26. Chapter Twenty-Seven #7
“Here. Drink some.” Malek told me as he returned with water and sat beside my shoulder, gathering my damp hair away from my neck before handing me the cup. The cup was cool against my palms, and I hadn't realized how dry my mouth was until the first swallow.
“Okay.” I told Malek as I took it with both hands and drank several slow swallows, too tired to argue with something I actually needed.
Luca came back with a damp cloth and settled near my legs.
The fabric was cool enough against my overheated skin that I flinched slightly when he first touched my inner thigh, and he stopped immediately.
“Tell me if anything feels wrong, not just sore.” Luca instructed as he began cleaning me carefully, pausing again when my muscles twitched beneath his hand.
“Nothing feels wrong.” I assured Luca as I shifted one leg enough to make his job easier, noticing the pleasant heaviness still settled through my thighs. “I'm definitely going to be sore tomorrow.”
“I'd be surprised if you weren't.” Luca replied as he resumed cleaning me, his touch gentle around the places that had already had enough attention for one night. “If that changes from ordinary soreness, tell me.”
“I will.” I promised Luca as I leaned more comfortably into Malek's side.
Tavian remained sprawled near my feet for several minutes before pushing himself upright.
His hair was a mess, his skin still damp across his chest, and the usual restless energy had disappeared from him.
Instead of immediately making some ridiculous announcement about his contribution to the evening, he reached for the clean blanket Luca had left nearby and pulled it over my legs after Luca finished.
“You warm enough?” Tavian asked me as he tucked the edge loosely beside my calf, his amber eyes moving over my face.
“Yeah.” I told Tavian as I reached down and touched the back of his hand, wanting him closer now that the worst of the overstimulation had started fading. “Come back up here.”
Tavian climbed into the nest beside me and settled close without putting his weight on me. Malek resumed working his fingers through my damp hair, Luca handed me fruit before leaning back beside my other hip, and Tavian rested one hand over my ankle with his thumb moving slowly across my skin.
Nobody hurried. Malek eventually retrieved his shirt from beneath his leg and handed it to me without comment when he saw me looking for it.
I tucked the fabric against my side under the blanket.
Luca shifted one of the pillows back beneath my head, checking that I was comfortable before relaxing onto his elbow.
Tavian stayed quieter than normal, occasionally running his thumb along the same small section of my ankle while his purr came and went beneath his breathing.
Once we were cleaned up and settled beneath the blankets, I kept thinking about the moment Malek's teeth had rested against my gland.
“I wanted the bite for a second.” I told all three men as I lowered the piece of fruit into my lap, my voice quieter than it had been during sex.
Malek's hand stopped in my hair. Tavian lifted his head, and Luca's attention settled fully on me.
None of them spoke over me or tried to turn the admission into something it wasn't.
“I meant it when I said not yet.” I continued as I looked first toward Malek, seeing his jaw tighten once before relaxing again. “I just realized part of me wanted the mark anyway because I'm leaving soon.”
“It probably would make some parts of being apart easier.” Luca told me as he rested one hand against my calf, his attention staying on my face instead of the gland beneath my jaw.
“Probably, and that's exactly why I don't want to do it now.” I told Luca as I set the fruit aside on the small plate near the edge of the bedding. “I love you. I want the marks. I just don't want to make that choice before I'm leaving for three months.”
Tavian rubbed his thumb once across the side of my hand before answering.
“You think you might wonder later if you chose it because you were scared to leave us.” Tavian said as he watched me carefully, his voice serious now.
“Yes.” I told Tavian as I nodded. “And I don't want that thought anywhere near something this permanent.” Tavian's mouth tightened, but he didn't argue. The citrus and spice around him had deepened enough that I knew he didn't like the answer, yet he made no attempt to talk me out of it.
“I want to leave without the bond.” I told all three men as I shifted Tavian's hand onto my stomach, keeping my fingers linked with his.
“I want to be gone for those three months and come back before I make something this permanent.
If I still want the marks when I'm back here—and I think I will—then I'll know I didn't choose them because I was staring at a departure date and panicking about being away from you.”
Luca shifted closer, the edge of his shoulder pressing lightly against my leg.
“Don't turn the three months into something you have to pass either.” Luca told me as he rested his forearm along my leg, his tone gentle but firm. “You don't have to prove you're independent by refusing to miss us, and you don't have to prove you love us by being miserable the entire time.”
“I don't want to.” I told Luca as I met his green-gold eyes. “Patagonia is something I genuinely want. I want to be there while I'm there.”
“Then be there.” Luca replied with a small nod, his hand resting comfortably against my leg. “We'll still be here.”
There was no promise that three months wouldn't feel long or that none of us would struggle with it. Luca simply expected me to do the job I wanted without turning the separation into a test I had to win.
Malek's hand moved from my hair to my waist.
“And when you come back, we talk about mating then.” Malek told me, his voice quiet and steady as his thumb rested against my side.
“Yes.” I answered Malek as I leaned back against his chest, feeling his purr start again beneath my shoulder blades. “Then we talk about it.”
“Then we wait.” Malek told me as his hand remained relaxed against my waist, giving me the answer without an argument or an attempt to negotiate a different one. Tavian let out a slow breath through his nose and looked down at our linked hands for a moment.
“I don't like waiting.” Tavian admitted as his fingers tightened briefly around mine. “But I understand why you want to.”
“I don't particularly like it either.” I told Tavian as I squeezed his hand. “Part of me wants all three marks tonight.”
His eyes dropped toward my glands for less than a second before returning to my face.
“That part of you has excellent judgment.” Tavian told me, the faint humor lasting only long enough to make my mouth twitch before his expression became serious again. “But we'll wait.”
“Thank you.” I told Tavian as I rubbed my thumb across his fingers, knowing he meant it even if he hated the decision. Luca pulled the blanket a little higher over my legs and tucked the edge near my hip where cool night air had started reaching through the shutters.
“Three months won't change what you said tonight.” Luca told me as he settled beside me again, his voice quiet enough that the frogs and insects outside remained audible beneath it. “You don't need a mark to make me believe you.”
My eyes burned again, and I needed a second before I trusted my voice.
“I meant every word.” I told Luca as I reached for him and pulled him close enough to kiss.
“I know.” Luca replied against my mouth, resting his forehead briefly against mine before settling back beside me.
I stayed there with Malek warm against my back, Tavian's hand linked with mine, and Luca close enough that his knee rested against my leg.
My gland still ached where Malek's teeth had rested, and wanting all three permanent marks wasn't the part I questioned anymore.
I loved them. I wanted to come back to them. I wanted to be their mate.
I just wasn't making that choice a few days before I left for three months.
For now, not yet was enough.