Chapter 15
“I’m gonna eat this so hard.” Cassie stared at her white chocolate bread pudding pancakes in their gooey, warm goodness, deciding which bite to take first.
Janay laughed. “Girl, I can feel the sugar coma just looking at that.”
Cassie loaded a forkful and held it up to her. “Want a bite?”
“Nah, I’m good.” Janay speared a piece of shrimp and ran it through some buttery grits while Cassie tasted the first bite of her pancakes.
She closed her eyes as cinnamon, sugar, and white chocolate bready deliciousness commingled on her taste buds, and did a happy dance in her chair.
The restaurant was filled with people, and Cassie took a moment to enjoy the cacophony of conversations and laughter in the space.
She had hurdled all of the wedding planning and finally had free time to herself again, and brunch was a first step in filling that time with people and experiences that rejuvenated rather than drained her.
“So, how was the wedding?” Janay asked.
Cassie smiled as she remembered the touching ceremony, the beautiful decorations, and the joy and laughter at the reception. “It went surprisingly well. Everything worked out, thankfully.”
“That’s awesome. I’m proud of you.” Janay sipped her mimosa but kept her eyes on Cassie. “And what about Drea?”
Something must have passed through Cassie’s eyes to tip her off.
Janay’s face lit up. “Did she kiss you?”
“No-o-o.” She dragged out the word trying to figure out how to explain the thing that had kept her up all night.
“Girl, spill.”
Cassie rested her elbows on the wood table and dropped her face into her hands for a moment. “I don’t know. My mind has been spinning all night.”
Janay’s eyes widened. “Is it bad? Like sexy bad?” She waggled her eyebrows.
“Yes.”
Janay’s mouth dropped open.
“And no.”
And then it closed.
“Wha-at hap-pened?” She dragged out the words for emphasis. “You’re driving me nuts.”
“Everything was going good. Like better-than-I-could-have-hoped-for good. And then I was dancing with this girl.”
Janay’s eyebrows rose as she tilted her head.
“No, not like that . . . I mean, she was attractive and nice, but no.”
Janay’s face scrunched up like that information didn’t add up, but motioned for her to continue.
“And then it was thundering and the painting was outside.”
“What painting?” Janay asked and took another sip of her mimosa.
“Oh my god, there was this blank wall in the courtyard where the ceremony was so Drea painted this incredibly beautiful three-panel piece that covered the wall but was also this amazing homage to how the brides met. You have to see it. It’s really something.”
“Wow, okay, go on.”
“The painting was outside, so I ran out there and helped Drea get the panels inside, but she went back for the altar and we were out there soaked, um . . .” Cassie’s words faltered as she remembered how devastatingly sexy Drea had looked in her suit, staring at her as water from her rain-drenched hair ran down her cheek.
“Shit, sorry. Where was I?”
Janay shook her head with a huge grin. “You were soaked . . .”
“Right. So I grabbed her hand—because the altar wasn’t coming down anytime soon and it was freezing, you know, so . . .”
Janay rolled her hand in a circle . . . to keep it moving.
“So, right, um, we ran inside and we were laughing and wet and cold and she was just, like, looking at me with this, I don’t know, intensity and calm, but also emotion that I couldn’t place, and I’m staring at this incredibly beautiful woman who makes the word sexy seem so woefully inept to encapsulate what she truly is. And, you know me . . .”
Janay nodded, her eyes wide as she hung on every word.
“I’m responsible and do the right thing . . . now. So, of course I couldn’t act on anything.”
Janay frowned.
Cassie tilted her head and continued. “But then there’s this other part that, you know, doesn’t always do the right thing, and Drea was cold, so I put my hand on her cheek, and . . .”
“And?”
“It was odd, like I stepped out of my body and my thoughts telling me no and all I wanted to do was . . .”
“What?” Janay’s voice couldn’t hide her enthusiasm.
“Kiss her. So I leaned in and . . .”
