Chapter 7
Danika’s fingers glide through my hair, massaging tea tree oil into my scalp in soft, practiced circles. She tousles my curls one last time before unsnapping the cape at my neck.
“You’re good to go, baby doll,” she announces.
I turn toward the mirror and run my fingers through the shiny, shoulder-length ringlets and smile. “Thanks, Danika. I love it.”
Momma’s making a big to-do about the homecoming dance.
After school, she took me to get a manicure and pedicure, then dropped me off at the hair salon.
She even bought me a gorgeous fuchsia satin dress and matching lace-up stiletto heels a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t expecting the full-fledged prom treatment.
“You’re welcome.” She squeezes my shoulder. “Knock ’em dead tonight.”
“I plan to.” I grin and exit the salon, stepping into the humid evening.
I spot Momma’s shimmery yellow-gold Audi across the street, and self-doubt’s nagging voice booms in my mind, faltering my steps.
She let me choose my hairstyle, which means either she’s in a good mood…
or something more sinister is awaiting me.
I whisper a silent prayer, cross the street, and open the door.
“So what do you think?” I ask, sliding into the passenger seat.
“You look stunning,” she says, a calculating smile tugging at her lips as her eyes scan me like merchandise.
“I’m glad you like it,” I mutter, my internal alarm bells going off.
“I stopped by Lilac Fashion Boutique and got you a little something extra special for the homecoming dance tonight.” She plucks a small pink paper bag off the back seat and places it onto my lap. “Take a look.”
I excitedly rummage through the bag, expecting jewelry, but find a white lace bra and thong set. Confusion swiftly replaces my exuberance, angering Momma.
“Well?” she huffs.
“Um…” I’m at a loss for words.
There’s an ulterior motive behind this purchase, and I’m terrified to learn what it is. Undoubtedly, the nefarious scheme will benefit my mother the most.
“It’s beautiful,” I answer to appease her.
“Redmond’s going to lose his tongue when he sees you in it,” she boasts, her lips stretching wide.
Crippling dread unfurls in my belly. My fingers tighten around the bag. “Why would he see me in it?”
She laughs, but the sound is hollow. “You’re almost a woman, Zilphia. You know why.”
I swallow, forcing down the coiling apprehension lodged in my throat. “Y-y-you want me to have sex with him?”
Her hand cracks across my face, sharp and fast. My head whips sideways, and I curl in on myself.
“Don’t be stupid,” she hisses. “Never give yourself away for free. Tease him, but only enough to drive him crazy,” she cajoles, lightly skimming her fingertips over my stinging skin.
“Let him explore your body… fondle your breasts… touch between your legs. You can jerk him off and even suck his dick, but do not fuck him. Not yet anyway.”
I sit frozen, bile burning the back of my throat.
“But I don’t love him.” A single tear leaves a wet trail on my cheek and drips onto my trembling hand.
“Love doesn’t pay the bills. Your top priority should always be financial security. Redmond’s family comes from old money. Play your cards right and you’ll be set for life.”
Momma’s enthusiasm when I told her Redmond asked me to the dance, and the costly preparations make sense now. She plans to pimp me out, use me as her personal cash cow, and elevate her status in Texas’s upper echelon.
“Do you love Daddy?” I ask, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear her say it.
Emotionless eyes cut me to the core. “No, I don’t.”
My heart crumbles at my feet, disintegrating into specks of dust. I can’t deny the truth any longer. My mother is a monster.
“No curfew tonight,” she announces, then seizes my chin in an ironclad grip. “Show Redmond a good time. Am I understood?”
“Yes,” I croak, suffocating nausea bowling me over.
The underlying message is unmistakable. Willingly participate in her convoluted plot or suffer the consequences.
She kisses my forehead. “Good girl.”
The engine reverberates through my paralyzed limbs, and soon we’re joining rush hour traffic on the highway. Though the air conditioner is set to max, anxious sweat dots my skin.
What mother encourages her teenage daughter to seduce a boy?
My gaze clings to the small pink paper bag still on my lap. It weighs a few scant ounces, but mentally it’s crushing me. I roll my hands into tight fists to keep from ripping the racy lingerie to shreds.
My morals can’t be exchanged for monetary gain.
I’d rather be dirt poor. Love is supposed to develop naturally.
It shouldn’t be forced. Marriage is a sacred union, and mine will not be based on lies.
And, heck, I’m only fifteen. Tying the knot isn’t on my radar.
There are so many goals I want to accomplish before settling down.
Momma turns on the radio.
“Oh, I haven’t heard this song in forever,” she gushes, notching up the volume.
While she sings along to the lyrics, my heart and mind scream in silent agony.
I hadn’t even planned on giving Redmond a good-night kiss, let alone allowing him access to my most private areas.
Sam is the only boy I’ve ever been intimate with.
Our kiss was explosive, but it’s a line we shouldn’t have crossed.
There is nothing for us beyond friendship.
We’re destined to walk separate paths in life.
The sudden silence alerts me that we’re home.
“Go shower. I’ll be in soon to do your makeup.”
“Okay,” I reply tonelessly.
I follow her into the house and listlessly climb the stairs to prepare for my downfall. My inner turmoil intensifies with each wavering step. The second my bedroom door clicks shut, my legs buckle under the oppressive burden heaped onto my shoulders, and I crumple to the carpet in despair.
My airway contracts, limiting oxygen flow and constricting my chest painfully.
I reach for my purse and frantically fish out my asthma medication, then quickly inhale two deep puffs.
Once the wheezing recedes, I drag myself to the bathroom.
I shower and slip into my silk robe in a foggy daze before perching on my bed.
The thong is a size too small, making it impossible to sit comfortably.
It’s sure to leave an indent around my waist.
Momma scurries into my room, all smiles, large aluminum cosmetics case in hand.
“It’s almost time!” she exclaims, depositing the case next to me and promptly beginning my beautification process.
“You are so lucky. I didn’t have much growing up.
Momma barely earned enough money to buy the bare essentials.
All my clothes and shoes were hand-me-downs or from the thrift store.
The uppity bitches at school bullied me every day.
I wanted a better life and your father was an easy target. I seduced him and have no regrets.”
A sour taste slithers along my taste buds at her selfish admission.
“But you betrayed your sister,” I whisper.
She bends down until we’re eye to eye. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. You’re young, but one day you’ll realize the world is a cold place. If you want something, you have to take it by any means necessary. Everyone is expendable, including family.”
Nolan appears in the doorway. “I’m heading out.”
“You look devilishly handsome,” Momma raves, giving his designer outfit a once-over. “Have a great time.”
“I will. See you in the morning,” he says before strutting down the hallway.
Momma grabs the blush palette and sets to finishing her task. My curfew is lifted for tonight, but Nolan is always free to come and go as he pleases without question, even when he was my age.
“Flawless.” Momma beams, spritzing setting spray over my face.
Ding-dong.
“That’s him,” she breathes, her eyes sparkling like a schoolgirl about to meet her celebrity crush. “Hurry up and get dressed, and remember what we talked about.”
I nod, blinking away the tears threatening to spill free.