13. Chapter 13
Mason
I grin at the pictures Jinx sent me. My dick instantly hardens at the visual. While it’s sexy, this is more about him obeying me than anything. An hour after I received the raunchy pictures, he sent me one of him studying for a sociology exam.
Jinx obeying my orders shows how much he wants this.
He’s proving it to me with every picture sitting in my text app.
I thought he’d fight me more. It’s refreshing that he doesn’t.
The amount of trust he’s giving me is awe-inspiring and a turn-on.
A rush of dopamine courses through me at the thought.
I just need to be very careful not to ruin that trust, which is a valid concern.
I can’t wait to get him back here.
My phone pings, notifying me of another text.
Pet: I’m taking off the weekends to see you.
Me: I’ll make arrangements.
Pet: Did you like my pictures, Daddy?
Me: I did, very much. Thank you, my pet.
Pet: They’re hot, right?
I chuckle as I respond to him.
Me: Very hot.
The dots on the screen keep moving, but then they stop, and no message goes through. Assuming he’s done, I set my phone down and head to my bathroom.
Those pictures were indeed hot, so much so that I need to relieve myself.
I pull down my sweats and underwear, lift the lid to the toilet seat, and start stroking myself.
The more I touch myself, the more desperate I am for release.
I close my eyes and focus on the image of Jinx’s ass with the gleaming plug.
My strokes are rushed and a little frantic.
It only takes a minute before I’m coming.
After I pull up my pants and wash my hands, I find another text from Jinx.
Pet: I miss you.
How can three simple words fill me with such joy and fear at once? My gut clenches, and my racing heart makes it hard to breathe. He misses me? That right there shows what’s at stake.
Soon, I’m flooded with rapid texts, the dinging noise filling the bedroom.
Pet: I mean just that
Pet: I like sleeping next to someone
Pet: My head was clear, and now it’s cluttered
Pet: Sorry
Pet: Never mind
Instead of texting him back, I fall into my bed and call him.
“Hey,” he says tentatively when he answers. “I’m so embarrassed. Sorry.”
I love his honesty. It’s a trust I really don’t think I’ve earned yet.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Precious. Never shy away from honesty.”
“I’m trying to sleep.”
“Then I’ll let you go.”
“No! Don’t… I mean…” He sighs heavily. “Will you talk to me until I do?”
God, I’m not sure why that makes my eyes water. My heart aches for him. It has for days now. I’ve never experienced anyone as torn apart as Jinx. He’s reclaiming his life, but that pain and suffering will be with him forever.
I clear my throat to push away the emotions. “I can do that.”
“Will you tell me a story?”
I owe him that much. I’ve barely told him a thing about myself, and he’s been so good. “Sure.” I sit up in bed and run a hand through my hair. I don’t want to talk about Jude, but I will. “His name was Jude. I was thirty-one when he died. We met two years prior.” God, it sounds so clinical.
“Did you love him?”
“So much. So very much.” Not enough to keep him, but I don’t say that. I’m not ready to go into the trauma of my guilt.
“You did with him what you and I do?”
“Yes. We started as Dom/sub, but eventually we became more than that, and our dynamic never deviated. He needed it as much as I did, perhaps more so. We were on 24/7.”
“Oh. Are we going to be on all the time, too?”
“Would you like that or something different?”
He’s quiet as he thinks about it. “I don’t know.”
“We can let things fall naturally. It’s what I prefer to do.”
“Yeah, I like that.” He pauses and asks, “So, what was Jude like?”
“A lot like you, but not with all your trauma. Well, he had some, but not to the extent you went through. Your eyes are the same. He loved to be a brat, just like you. He was so smart, too. Beautiful soul.”
My eyes water again at the memories. That kind of pain and guilt lingers for years. It may soften with time, but it doesn’t vanish.
“Does it hurt?”
I smile and sniff. “Yeah, it still hurts.”
“Tell me a story about him. Tell me about one of your sessions,” he says.
“Very well.”
My eyes close as I get lost in memories, plucking one out of my brain that hopefully won’t be too painful.
My last sub moved away several months ago, and I’ve got the itch again. I miss him, but we weren’t at it long enough for me to grow too attached. I started being a Dom back in college, and I can’t do regular relationships now. I love it way too much, but it’s not for everyone.
It’s not like I can hit a bar and find someone, so I search online for a BDSM dating site.
When I find one, I scroll through profiles, seeing who catches my eye. Not only should we mesh well, but he has to be attractive. Then I stumbled upon a beautiful face with stunning blue eyes and light brown, wavy hair. He’s stunning. I read his profile to see if we’d be a good match.
What I like about this site is that they list their likes and dislikes on their profiles, which makes it easier to find someone who will be a good match.
SubJWM0530 is his handle. I read that he’s never been a submissive before, but he’s eager to learn from an experienced Dom. He’s in law school and works as an intern at a top-tier law firm, so he wants to find someone to let go with. Someone he can trust.
He’s perfect. I can shape and mold him exactly how I want him. It will be like creating art from scratch in my own style.
I quickly send him a message, telling him a little bit about myself that’s beyond what’s in my profile. Then I sit, eagerly waiting for his response, which comes in an hour later.
After some back-and-forth chatting, we agree to meet for dinner to discuss the details and see if we really do match.