“Oh my god, you’re killing me. What happened? You kissed Drea Cordeira?” Janay’s eyes were wider than Cassie had ever seen them.
“And the front desk guy gave us towels.”
Janay slumped back in her chair with her hands up and a don’t even look on her face. “You’re telling me that you’re both soaked, staring into each other’s eyes, and you leap out of your body to place your hand on her cheek and lean into her, and neither of you kiss each other?”
Cassie grimaced and nodded. Hearing it back again definitely made it sound worse.
“Like Drea, right? This is Dre-a,” she pointed her finger to the sky with each syllable, “on the other side of this moment, and no one gets kissed?”
There wasn’t air to even form words to respond. She put her hands up in a half shrug and continued shaking her head until something occurred to her that sank her heart. She slumped in her chair as it all added up. “She’s not into me.”
“She’s been helping you for over a month with this wedding stuff?”
Cassie nodded.
“And you gave her an out and she chose to continue?”
Cassie nodded.
“And did she look away when you stared into her eyes?”
“No.” The words were barely a whisper.
“Did she move away when you placed your hand on her cheek?”
Cassie shook her head.
“What about when you leaned into her?”
Cassie shook her head again.
“Then girl, she’s into you.” Janay took a bite of food as if the problem had been solved.
As much as Cassie wanted to dismiss it, Janay made some good points.
When she had asked Drea why she kept helping her despite hating weddings, her answer had been sincere and surprising.
But Cassie had assumed it meant she felt bad for her.
Or wanted someone to banter with at work again.
But last night she had felt it. There had been something between them.
She hadn’t been looked at like that in a long time, maybe ever.
But she had acted on it. Not Drea, who always got the girl.
That was the piece she couldn’t explain. Why hadn’t Drea made a move?
“So, what are you gonna do about it?” Janay asked.
“We work together, Janay. It’s complicated. What if I’m wrong and then it’s awkward at work?” She took a moment to think about how much that would suck. “This is the first job where I feel like I’m seen and my boss has my back. I can’t put that in jeopardy.”
“But what if you’re right?”
“Drea’s not the relationship type. You know that.
I know that. Every queer and questioning woman in New Orleans knows that.
Probably some straight ones, too. Would it be a fun time?
An incredible night?” She nodded and closed her eyes at the agony of the fantasy of it, which she knew didn’t come close to the reality of what being with Drea would be like.
She opened her eyes to see Janay watching her with raised brows.
“Yes, god yes. But that would be it. And I’d have to sit there across from her every day, just like I do now, except I’d know what every inch of her body looks like underneath those clothes and how her skin feels against mine, how devastating her kiss is, and don’t get me started on those eyes. ”
“So, you’ve thought about it?” Janay grinned.
Cassie tilted her head. “A little.” She jammed another bite of pancake into her mouth, but even that couldn’t quench the want coursing through her veins.
“You know I’m not built that way. I tried it, but I need more than a fun night.
” She shook her head, trying to convince herself as well.
“Drea sleeps with women. I just work with her. And now that the weddings are over, that’s all we’ll do. ”
Janay shrugged. “Okay. If you say so.”
“I do.”
* * *
Drea sipped her coffee, trying to avoid looking in Cassie’s direction, as if her work required ultimate focus for once. She tapped the screen of her tablet and added a bold purple to the design, which only reminded her of Cassie. Delete.
She was a little apprehensive about talking to Cassie after the situation Saturday night.
That’s what she had been calling it. The situation.
She thought Cassie might act weird around her.
After all, she had put herself out there and Drea had stood there like an idiot.
She had to have felt rejected on some level, even though it wasn’t her intention.
Or maybe Cassie thought they had been interrupted and something would have happened otherwise.
She would have been wrong, but at least it would have saved her from the feeling of rejection.
Since Cassie definitely wasn’t acting weird around her, she assumed it was option number two, but they had been at work all morning and Cassie hadn’t shown the least bit of sign that she wanted to touch base about it or continue it in any way. That was the most confusing part.