares me about us.” I told Malek as I looked at him again, the anger giving way to a problem I'd been carrying since I accepted Patagonia.
“The Voice?” Malek asked as his brow furrowed, keeping the distance I'd clearly wanted rather than using the question as an excuse to approach.
“Not only that. Your first instinct when something is dangerous is to get between me and it, and when you can't do that, you still look for some way to stop it.
Today I needed you to. What happens when I'm in Patagonia and you can't do either?” I answered Malek as I shifted my weight, my legs beginning to ache now that the adrenaline was wearing off.
“What happens when a check-in is late because equipment goes down, or I tell you afterward that weather changed the route and we spent the night somewhere we hadn't planned?”
“I worry. Probably more than you want me to.” Malek admitted as he met my eyes, cedar still stronger than usual around him.
“You're allowed to worry. What I can't do is build my life around making sure you never have a reason to.” I told Malek as some of the heat left my voice.
“Photography isn't something I'm doing until I settle down, and travel isn't a phase I'm waiting to outgrow.
Patagonia isn't going to be the last job that takes me away.”
“I know.” Malek replied, the set of his mouth making it obvious that knowing and liking were nowhere near the same thing.
“I need you to know it when I'm actually gone too.
Being with you doesn't mean I'm eventually moving into the sanctuary and turning down anything that takes me too far away because three Alphas are happier when they can smell me.” I told Malek as I held his gaze, needing him to understand that today's argument was bigger than one bad patch of ground.
For half a second, loving you almost came out instead of being with you. I stopped the words because they were true, not because I doubted them, and I wasn't telling Malek for the first time beside a collapsed ruin while I was sweaty, angry, and still trying to get my hands completely steady.