“I bet he was perfect,” Jinx says softly, bringing me instantly into the present.
“He was. He really was.”
“How old was he?”
“Jude was twenty-five.”
“So you two met up and hit it off, or was he an ass like me?”
I chuckle. “You’re not an ass, Precious. Difficult? Stubborn? Yes. But also, understandable.”
Instead of responding, he sends a FaceTime request, so I answer it.
Jinx is lying down naked, but he has the covers pulled up to his waist. There’s this cute little orange and white fluffball of a cat curled into him, doing biscuits on his chest and being careful not to claw him. He looks tired.
“Who’s your friend?”
He looks down at the cat with a tired smile. “This is Orange Crush. Weird name, I know.”
“It’s a cute name.”
“For some reason, he’s attached himself to me. Dumb as a rock, though.” He looks back at the screen and frowns. “Tell me more.”
I roll onto my side and prop up my phone against the pillow to finish my story.
Jude William MacBride is even more beautiful in person. You always worry if you’ve been catfished with online dating. He’s confident and outgoing. You have to be as a lawyer. You can’t be shy. It doesn’t surprise me that he wants to let it all go and hand his life over to someone like me.
We meet up at a Spanish tapas restaurant, one of my favorites in the East Village, NYC. It’s trendy, but the food is amazing. Even better, it’s not far from where I work.
When I arrive, right on time, he’s already there. That’s an excellent start and shows how reliable he is.
He stands when I approach the table where he’s waiting, and we shake hands.
“I’m Jude. You’re Mason, right?”
“Yes, but my parents called me Massimo. I changed it in college to Mason.”
We sit down, and the server is at our table, ready to take our drink order. I ask for an old-fashioned, and Jude orders a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
“Massimo’s a cool name,” he says when she leaves, chomping on a breadstick.
“Yeah, and my parents weren’t too happy about it, either, but I just… I don’t know… I wanted to Americanize myself.”
And another step to regaining some control over my life, but I don’t tell him that.
Conversation is easy, and we talk about everything other than what we’re there for. I learned he’s originally from Charlotte, NC, and when he graduated from college, he came up to attend Columbia Law School. That just shows how smart he is.
“I wanted to be a big, bad lawyer from New York City,” he says, laughing self-deprecatingly. “It’s brutal. Competition is fierce, but when you’re driven, there’s no other option.”
I swallow back a raw oyster from the shell, covered in lemon juice and hot sauce. “I get that. My parents have pushed the hell out of me to succeed. I’m not what they wanted, but…” I shrug.
He smiles, exposing cute dimples on his cheeks. “Let me guess: they wanted you to be a lawyer or a doctor?”
“You got it. They said even dentistry would’ve been acceptable.”
He raises his glass, and I clink mine against his, taking a sip. “And now you’re a restaurant manager at one of the hottest restaurants in the East Village. I’m going to have to stop by Chloe’s while you’re working one day.”
“Please do. I’ll buy you dinner.”
“How can I say no to that?”
I really like him. His confidence is off the charts, and he’s always ready with a smile. I look forward to when he hands over his body and soul to me.
It’s easy to forget the pain for a moment after focusing on the good times, and Jude and I had a lot of good times. But like all relationships, there are always some bad moments. Still, we worked through them until we didn’t. I didn’t.
“Never did I expect Jude to be so pliable. I thought he’d resist me more at first. Those subs who are highly driven want to let go of their control for a while, but it’s not easy at first. You’ll find many subs are bosses, CEOs, or doctors—people who have very stressful jobs.
But Jude just melted into the role perfectly. He was made to be a submissive.”
“I thought you said he was like me.”
“He is. Was. His trauma came out later. It was hard to manage at first because I didn’t know anything about it until he was triggered one day. Just like you when we took a shower.”
“Is that why you made me talk so fucking much about myself?”
I smile and laugh gently. “Yes, that’s exactly why. I like to learn from my mistakes, Precious.”
“Did… did you call Jude that?”
“No, that name only belongs to you. He had his own name.”
Jinx looks away, like he doesn’t want to ask but needs to know. “What did you call him?”
“During moments of sweetness, he was my Angel. During our sessions, he was my little slut. He enjoyed both names.”
Jinx finally looks into the phone and nods, his hand tucked under his pillow, the other threading through the cat’s long fur. He looks more tired now.
“What did he call you?”
“He also called me Daddy.”
“Oh.”
“Does that bother you? I like being called that, but if you prefer to call me something else, tell me now.”
“If you like it, then I’ll keep calling you that.”
We sit and stare at each other for a moment. When he yawns, I expect him to say goodnight. Instead, he asks, “Does it hurt to talk about him?”
Jinx has been open and honest, so I can give him no less. “Yes. Very much.”
“I won’t make you tell me what happened.”
I smile sadly. “Thank you. I will tell you, but not yet.”
“Can we talk more tomorrow night?”
“I’d like that, Precious.”
“Will you tell me about one of your sessions with him?”
“Sure.”
“I think I’m ready to sleep now.”
“Good night, my sweet pet.”
He smiles sleepily. “Night, Daddy.”
We hang up, and my ears ring from the silence. I touch the screen where his face had been, already missing him, too.